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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to put a note through their door? Wwyd?

197 replies

adulthumanfemail · 17/10/2018 20:40

Hello, we've got new neighbours again...

Next door is let and we own. Last year's tenants were fine but one of them played the piano all the damn time and was always the same tune over and over again. Whilst this was very very annoying, I figured they were learning and practising. These tenants have now been replaced with some really annoying, plain noisy people.

I have an 8 month old baby and his room is next to their daughter's room. In the evenings they are really loud. Is it bad to put a note through their door? Or should I try and speak to the landlord instead? I don't want yet another year of putting up with someone else's noise all the bloody time.

OP posts:
penny455 · 18/10/2018 09:18

Drying

penny455 · 18/10/2018 09:20

@adulthumanfemail your seriously complaining about someone getting work done between 8am-5pm ? You are very pathetic why don't you get out the house more. The fact you hear there tv & hairdryer does indeed mean your walls are fine. Get a grip

bloodylovethemoomins · 18/10/2018 09:29

If my neighbour put a note through my door telling me. It to dry my hair at ten pm I would think they were barking mad or a total arse hole and carry on.

Even if I was a renting foreigner.

IzzyGrey · 18/10/2018 11:08

I don't mean this in a horrible way but have you considered that maybe you are being a bit intolerant of normal, everyday noise? If you live near people you're going to sometimes hear other people. If it was the other neighbours and also these neighbours annoying you then I'd suggest maybe your house isn't suitable for the level of silence that you need. if my neighbour came round (or worse, wrote a note) and asked me to stop making perfectly reasonable noise in my own home (like using a hairdryer or practising an instrument at a reasonable hour - long before 11pm) then I'd be pretty angry to be honest. Maybe you need to move somewhere with either thicker walls or less neighbours? I mean if they were having loud parties or yelling all night I'd be on your side but it sounds like they're just getting on with their lives and doing nothing wrong! I wouldn't say anything or be bothered to be honest, but if you are going to then I agree that a note is definitely a horrible idea.

filka · 18/10/2018 12:02

We had this problem at my mother's house, an end of terrace. Next door didn't seem to be able to have a conversation, it was always shouting. And they too got a large dog, even I was scared of it. The dog wasn't too loud, but the shouting to get it to obey was ridiculous.

It's difficult because, as @civicxx notes, when you sell your house you have to disclose disputes with neighbours.

I agree with @theworldistoosmall, an anonymous note isn't really anonymous as they presumably only have one neighbour on either side. It could make the next conversation more confrontational - 'ere, did you write this???

As a landlord, I probably wouldn't throw out my tenants just based on a noise complaint unless it got to the stage of council notices and lawyers.

But if the landlord has an estate agent, you could have a conversation with them without elevating it to the level of a written complaint. Agents usually visit rented properties every few months, but you can also check who advertised the property last time the tenants changed.

One option - invite the parents to visit for a cuppa at about the same time that the daughter is ramping up the noise level. I would play desperate/anxious (baby can't sleep etc.) rather than angry.

Another - as you have had several noisy neighbours, can you consider putting some sound insulation on your party wall? You'd lose about 5cm of the room size but also quite a lot of decibels. It's an American site but have a look at [www.soundproofing.org].

Ultimately, if the tenants change frequently, hopefully you won't have too long to wait before the next change. But it's pot luck who will come next.

Good luck

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/10/2018 12:21

@AGHHHH

@AnnieAnoniMouse seriously?

Yes, seriously. The level of anger she’s displaying over everyday noise isn’t good. I think she needs to do as I suggested. I won’t repeat it as you felt the need to get it deleted (why MN deleted it is something I’m taking up with them).

It was a suggestio - it wasn’t rude, it wasn’t calling her names (as others have) or anything else. It was a perfectly polite post with a very reasonable suggestion.

OliviaStabler · 18/10/2018 12:22

You could knock on their door, politely introduce yourself and ask could they turn they TV down as you haven't got as far as they have in Handmaid's Tale?

Would at least highlight you can hear every word.

AGHHHH · 18/10/2018 12:42

@AnnieAnoniMouse I didn't feel the need to get anything deleted thanks Hmm

AGHHHH · 18/10/2018 12:44

I'm not the only member here, someone else must have reported it. Or perhaps MN saw it themselves and decided it wasn't appropriate. 👍

penny455 · 18/10/2018 12:47

Also can't believe you think just because you own and they rent that has anything to do with this situation, I really can't stand people like you. I can imagine you putting your ear against the wall trying to hear as much as possible sitting in dead silence waiting for the littlest noise and winding yourself up. Put your tv on and chill out. Stop making a fuss over nothing. There landlord would laugh in your face if you contacted them over a hairdryer and a tv show. Honestly find a hobby

Bobbybear10 · 18/10/2018 12:59

Yesterday 22:32 adulthumanfemail

@Bobbybear10 Genuinely wondering why he's going to start nights of full on crying?

How about when he is teething, When he is older and pushing boundaries so you tell him off, when he has some form of sleep regression, just because children can be crying screaming arseholes, etc etc

They are many reasons your DC might start to piss the neighbours off with screaming, crying or just general loud behaviour BUT that’s part of living next door to people. You need to learn to not be so insular. Your lovely little family is not the only one in the world and other people are entitled to make a reasonable amount of noise.

TBH I was perfectly polite and consoling in the post I wrote to you even though I thought you were completely unreasonable.
If you think there is anyway you might put your neighbours back up your passive aggressive attitude the way you have mine then for God sake don’t interact with them at all.

serbska · 18/10/2018 13:01

Their daughter is way older but has a bedtime of like 10/11pm. They're drying her hair now with the sodding hairdryer

If you came round to tell me not to dry my hair with a hairdryer, in my own home, I would tell you to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

LeftRightCentre · 18/10/2018 13:05

Their daughter is way older but has a bedtime of like 10/11pm.

Newsflash: 'way older' children/teens don't go to bed at 6pm. My 13-year-old goes to bed at 10pm.

DearTeddyRobinson · 18/10/2018 13:08

We live in an Edwardian house. We can hear when our next door neighbours turn the light on! The soundproofing is hopeless. If my kids were older I'd wonder if this post was about us. I'm sure our neighbours hate us

MamaJune · 18/10/2018 17:02

@AnnieAnoniMouse @AGHHHH I reported it, not sure if anyone else did too, but it was a disgusting comment.

Biancadelriosback · 18/10/2018 17:42

Hang on....if your house is silent from 6pm, how do you know the noise is disturbing your baby? Unless you sit in silence in his room and watch him all evening....

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/10/2018 19:47

MamaJune.

It absolutely was not.

I am worried about the OP. I made a thoroughly reasonable suggestion. I have no idea why you think as you do, but I stand totally by my suggestion to the OP.

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:05

@adulthumanfemail "Their daughter is way older but has a bedtime of like 10/11pm. They're drying her hair now with the sodding hairdryer"

How can you possibly hear that? It must be an industrial powered hair dryer with turbines if you can hear a hair dryer. Or your walls are paper thin. Like, cigarette paper thin.

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:21

"'Im pretty noise sensitive, but live in a 30's semi where, when it's quiet, I can hear every word of the conversation my NDNs are having. I can hear a loud "click" every time they plug something in to sockets on the party wall (which, for some reason, is the noise I find most irritating). I can hear their bog flushing and filling, their tumble drier running, their washing machine and the extractor fan on their cooker hood. "

Good lord, what type of housing do you people have in the UK? I can only imagine the walls are cigarette paper thin or it's like living in tents right on top of each other. Or is it like those English buildings in London you see that are supposed to be a block of flats/apartments but it looks like the houses/flats all squashed and run in together like sardines with almost no separation? I've seen the 'housing' buildings in London and it is terrifying just looking at it on tv from thousands of kms across the globe. Utterly horrifying and claustrophobic inducing. I have never lived in a house or building like that, always a stand alone house, so I cannot even imagine being squashed in on top of each other, but at times where I had stayed in a block of flats, you could barely hear anything from the neighbours, no matter how loud they are. How is it possible to hear all of that, if the walls aren't cigarette paper thin? How do any of you live like that, it sounds like a horrific nightmare. That isn't living. That sounds like you are squashed together like sardines. For goodness sake, get out of there! If you can afford your own home then why would you willingly choose to buy/live like that? I feel a tightness in my chest and a suffocating feeling just thinking about it.

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:29

"From 6pm we are almost silent in this house"

In most houses that is when dinner is being prepared, when tv is on, etc. Usually when a household is at it's most busiest. I have never in my life heard of a house that is silent from 6pm. Do you have no electricity and just eat at 5pm and go to bed at 6pm? Do you even own a tv?

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:39

Can someone please explain to me what a 'party wall' is? I've never heard that term before now. All I can imagine is a wall with a stereo on it, a disco/mirror ball light type thing, and a smoke machine maybe? Plugged into a wall of adaptors? But I get the feeling it is not that - also am imagining a wall lined up with socket adaptor boards/leads. I have no idea why.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 18/10/2018 20:41

The wall that divides a semi or a terrace. Them one side, you the other. But I like your idea of the glitter ball and cocktail sausage wall!

JosellaPlayton · 18/10/2018 20:41

A party wall is just a shared wall between two buildings. I like your definition better though Salem Grin

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:46

@Angelil I saw that 'not English' bit, and was taken aback but wondered if she was meaning they don't speak much English so face to face communication would be difficult. Maybe though I was just giving OP the benefit of the doubt, so, I don't know.

SalemBlackCat4 · 18/10/2018 20:47

Oh, ok, that makes sense about the wall. But, yeah, my version definitely sounds more fun. :)

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