What to do with aupair

[Whattheactualheck]

Would really appreciate some help here. Aupair started out fairly promisingly but things are becoming increasingly strained. It doesn’t feel as though she wants to be part of our family. She spends a lot of time on her phone when she’s supposedly “ playing “ with the kids. I’ve already told her about this several times. She can’t cook and so I’m preparing all the meals even when I come back from work I’ve barely got my foot in the door and I’m busy in the kitchen. She has every weekend off and has friends she stays with in the next town so we don’t see her from Saturday morning until Sunday late at night. This is fine and I’m glad she has fun. However it’s the attitude when she’s here. She’s cold with the children. Makes no conversation and acts like she doesn’t like them. My son was ill the other day and I said I had to go back to work for a few hours and could she please look after him. I got tearful phone call from him saying could I come home as the aupair went out just after I’d left. My husband and I repeatedly tried to phone her but she wouldn’t pick up. I had to leave work in the end and her reason when I finally got hold of her was “ it was such a gorgeous sunny day I really fancied a walk”. A two hour walk when you’ve got a sick child that you’re supposed to be in charge of? Then this morning another tearful call from son saying she’s been mean to him and his siblings. Cold and snappy and just generally rolling eyes at them and being unkind. Would I be justified in calling it a day? Son she left alone is 11 by the way. I don’t mind twenty mins here and there but this was over two hours . I’ve had enough.

Not long now op, what a madam you found!

40minutes left!!!! Has she packed yet?

Think she just did a massive shit and didn’t bother trying to conceal the smell.

She has been busy eating everything in the house!

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that there are an awful lot of people out there who take advantage - and the nicer you are, the worse you're treated.

I hope you get a nice girl next time.

Is she ready yet?

Or maybe she has an upset tummy , that would be awful

It would indeed. It might even delay her departure, which could well be what she's banking on

Think you had better check the bathroom walls before she goes, as others have said - a dirty protest may await you

@DerelictWreck do you mean Shengen to UK?
Every airline allows National ID for that flights. I know. I fly on my ID.

Check her room and bathroom before she goes! She may have clogged or left something revolting somewhere!

Hi OP,* just caught back with thread.

Am at her cheek but similtaneously not iykwim? The only AP I ever had that was like this remained, well like this , until the very last moment. She is on an UTTER piss take.

Please ignore the odd hyena on here, there are times posting on my own various threads over the years has saved my sanity and got me through the day so for the love of God don't let the brayers deter you!

I'm glad you've shifted to taxi instead of lift - with lift her friend could conveniently 'not be in' or some such bollocks and she'd have found a way to remain your problem, this is a much better plan.

Hear you vis 'no valuables about' but you've likely more than you think. Please do check everything (esp private stuff/kids money/your purse/paperwork/jewellery etc) looks as it should and ditto check her room with her before she leaves and DEF before you hand over anymore money.

Is your key the kind that can just be copied? Mine are laser and need a pass card plus passport but if you've got a Yale or such U would honestly change the front and back locks - it's just not worth the risk.

Good luck - and don't be guilted into backing down or ignore your spidey senses about thoroughly checking something if it feels off (TBH I'd have wanted to watch as she packed b but I'm a cynical sod by now!)

It’s 4:30! Taxi’s are usually on time.. but was she ready?

Good luck!

Hoping the OP is successfully bundling aupair and belongings into taxi now...

I really hope she’s gone

She’s gone!!! Omg the relief

Get that bathroom window open woman!

And well done

Hurray!!! What was the parting shot? Any rude comments from her?

Yes!!! 🙏

I’ve checked her room. Lots of food crumbs and nothing missing. Between telling her she’s sacked and getting the key off her she didn’t leave the house so pretty sure it’s not copied.

I helped her in to the taxi as her bags were heavy . I hope she manages ok at the station, I’m sure she can get a trolley. I’ve managed myself at that age with heavy bags. I just said goodbye to her and she replied the same. No point saying anything more. I feel almost euphoric

Good for you, OP.

Good for you. And your family!
I would still be vary of they key.

Well done, bet you're well relieved 🥂

Maybe you’re right and I’ll get locks changed. The place she’s staying is at least an hour and a half away on public transportation so chances of her bothering are slim. Can’t face cleaning her room and bathroom today I’m exhausted after no sleep last night!

Oh thank heaven for that ... but yes, definitely change the locks. She may have had no time to copy them since yesterday, but you've no way of knowing what she's done before, or even who she could have given one to

I think you coped with this situation very well.

Now find someone else who is more suitable, take up references and ask questions.

Good luck.

Just wondering - were her bags heavier when she left than when she arrived? I hope she hasn't taken anything she shouldn't.