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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put a note through their door? Wwyd?

197 replies

adulthumanfemail · 17/10/2018 20:40

Hello, we've got new neighbours again...

Next door is let and we own. Last year's tenants were fine but one of them played the piano all the damn time and was always the same tune over and over again. Whilst this was very very annoying, I figured they were learning and practising. These tenants have now been replaced with some really annoying, plain noisy people.

I have an 8 month old baby and his room is next to their daughter's room. In the evenings they are really loud. Is it bad to put a note through their door? Or should I try and speak to the landlord instead? I don't want yet another year of putting up with someone else's noise all the bloody time.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 18/10/2018 22:35

meaning they don't speak much English

That's what I thought .

BMW6 · 18/10/2018 22:58

"From 6pm we are almost silent in this house"

That is not normal behaviour OP. The neighbours noise you have described is totally normal and certainly reasonable.

Sorry, but it is you that is unreasonable here.

You remind me of a couple that lived in a rented flat below ours. They complained endlessly to us and our mutual LL about our "noise".

They could hear our TV.
They could hear our phone ringing.
They could hear us talking.
They could hear me getting out of bed in the morning..........

Whenever we walked past their door you could hear absolutely NOTHING. Lights on so obviously home, but total silence. Bizarre.

In the end the LL told them to leave if they were unhappy. I think they would have been best suited to a cottage in the middle of nowhere, not in a flat in the centre of a busy city.

.......OP.........have you ever rented a flat in Southampton?.....

Angelil · 19/10/2018 07:17

@SalemBlackCat

That may be - but the OP didn't explain then and has not come back to do so since.
Maybe I am also over-sensitive as my husband is not English (or even British!)...!

Notquiteagandt · 19/10/2018 09:31

Silence from 6pm is not thenorm at all.

Fairly standard business hours are 9-6

So id say vast majority people arent yet home from work at 6.

Surely such silence is setting baby up for only being able to sleep in absolute silence. And as such shooting yourself in the foot.

ferretface · 19/10/2018 09:35

YABU. Their noise sounds completely normal. If it bothers you install soundproofing in your own house.

SD1978 · 19/10/2018 09:43

It must be thin walls if you are currently complaining about hairdryer noise. Your baby never cries, squeals, or makes any noise? Because if you can hear them- they can hear you. Maybe your vacuum annoys them. I'm sorry but you are sounding a tad unreasonable. Can you get a white noise machine for the baby's room? You can't expect all normal family noises on their side to stop. Previous tenant annoyed you, this tenant annoys you, seems you need to put some things in place on your side to lessen the impact you feel.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/10/2018 09:52

They're drying her hair now with the sodding hairdryer

You posted that at 8.51pm? Totally normal. You are totally over-reacting.

What are they supposed to do, send her to bed with wet hair?

From 6pm we are almost silent in this house

With an 8-month old baby? Sure you are.

Missingstreetlife · 19/10/2018 17:57

if you own you are pretty much stuck, renters can move on.

Envoironmental health told me that if I could hear next doors tv above my own, it was too loud. Also expect reasonable, not complete quiet between 11.30pm and 7.30am.

cansu · 19/10/2018 17:59

You simply cannot complain to the landlord about normal household noise. If they owned the house would you be considering making a complaint? If they owned the house do you honestly believe the noise would reach the threshold for environmental health? Probably not I suspect. You are basing your desire to complain based on the fact that they rent their home. If they are disturbing you, speak to them but I would go slowly as your baby crying will no doubt be heard through the walls too. How would you feel about them complaining to you about that?

ALongHardWinter · 19/10/2018 18:01

In my experience, anonymous notes through doors just cause more trouble. I had a anonymous note put through my door many years ago,when I had the 'neighbours from hell' living underneath me. I am 100 percent certain that it was them that posted it. Apart from the fact that they were accusing me of doing something that I hadn't, it just caused annoyance on my part. I'm of the opinion that if you have something to say,you speak directly to the person. Don't hide behind an anonymous note.

Missingstreetlife · 19/10/2018 18:02

I had neighbours who left engine running, maddening.
Also some with loud music I didn't like, irritating
Then some with loud music I did like, tolerable
Some of it is attitude and if you like them

Missingstreetlife · 19/10/2018 18:05

If you put it in writing or complain to agent it will count as dispute. You have to declare dispute when you sell

livingontheedgeee · 19/10/2018 18:27

Tell them you hope your baby doesn't disturb them, sleeping in room next to their DD as you know the walls are paper thin and you can hear everything through them. That should do it.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 19/10/2018 18:34

OP, I think you were expecting lots of sympathy and enjoyable superior moaning about those terrible tenants (who of course are not quite human so of course can't be spoken to directly - and the comment about them not being English left a very, very nasty taste too) and aren't homeowners so much better.

There are a number of Enid Blyton storylines revolving around anonymous letter-writers being the 'lowest of the low'. Having been on the receiving end of a couple (likewise with xenophobic overtones), I am inclined to agree.

mumlost1940 · 19/10/2018 18:38

Ear plugs are known to be useful. Your noisy neighbours might be using them.

Fwaltz · 19/10/2018 18:40

I feel your pain. I had some very selfish noisy neighbours and even when I spoke to their landlord (and ultimately them - in tears at 4am when they were still making a racket), it made no difference. Noisy people don’t recognise they are being noisy, and from my experience even when they do, they don’t really care. I don’t know what to suggest other than moving to a detached property (if you can - but a bit extreme!), or investing in some sound deadening insulation - which is a pain for you, but might help? Hope you get it sorted.

SalemBlackCat4 · 19/10/2018 19:01

@Fwaltz For goodness sake, RTFT!!!!

holey · 19/10/2018 19:17

Not sure if you're still reading OP (I know you said you'd stop commenting) but I think you have thin walls and unfortunately you are going to hear everything from next door. Mine is Victorian and the walls seem fine but we are expecting new people next door who will be tenants (previous owners just moved out and it was bought by a private rental company). Obviously we are a little nervous as I think you always are when you get new neighbours but as long as it is normal family noise, there shouldn't be a problem. I think you need to properly think about whether the noise you are hearing is unreasonable noise (deliberately loud music/TV, people shouting etc) or if it is just ordinary family noise. At the moment you only have one little one so your amount of family noise is probably less than mine (3 teenagers). However, if your neighbours are talking rather than shouting and it is that which is upsetting you then I'm afraid your problem is the walls, not the tenants.

midsomermurderess · 19/10/2018 19:19

I live in a late Victorian flat with ostensibly, thick solid walls. I can here people talking through my bedroom wall and every single day my neighbour drying her hair. I has made me very conscious that I can be heard too but I don't know if she knows quite how much I can hear.

searose · 19/10/2018 19:20

I think unless it is unusual sound or you can pin it down to a particular time when it will disrupt baby getting off to sleep you should say nothing. I don't know that it is relevant that they rent and you have a mortgage. You cant expect them to creep around all the time. A note or saying something to them will just make their lives a misery and you will not get on with them.

Aridane · 19/10/2018 19:27

Hi, OP - I totally get you don’t want a face to face discussion. If I were you, I would take round / deposit on doorstep a welcome present and card and also mention the noise levels in your card

dustyparadeground · 19/10/2018 19:55

If you have an issue you definitely need to speak to them directly and not the landlord. However it did seem you were moaning about some pretty minor things IMHO but you should talk to them, maybe they'll be nice and understanding ....it does happen!

Tweez · 19/10/2018 19:59

I understand exactly where you are coming from Op...and believe me, even living in a detached property isn’t always the answer ( especially if next door can’t control their dogs for example) I feel your pain. I hope things get better for you, but the only answer really, is to eventually move at some point, if you can.

mizzmelli · 19/10/2018 20:01

So you make no noise after 6pm? With a baby? Why don't you ring the National Guard if someone dares to (God forbid) dry their hair without written permission from you.

svalentine60 · 19/10/2018 21:11

You didn't like the last neighbours and thought they were too noisy. Now you say the new neighbours are too noisy. It is possibly they also think you are noisy because there are think walls. YABU

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