To ask if you would have another child..

[Babyblues209]

With new man if you were in your early 40s and already had 3 nearly grown up DC?

i'm 43 and am horrified at the thought of having a baby now - I just wouldn't have the energy (new partner or long term DH would have no bearing on the issue) BUT everyone is different & if you feel like you could cope with it then do!

Love not live, sorry

You will never regret having another baby, not ever,

Plenty of women do regret it.

honestly no.

i suppose if i was totally financially secure & aged 40 years + 1 month then maybe.

if money was any kind of issue & i was aged say 42,43 then, honestly, forget it.

@Babyblues209

No, no, a million times no. Don't DO it.

Why on earth would anyone want another child, when they're in their FORTIES, when they already have 3 kids anyway? (Who are almost adults!)

You're just setting yourself up for another 2 decades of school runs, school politics, school gate mafia, financial struggles, being tied down and unable to just pop off anywhere, having to always put someone else first, not being able to travel abroad so easily, having a messy house, never having any 'me-time' to yourself, and tying yourself down for ANOTHER 2 decades. WTF WHY?

And don't think for a second that your partner will do 50% of everything (childcare, school runs, housework etc,) because they never do. No matter how many people say on various forums that their partner/husband does 50% of everything. This never happens to any woman in real life. This will be mostly down to you, - YOU will be taking on the responsibility. FOR the next twenty years. So until you are a pensioner basically! You will also have a teenager when you're knocking the door of SIXTY. Fuck that.

Personally, I would never have a child over the age of 40 anyway, even if I had none already, for ALL kinds of reasons. So many reasons not to, and even moreso when you already have kids.

Wanna make something with your new partner? Make a quilt together!

And are you going to be able to support said child through university when you're drawing your pension?

Don't do it. Just no!

No - but then I'm early 40 and still have primary aged child and looking forward to more freedom.

I'm think about paying down morgage and ramping up pension funds - and frankly I'm more tired now than when they were babies.

I do know people who have done this and they seem happy.

You have 5 children between you. That’s plenty. Come on, now.

I would in a heartbeat. I love the baby stage even though it's hard work.

The thought of a teenager at 60 makes me break out in a cold sweat.

You will never regret having another baby, not ever, you will love that child no matter what but you may regret NOT having another one and once the time has passed that is it.

Bullshit. I know plenty of women who have regretted having another baby. All that sort of statement does is leads to a climate where women feel like they have to say "oh yes, having children is amazing" regardless of whether they feel that way or not.

I am a strong believer of the old adage... 'you are more likely to regret NOT doing something than you are to regret doing it.' With a few exceptions.....

Going for promotions, or trying a life in another country or city, or going to uni, or giving a relationship another go, or changing your hairstyle or look, or doing a skydive or bungee jump! THOSE are things that people are afraid to do and may regret not doing...

Having a baby is one of the exceptions I mentioned. You are more likely to regret having one than NOT having one. Especially if you have reservations, which you obviously have if you are posting 'shall I do it?' on a public message forum. This is something that cannot be undone.

Don't do it !!!

Personally I'd hate to be doing the school run at fifty...especially if I'd have spent my twenties/thirties doing the school run too...jeez! There no break...it's like four decades of child rearing....shudder!

You've got enough kids between you.

If you want a baby get a puppy. Their baby/toddler stage will drive you potty but at least it is short. Go to a rescue centre look into those big deep brown eyes and you'll be smitten.

Nope!!! I’d enjoy the time with my new man going out, having holidays- I wouldn’t set myself back.

I know, I know. I'm very lucky to have three healthy children, and I also keep thinking what if my fourth child had an terminal illness or was disabled, how would I cope? I'm also very lucky that at nearly 41 my children are 18,17 and 15 . It seems silly to go back and do it all over again when I'm still "young" and could do so much more with my life.

Tell me how you deal with broodiness, ignore and hope it will go away?

Tbh op, at 41 you probably won’t get pregnant easily - or at all - So my advice is try for a baby ( because I can tell that’s what you want ) & just see what happens.

We had broodiness after our third DC - never at the same time as DD2 birth and pg. had been difficult and we'd been let down by HCP.

So we used to list and focus on the negatives - or other one of us would do it. It had passed for both of us by time DD2 was 7.

Have you spoken with your DP - does he want any more?

My IL were child free by early 40's - DH was no longer at home. They paid the mortgage off and started doing more trips and holidays early 50s were doing the once in a lifetime trips. They're mid-60s and the health is starting to fail so they’re pretty pleased they did that.

Tell me how you deal with broodiness, ignore and hope it will go away?

Start planning (actually planning, with pen and paper, budgets, locations, time frames) your life for when youngest leaves for university. Think of the travelling you and your partner can do, you could move to a new location, change career, get a (nother?) degree, start loads of new hobbies, spend weekends in the pub or up a mountain or whatever. Honestly, there is so much ahead of you, start planning it.

Tell me how you deal with broodiness, ignore and hope it will go away?

YES, exactly this.

Many women get it, especially in their early 40's as your body and mind is telling you that this is the 'last chance saloon!'

Ignore it.

Well I'm pregnant at 42 so some of the above comments make awesome reading!! 😂. My dd is only 4 though so a bit different from your situation.

Honestly, I did a huge amount of partying and travelling in my 20s and 30s so don't feel as though I'm missing anything particularly. In your situation I would probably be wanting to see what the world and freedom had to offer rather than starting again. If your priority (and your partner's) is another baby then go for it. But an honest discussion would need to be had first!

Good luck 😉

I really wouldn’t...it would mean you would spend pretty much your entire life that you are fit and active enough to enjoy things being responsible for children. I had mine at 23 and 29 and now at 37 my youngest is 8 and getting a bit more independent...the idea of going back to square one quite literally fills me with horror.

The broodiness is most likely a hormonal thing...your body telling you that this is last chance saloon for your fertility. Rationally though, I would say this is a really bad idea.

It is a lie that you never regret having a baby once it is here.

I regret both of mine and would have no children at all if I had my time again.

I wouldn't no as your children are almost grown. No way I could go back to the baby stage. DS is 2.5 and there is no way I could go back let alone with the gaps you have.

No way. I have 3 too and would have preferred 4 but it wasn't to be.

Honestly, if I had 3 healthy children, I just couldn't run the risk in my 40s of having a child with health issues. Something like that would utterly change the next 50 years of your life and not for the better.

As for that you never regret a child platitude - what utter rot.