to put a note through their door? Wwyd?

[adulthumanfemail]

Hello, we've got new neighbours again...

Next door is let and we own. Last year's tenants were fine but one of them played the piano all the damn time and was always the same tune over and over again. Whilst this was very very annoying, I figured they were learning and practising. These tenants have now been replaced with some really annoying, plain noisy people.

I have an 8 month old baby and his room is next to their daughter's room. In the evenings they are really loud. Is it bad to put a note through their door? Or should I try and speak to the landlord instead? I don't want yet another year of putting up with someone else's noise all the bloody time.

If they thought you could hear their conversations and what they were doing they may be embarrassed, which would be a good thing for you as they may start toning it down. Repeat some conversations to them so they know you can hear.

Are you for real? A hairdryer on just before 9 is completely reasonable . You need to save up and buy a detached property far from anyone . In the interim, Boots does a great line in earplugs.

Please speak to them.
I received this note a couple of weeks ago from my neighbour (I’ve owned my house for 13 years, they live in an HMO and have been there for 6 months).

My 13 year old dog had to be put to sleep that morning. My other dog was pining for passed dog. I was at home all day and left for 45 mins to pick my son up.

To receive this note was upsetting, but also made me angry as it was anonymous and they’d not spoken to me first.

I’d never had any complaints about my dogs in 13 years.

What a nasty little note. Cowards

When I was a loud, annoying 19 yr old my neighbour came round to ask if me and friends could keep our noise down as it was keeping their baby awake. I was mortified and apologetic. Most people are fine with being asked things like this if you do it directly and politely. Have a different conversation first maybe, so you've already broken the ice - so it's not the first thing you discuss.

How many usernames. That's a horrible note. X

Being too cowardly to politely ask someone to keep it down isn't something unchangeable to work around and makes communicating by note OK. It's just pathetic.

If you are too scared to politely ask a neighbour to keep it down, unless you have genuine reason to believe they will react violently, you need to bloody learn. It's a basic adult skill.

I lived next door to a noise sensitive neighbour. Could we not flush the toilet put on the dishwasher or washing machine, not put on the light in the bathroom that switched on a fan could l ask the little ones not to jump out of bed in the morning. The list went on. She asked my neighbours on the other side of me not to put their radio on at night and stop their cats from meowing at night. With 4 healthy boys l had to move. She made my life a misery that was not helped by an unsupportive husband. Years later a woman told me off for parking opposite her house in the street where l lived. My Garage was full as we had just moved in and the parking area for my block was full. She thought l lived on the adjacent road and shouted after me to go and get a house with a garage instead of parking in other people’s streets. She did make me smile. I told her sweetly l had paid my road tax and was legally parked. We all have to share the space in which we live and accept our different way of going about things.

Next door is let and we own.
Completely irrelevant

You mustn't send an anonymous letter. If I received one, I'd go to the police

Seriously? I could understand if it was unpleasant or threatening but a note about keeping the noise down is hardly criminal behaviour

It sounds like you are struggling and little down. When we are feeling like that we can be oversensitive to situations. I think you were just asking for some advice and not an ear bashing. You are shy and don't know what to say to the neighbours and I understand that espcially if you are feeling down. You might be suffering with baby blues blue's and need some support yourself. Try and get out of house during the day if you can maybe even a new mom group. Also try and break the ice with new neighbours even just a card 'welcome to your new home'... And most of all ignore all the negative comments on your post.

If your neighbours were partying, staggering in drunk at stupid o'clock and continuing the noise then you've got noisy neighbours.
All this 'I own & they rent' bullshit really pisses me off! They are just as entitled to use their house as a home as you are. That means normal daily living noise I'm sorry to tell you. Having a baby does not mean everyone around you should be as quiet as a mouse the minute your baby goes to bed!!
If they were antisocial then by all means speak to them. As what you seem to be describing is fairly normal shit suck it up....

You sound like hard work tbh. Playing the piano/using the hair dryer is hardly extreme. If I had an issue I would be an adult and approach it directly,

howmany what a snotty little note that is. That is what the writers of anonymous notes often do, use the anonymity to be snotty, nasty or even threatening when they would not do so if they had to sign it with their name and address,

I don't see a problem with the note, and myself I would prefer to receive that than a knock at the door. Everyone is different.

If worded nicely enough you can get the point across without it coming across as aggressive.

I had a very bad experience of knocking on a neighbours door years ago asking politely to turn down their outdoor music (not off, just down a little bit) and it completely backfired and caused a huge argument and we realised we weren't living near normal/reasonable people! It can be a bad thing to knock on the door.

I had a very bad experience of knocking on a neighbours door years ago asking politely to turn down their outdoor music (not off, just down a little bit) and it completely backfired and caused a huge argument and we realised we weren't living near normal/reasonable people!

And do you honestly think sending an anonymous note would have made the situation any better?

I think people's hearing really varies a lot.
Neighbours don't often disturb me but my friend always knows what room her NDN is in. So normal everyday activity noise is an issue for her but not for me although we are both in Victorian semis.

Your children will be older one day.

Is it unreasonable?. or are YOU unrerasonable? ... (not suggesting either)

I'd have a tactfull conversation..

"WE have to be careful because you can hear everything through these walls" type of thing...

Being a massive scardey cat, leaving anon notes.... but being happy to berate them on the internet is both immature, and kind of stinks.... IMHO

People who don't have the balls to approach someone face to face are are really annoying. You don't need to be aggressive, you can just approach them like normal person and explain. Most people are pretty reasonable. An anonymous note will poison any future relationship and make them hate you.

There has to be a point where you realise your the common denominator. Just saying.

Well - having just seen the thread below, and in particular the way the OP behaved (and the views of her 'supporters'), I don't think I would go over to speak in person

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a3401477-AIBU-to-ignore-neighbours-complaint?msgid=81998800#81998800

No @SoupDragon it wouldn't have, but it would have stopped a 23 year old me being shouted at in the street by their whole family.