To ask if you would have another child..

[Babyblues209]

With new man if you were in your early 40s and already had 3 nearly grown up DC?

God, no.

I had my one and only child at 22 and no way will I want to do it all again when I'm in my 40s and he's independent. That will be my time for myself to do the things I didn't get to do when I was younger.

However I'm not you and it's a personal choice isn't it? If you want to why not.

No, I wouldn’t.

I’m your age with teens/young adults (though I’m not in a new relationship). I love mine, they are great fun but NOTHING could persuade me to have another kid. Nope

Environmentally no. The planet doesn't need more people.

I did it. There's 15 years between DD3 and DD4.

She's 4 now. I don't regret it.

No.

No no no no no.

No

Speaking from familial experience (not mine), much higher risk of problems. The DP then fecked off, leaving mother to hold the baby with complex additional needs. He’s off travelling and paying basic cms. She’s terrified of what happens when she is too old to care for her late dc. Her older dc are mixture of angry/resigned/worried about taking on care for younger sibling in future.

Personally, no. I'm early 40s and I know what it's like to picture an adorable baby/toddler and feel your ovaries twang. I also know the wistfulness when don't have the family you envisaged (I have an only child, which wasn't the original fantasy). But frankly, there is so much more to life than childrearing, wonderful as it sometimes/often is and I can't wait to go on and do those other things.

I'm 43 and I wouldn't. My dd is almost 23 and dd almost 25 and wouldn't want to go back to all of the baby stuff. But everyone is different and if you really want to then fair enough!

No. Five kids between you is A LOT unless you are extremely wealthy.

You have to assume, given its a new ish relationship with the pressure of existing DC that you'll end up a single parent at some point and then ask yourself the question again.

My response is, Fuck, no. Enjoy your life

Dh does a sport with a group of successful mid/late 40s men some of whom have dumped their wives for early 30s women who now all want babies and these men have to start all over again. Dh comes back horrified at their predicament. Ha ha ha.

Not in a million years! But as so many people have said, I'm not you. What I can say is that I always yearned for One More Child until my third was born. Then I knew we were done. I understand that hankering, I really do.

Also remember all these teenagers may need help with university money, then grandchildren.

No. If I were younger I'd have a 4th or if I didn't have kids yet I'd have one (I'm 41) but I wouldn't have another now. I'm done with having babies even with a new guy! That would be a dealbreaker for me if I had to have a new partner.

I don't have to though, thankfully. My husbands a knob but I'm planning on keeping him ❤️

No I'd wait for the grandchildren, you can hand them back 😉

Having another with a new partner just because you always wanted 4 kids when you have 5 already between you is ridiculous in my opinion.

I am not saying what you should do, but I would not go there with anymore children, due to the environmental impact that yet another new human would bring to your already large family.

If you really want to go for it. I absolutely wouldn't want to.

And also I think I'd need to have two so they'd play together (I know that's not everyone's view but it is mine)

2-3 seemed like a good idea to me. I got broody for a 3rd after having DCs at 30 &32, but my body found pregnancy and birth hard and I wasn't physically ready for another 2 year gap. Then a different opportunity came up and the younger one was 3 and life was emerging from the baby bubble and getting simpler and the broodiness passed, and the reality of going back to all the baby stuff and dependency outweighed it. They're both at school and the reality of herding them out, homework, reading, activities etc is too much. DH is older by a decade and that would put too much work on me as he gets more tired than he did a few years back. We'd also be looking at retirement/ university clashing.

For us, the boat has passed and we are happy with the family we have. If there was an accident, it would be loved, and I'm sure life would be good, but I'm not volunteering for another.

I'm 40 with two dteens 17 and 18.

I think about this too.

Part of me thinks he'll no!!!

But another part of me thinks in the right circumstances yes😁

But thinking about something and the reality are different.

I got two dogs.....older, settled yadyadyada. My kids are grown thought about the company and lovely walks yadayadayada..,

OMG!! It's like having two toddlers 😂 not the picture in my head. They're great and have given me so much. Wouldn't swap them for the world!!!!!

Ergo ....the feeling and thought can be different to reality. So thinking about it......HELL NO TO ANOTHER BABY

I am in a similar situation, 40, new partner, have 5 kids between us but he barely has access to his DC (legal battle for access etc.)
I absolutely would love another child, my 3rd one, unfortunately we cannot afford one and not in the position to have one. I would not want to go to being a new mother beyond 42-43 though, that would be the stop for me.
I say do what is right for you.

I’m 37, DD1 is 8yo and DD2 is 2 months old.

DD2 was wanted but NO WAY will there be a DC3.

NO WAY! Honestly, it's taking it for granted that you'll conceive easily and have a healthy, full-term child, too. I wouldn't risk it. You have 5 kids between you already. I'd start planning some childfree travel. DH and I went away for a week childfree and it was bliss!