to put a note through their door? Wwyd?

[adulthumanfemail]

Hello, we've got new neighbours again...

Next door is let and we own. Last year's tenants were fine but one of them played the piano all the damn time and was always the same tune over and over again. Whilst this was very very annoying, I figured they were learning and practising. These tenants have now been replaced with some really annoying, plain noisy people.

I have an 8 month old baby and his room is next to their daughter's room. In the evenings they are really loud. Is it bad to put a note through their door? Or should I try and speak to the landlord instead? I don't want yet another year of putting up with someone else's noise all the bloody time.

Sooooo unreasonable to put a note through the door in the first instance of any complaint, let alone one that doesn't stack up! You're obviously one of those neighbours.

I would be so pissed off ifvmy neighbours spoke to our landlord before talking to us. It really would you like a less person. Not good enough to be spoken to first hand as you don't own...

Seriously, if you can hear the hairdryer they are NOT "thick walls". Unless it's an industrial wind turbine they're using?

How about engineering "bumping into them" and start a general conversation "welcome to the area etc etc". Then drop in a " sheesh these walls eh? Apologies if you can hear the baby, I mean you must hear it because I hear you hairdryer/turbine/tv/washing machine etc"

That way, you're totally mentioning the noise/loudness factor without outright "blame". Then if it gets louder you've got the "you know I mentioned the noise level..."

What time does your baby wake up in the morning op? If you're all quiet by 6pm, I'm guessing around 6am? And if you can hear their hairdryer, then I'm sure they can hear your baby.
I would take a hairdryer at 9pm over a baby in the early hours every time.

Op Please do not go to the landlord. We rent but we are also a normal family. Our NDN went to our landlord (well estate agent) & it really has made me feel very angry with them. They felt they could " get one over us" due to us being "mere renters" however all they have managed is to make me feel like they are utterly unreasonable (and our EA actually sided with us on the matter)

They are renters yes.. However they like you live in a home. They have as much right to you treating them with respect as you do them treating you with respect. The fact you are on a mortgage on your house and they are not does NOT change that. in short " don't go telling mummy on them"

I would ask from some of your comment that you consider if it actually is them making excessive noise.. Or if you are excessively quiet and expects the same from others?

The time to take it to the landlord is when there is something seriously wrong.

If you do raise a complaint, I'd advise you go with something other than 'their daughter dries her hair at bedtime'.

Haha its amazing how much people will assume when commenting! Hahaha

I'm not going to do anything about the noise.

I think I know when my house was built and it's definitely Edwardian. Maybe they are thin Edwardian walls. Who knows.

Night x

Dude, it’s not them- it’s you.

Some of us are simply not people people. That’s not a crime, but try and recognise it in yourself before causing trouble for your new neighbours.

@SaucyJack Yep. Already said that I've conceded.. so..?

Good gracious OP. How dare those peasants renters next door dry their hair in the evening! Talking above the TV as well!

Inform their landlord so eviction can commence.

I used to live in a Victorian tenement and when a new upstairs neighbour moved in the noise was horrendous. I went up and spoke to him one evening after work, and was super-polite. I don’t think he had any idea how noisy he was being, and how the sound traveled, and he was really embarrassed. The situation was resolved immediately.

On the flip-side, I had new downstairs neighbours who complained the noise of my hairdryer and alarm clock in the morning was disturbing their child, via a really snarky note. I thought they were totally unreasonable - I didn’t start work until 10, so it wasn’t even particularly early - and just carried on. A polite knock on the door might have made me more accommodating.

What do you do all evening if you are silent after 6pm?

Neighbours are a pain!

Everyone hates having neighbours, it’s shit. Unfortunately most of us have to live with having neighbours and living next door to other people that aren’t you.

People make noise, it’s crap and annoying but it’s something you are going to have to work around (obviously if it’s raves at 2 am then that’s a bit different!)
You need to come me up with ways to make life around other people more bearable for yourself. White noise, moving your DC bedroom around to either another room or bed as far away from the adjoining wall as possible, radio, tv noise, look at soundproofing, etc etc

You do also need to keep in mind, what are you going to do when your little one starts the nights of full on crying?
Will you apologise to the neighbours? What will you do to elevate the distress your little ones crying will bring to their DC Or themselves?

😒🙄🤔

You sound like a bit of a nightmare neighbour to be honest. ‘They’re drying their hair with the sodding hair dryer now’ at 9pm! OMG

I often don’t get home from work until 8:30 so would also be drying my hair at 9pm...but we own our house so does that give us more right to do so?

As a young family it can be tough to remember that the rest of the world often isn’t on your sleep pattern/ routine but that doesn’t make them wrong and you right.

When DP goes onto 5am starts we have weeks of going to bed at 9pm and we live next to students! They’re loud and irritating until about 11pm but I wouldn’t dream of going and knocking on their door because we don’t own the street!

Unless it’s past midnight and excessive regular noise you really have no grounds to complain to them! I would suggest that you look to move to a detached property where your family can live on its own routine uninterrupted, if you can’t afford that then just accept that this is what comes with living in terraces/semis

@Bobbybear10 Genuinely wondering why he's going to start nights of full on crying?

@IAmAllAsttonishnent You're blowing my post out of proportion..

I'll swap your hairdryer neighbor for my own DP.

He's currently gaming with his headset on and is in some kind of army shoot out with some bad guys and I'm getting all of the "pew pew pew die you bastards" sound effects.

poundland sells plants...forra pound. buy one?knock and gift them it ,quick intro,say who you are/neighbour-hope settling in ok-wanna keep noise down at night youre loud as fuck...?

An anonymous note? Seriously?

This ^

Of course YABU.
If you have new neighbours, go round and say Hi. Introduce yourself. Give them a card and maybe a plant. Invite them in for a cup of tea. Then, if there ever are any real issues, you can see if there is a way of working out a compromise is a sensible way.
Thing being, you probably only need to do this when there is an actual issue, not when people are oing about their daily lives in a perfectly reasonable manner.

The problem is with the sound insulation not the neighbours. They're allowed to blow dry their hair in the evening and watch Tv.

Don't do an anon note - surely it will be obvious it is either from you or the other next door?

Just to add, my walls are similar. Hear pretty much everything from one side. Not ideal but I've just accepted that is how it is and have tried to embrace it!

Our downstairs neighbour complained to our landlord (he was hers too) about us making noise. Part of it was reasonable and we hadn’t realised different layouts meant our TV was over her bed, part of it was ridiculous and completely unreasonable (the noise wasnt us).

But yeah, it was pretty horrible. We’ve always been good tenants but it soured the relationship and made us feel pretty shit and worried.

Always speak to them in person unless you’ve got very good reason to suspect it will turn nasty. And an anonymous note is the shittiest of all.

Op. You keep saying to leave it.. then you keep commenting. Either stop reading the comments, ignore them or ask for your post to be removed.
You’re coming across as rather odd.

Maybe they are thin Edwardian walls

You can hear a hairdryer. Whatever their thickness, they clearly have poor sound proofing qualities!

As an aside, I can't imagine a family house that is almost silent after 6pm.

It is stressful if your baby won't sleep through noise. I'd suggest putting the white noise on constant and then turning it off when you go up to bed.
To be fair, these seem like normal noises. And yes you will have nights where your baby will cry a lot. Your child is only 8 months.. you've got years of potential sleepless nights ahead.

My neighbours have a baby about 5 months old, she wakes me up a lot throughout the night. Would I ever say anything? No..it's part and parcel of living semi detached!