to not take something of a deceased neighbour

[GoingNuckingFuts]

my neighbour passed away two weeks ago she was 68 (im 30) i often (2/3 days a week) would go sit with her have a brew and a jangle (we could of ruled the world us two with our putting to rights convos haha) i would see if she needed a hand with anything around the house, shopping picking up, even though she had a friend a few days a weeks to help her with these things, i would often put some washing out, iron a few things, or pick her up a few bits and bobs, would make her some lunch take over cakes if id been baking, because i wanted to help my friend and i really enjoyed her company.

she became a frail lady over the last 12 months but remained sassy as hell, absolutely hilarious, and i loved spending time with her.

she was a good friend to me when i had cancer 3 years ago she and another neighbour (in 50's) would often make pans of stew/sunday dinners/spag bol, take our son over to their house's for lunch/dinner or just to play with their grandkids for an hour or so to give me and my DH a rest while was going through chemo,(i was very ill i nearly died im very lucky to be here) both ladies actually did more for me than my own mum who didn't cope well with my illness,

her passing was a shock but not huge as she had been really poorly, it broke my heart, i long for my friend back, she has left a little gap in my life, i miss our conversations more than anything, we had such fun.

her family have now been told they need to empty her house within the next 4 weeks I've offered to give them a hand and they have been grateful, her 3 sons have asked me to come and pick a little trinket of hers to keep as a thank you for all the help in her last few years but i really don't want anything, im just happy i got to spend time with my friend in her last few days and that i helped her with odd little things, and happy i have some fantastic memories with an incredible lady, i don't want her sons to think im ungrateful for the offer i really am not i am just as i said happy i made such a lovely friend and i hopefully made her life a little easier as she made mine when i was ill,

would it be unreasonable to not accept a small gift? i feel like it might be, she has quite a lot of grandkids and people she was friends with for much much longer (we had been friends around 5 years) that should have a little token, i don't want to offend them .

thoughts, please.

Just take a small thing. The family may feel slightly offended, or at least a bit awkward, if you turn down the offer.

What point? I’m sobbing here. Ops beauty of character shines through and I am greatly moved like the mighty mountains of wales.

God. I've had the worst day imaginable at work and this has proper cheered me up. Bloody lovely.

 Gucci's comment

@Truckit your heart's in the right place but Dylan Thomas wrote Especially When The October Wind a little bit better than you

OP

 thar should have said. It vanished

Wtf is going on with my iPad? Sorry

And death shall have no dominion, emma

Goingfuckingnuts

I hope when I’m an old lady I have a neighbour like you. You make the world beautiful

Do people really not think there is something slightly unpleasant about a woman who displays a photograph of a seriously ill twentysomething to make herself look better?

Who does that?

OP, well, good luck with the IVF but I can’t join in the heartwarming affirmations. The whole thing sounds unhealthy and bizarre to me.

Continually

That was clearly banter

What a moving thread. I shall raise a glass to Jean and smile through my tears. What a grand old Welsh lady she must have been. So strong through her pain, yet still able to remember her dear friend. Bless her for her wit and wisdom, for her nimble knitting fingers, for her daily dose of rum.

You made me cry... but I am so pleased for you. What a brave thing to do. Please use the blanket as I am sure she and her family will love knowing that you use it.

Thanks for sharing this @GoingNuckingFuts
You write so well - I feel as if I know her myself.

blarts

@continuallychargingmyphone

I am inclined to agree with you. If anyone had taken photos of my brother when he was undergoing chemo and looking terrible, in order to make themselves look wonderful, I would have had serious concerns about their mental health. It's bizarre and I'm surprised the OP found it hilarious, because most people would be upset and angry. I certainly wouldn't see it as a sign that someone had a crazy sense of humour.

I suppose different people find different things offensive though.

Aw, that's lovely - I'll be watching a film with DH so I'll raise a virtual glass now to Jean and all similar friendships and some for you.

I seem to have something in my eye! I am so sorry for your loss op but what an amazing lady she was! You sound like a lovely friend too. I will raise a to Jean at 8pm! And good luck in your baby journey. 

What a beautiful thread, she sounds like one hell of a lady! May she rest in peace x

I will raise a - don't know where it disappeared to on my post!

It isn’t really banter to put up a photograph its of the two of us it was my birthday I was attached to a chemo drip

And how did jean go from visiting the OP in hospital to the OP assisting jean with perfectly normal household tasks?

Ah, whatevs. What a load of my eye

Will be raising a bottle of bud to Jean at 8pm x

The OP appears to have gone gentle into that good night. Perhaps she is out doing good amongst her other elderly neighbours. I do hope so.

That is so touching. It is like something from a Miss Read novel, but set in Wales.

Wow. She (and you) sounds like a fabulous lady. Thank you for sharing this. It's beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

Theyprobablywill Miss Read, that takes me back, I used to read those books when I was off work sick. Thrush Green! I must dig them out.

Glad I clicked on the thread, very touching. I couldn’t wait until 8 for a drink I’m afraid.

Rarely do threads get me blubbing but this has.... and a true good karma to and fro.

She helped you when you were ill ... you helped and shared your life with her when she was ill... and now she is helping you again in the best way she can.

The mugs and photos are symbols of a friendship and most certainly needed to be part if your life even before you found out she wanted you to have them ...and more.

If i were young enough i would be a surrogate for you, you are a wonderful person and Jean saw that.

So I will raise a can of cider at 8pm to not only Jean but to you and to frienships like this the world over that never make the headlines. I had a crappy day too because of people that make one despair of the human race.... this story has reminded me that there are decent people around .

To Jean and Going