to put a note through their door? Wwyd?

[adulthumanfemail]

Hello, we've got new neighbours again...

Next door is let and we own. Last year's tenants were fine but one of them played the piano all the damn time and was always the same tune over and over again. Whilst this was very very annoying, I figured they were learning and practising. These tenants have now been replaced with some really annoying, plain noisy people.

I have an 8 month old baby and his room is next to their daughter's room. In the evenings they are really loud. Is it bad to put a note through their door? Or should I try and speak to the landlord instead? I don't want yet another year of putting up with someone else's noise all the bloody time.

If the situation were in reverse, would you appreciate an anonymous note, or would you be offended and think your neighbours were rude?
I think a friendly chat could be a good first step.. After all if the sound of a hairdryer carries through the walks, it is likely they hear your noise too.
It's always better to communicate rather than alienate.

From 6pm we are almost silent in this house so maybe everyone else just seems loads louder.

Not aggressive just realistic. If you don't like noise, which is evident you don't, you need to move to a detached house or in a field on your own. You're going to get noise from everywhere and like pp said they could be turning TV up to drown your noise out?!

Sorry x post. I hate noise too so I do understand how you feel

u cant compain about normal hosuehold noise its part of life if it was parties loud music id understand but talking and hair dryers no

If babies always hear noise, they can learn to sleep through it. Tiptoeing around is not always necessary. A hairdryer is not really excessive. Irritating, maybe, but that's what you get with a party wall.
I agree with PP that your baby may likely make a racket at some point and you will be the noisy ones.
Really think hard about consequences - not every neighbour is reasonable, it could turn nasty very quickly, and bear in mind that any neighbour disputes have to be disclosed when you come to sell.....to move into your detached house where you will not have this kind of issue again.

@ballsdeep Well they're not because we're not making any noise.

MN always turns so bitchy in the end. Shame.

I've said I'll leave it. So let's leave it

Really I don't see bitchiness here. There have been constructive suggestions.

Not sure why you are being so angry tbh.
You asked if you are unreasonable and the honest truth is, yes.
Not everyone sits in silence all evening.

If you are in silence then of course noises are going to seem louder. I was sort of with you, noises are annoying but using a hair dryer at 8.45 isn’t exactly crime of the century.

 bitchy? Where? You asked If you were BU and many think you are after all the comments you have made

I hate how there are always comments about ‘move into a detached house’. Be realistic, not everyone has the money for that! I was in a one bedroom flat when the upstairs neighbours decided to play music 7pm-7am every single fucking night. When asked if they wouldn’t mind turning it down, the bloke punched me in the face. Obviously, I should have just somehow miraculously moved into a detached round the corner! Silly me!

We all have to live and should be considerate of others when we live in close proximity.

Just put yourself in their shoes when your baby is screaming. Unless it's a magic baby that has never cried of course.
Nobody is being aggressive or bitchy, but you're exemplifying the MNer who gets told almost unanimously they ABU and then starts with the "bitchy MNers" rubbish.

@Brigante9 but that's completely different situation altogether in comparison to what the OP has described

The sound attenuation must be awful if you can hear a hairdryer being used. It sounds like you’re hearing normal household noise. I think you’ll have to put up with that or move unfortunately.

I already conceded that I was being unreasonable! I also said thanks for the suggestions 

I'm afraid I must agree that YABU. I don't like to hear other people's noise either, so I live in a detached in the country. You can't expect people to live in silence

A friend had this problem in her kid's bedroom and solved it by putting a layer of soundboard/insulation on the adjoining wall. The difference is amazing. they lost a couple of inches of room and it cost about £200 for the one wall. Maybe that is an option?

Honestly? I'd do nothing. They'll move soon enough.

I think you should go round friendly and introduce yourself/ say hello etc.

On a different occasion then just being up that walls are a bit thin and your babies a light sleeper and if they could be a bit more mindful of noise at certain times.

If they're nice it'll be fine and if not , things could turn horrid.

We have some annoying neighbours who send us letters every time my 3 year old used to skip across the landing at 9am on a weekday. I thought it was downright rude.

Do you have any spare rooms on the other side you can move your baby too?
If a hairdryer is loud, then you don't have thick Edwardian walls though.

I guarantee you that you are not as quiet as you think you are. I’m sure you baby cries, if he’s fast asleep by 6pm then I expect he’s probably up and making noise before next door are awake. Do you not cook, watch tv, speak to each other or even flush the loo from 6pm until 8am the following morning? As you’ve found mundane noises can carry in an old terrace.

If you want your neighbours to be reasonable about the noise then you need to be reasonable, ask nicely and explain about the sleeping baby. I don’t understand what your problem with talking to them is. But maybe terrace living just isn’t for you and you need somewhere rural in the middle of a field! Good luck.

The I was going to say add soundproofing to your walls too. I've lived in various terrace & semis & never knew if a neighbour was using a hairdryer. If I could hear anyone that much I'd be raging too. But it's not their fault. They sound like they're just living.

Bang on the wall with a broom handle and shout please be quiet. Every time
They probably don't realise.