hey everyone sorry didnt return last night, i unplugged early, i will do best to reply to each of you, please don't take offence if i miss you there is so many, thank you!
firstly thanks to all he had a little toast to my lovely friend and neighbour that is so heartwarming!
@Truckit such lovely words,
@Emmageddon yes she was only 68, and up untill the last 6 - 12 months she became frail up unitll that point she was pretty independent, she sufferd COPD and was plagued with chest infections often.
@continuallychargingmyphone @Emmageddon
in regards to the photo i posed sat wearning a stupid birthday hat, in bed pulling a stupid face for the photo, there is also a birthday cake on the rolling table, we had a little tea party in my room and DH brought her up wth him, i had many photos taken with people i loved while ill, i wasnt shying away because i was sick, i remained true to who i was, cancer was not taking the joy out of my life. i laughed the while way through it was easier for me to remain as normal as possible.
i found it hilarious because they way she said what she did, it was banter, it was a laugh as i mentioned i know it may seem insensitive to some but anyone who understood her, me our insulting banter would know there was no malice in it, i will be hanging the photo on my own wall today, as a reminder of how far i have come in 3 years, she did wait untill i had my all clear and was looking more human before she hung the photo i understood her and she did look fabulous in it!
@continuallychargingmyphone it went from her visiting me in hospital to assisting her as there was a 3.5 year time gap, i didn't actually do that much for her i would do the odd little thing like ironing if i noticed she had a few bits to do while i was there, i would knock as leaving the house as she lived next door to see if she needed anything while popping out to the shop myself, and it was only things like a loaf or some milk i would go and do her main shop . as i said i didnt know how ill she really was untill yesterday she kept her cancer hidden from peopel and only those who needed to know did, and i admore her for that,
@Doidontimmm oh she really was, i cant really do her justice with words
@PuppyMonkey Thankyou
@peachgreen upsetting people was never my intention i was asking advice/opinions
@Grumpyoldblonde i am fully aware of how lucky i am to have had such a wonderful friend, everyone deserves at least one in their life definitely keep the faith.
@PaulHollywoodsSexGut it certainly is
@Emmageddon
Faith and Hope would be lovely im from a house of girls so i often tell people i dont want girls, too much hard work and hoping for a boy! if its a girl im asking for a refund! haha but of course i actually dont care what sex the baby will be its just may way of making light of a dark situation for us again people may find that weird but making light of thing, is a way for me to cope. and it keeps my cards close to my chest i dont like showing emotion to people if i can avoid it i will
@sadwithkiddies im deeply sorry for your your loss, We laughed our way through chemo the best we could...no point crying is there she would say so you may understand the type of banter we had becuase i said exactly the same as your friend, there isnt any point in crying im still gonna be sick tears wont change it! my friends and family who adopted the same approach coped much better than those who did not, those are the ones that came to visit and didnt keep away because it "was hard for THEM" those are the ones who put their own feelings aside and tried to keep my life normal as we possibly could like jean, she wasnt going to treat me and speak to me any different because i was sick and i respected her for that, i didnt feel much like a cancer patient during those visits from people who treated me normally those moments i felt a little more like me i didnt want sympathy and tears from people i wanted as much normality as i could get.
@Bluelady sorry about the eye make up!
@ all of you who came and physically posted WOW HOW LOVELY!! i didnt think you would all actually physically post! just a silent little nod and raise of your glass/can/cup would of been perfect, im sorry i wasnt here, i feel terrible, as i said i unplugged, but i had a small (ok Large) bacardi and coke for my friend in my mug.
@Cuddlykitten that was a lovely little gift,
@donajimena and anyone else doubting my account, i do not have to justify myself to you, there will always be cynical people in this world and there will always be liars, i am not one, my account is true beside the names, whether you chose to believe it or not is entirely up to you, and i respect your choice, i had my toast in private to my friend i didnt realise people would actually post. and im overwhelmed many of you did thank you!
for everyone else with your lovely coments and suggestions thank you so so much you are all lovely wonderful people, hearing snippets of your own experiences was nice and very sad, xxxx