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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to sit through IL's holiday photos?

203 replies

Hooli · 14/10/2018 09:18

PIL's have just returned from the holiday of a lifetime to Australia. They've saved for years and been to see family they haven't seen in over a decade so it's all very exciting for them. They've been gone for just over a month so we popped over last night to see them.

We stayed for tea but wanted to get back for kids bedtime. However, FIL had spent two days putting all their photos on a presentation which he wanted to show us. Boring as fuck right?

Not only that, but whilst away, MIL posted every single picture on Instagram AND sent 10+ pics a day to both me and DH on WhatsApp. Ten pictures a day for a month. Of Australian scenery.

Five minutes into the slideshow, I said we needed to go (kids were close to kicking off and knackered). A few hours later I got a message from MIL to say she was really upset, that they'd been looking forward to showing the kids the pictures and talking us through their trip that was so special to them.

WIBU? Should I have feigned interest?? I haven't replied yet... HmmConfused

OP posts:
TubbyTubster · 14/10/2018 09:21

Sounds like you could have been a bit more diplomatic but I don’t blame you, my IL’s do the same thing and their photos are boring as fuck. I probably would have waited until the kids kicked off and used it as an excuse to leave.

babswindsor · 14/10/2018 09:23

It is boring, for sure, but if they are generally nice people, I think if I were you I would apologise, blame the kids and resign yourself to another afternoon/evening of intense boredom. Maybe being a bottle of wine with you to numb the pain?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/10/2018 09:24

It is boring for you, but a big thing for them. I’d have sucked it up. That would have been the kind thing to do.

BluePheasant · 14/10/2018 09:25

Why did MIL message you instead of her own son? That would piss me off more tbh.

DitheringBlidiot · 14/10/2018 09:25

There is not much more boring than other people’s holiday photos. It’s nice to see a couple but no one needs a pp presentation

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/10/2018 09:26

Mil messaged dil because it was dil decision to leave presumably. She was the right person to message.

Originallymeonly · 14/10/2018 09:26

Next time you go over, give kids your phone on Instagram and tell them it's a competition to match the photo you were sent on the day with the one in front of you, that might get the message across?

BluePheasant · 14/10/2018 09:26

I would get DH to call them and just explain it was bad timing, all over tired etc and arrange to see them next time at a better time.

ThanosSavedMe · 14/10/2018 09:30

Why don’t you say it looks as though they had an amazing time and then remind her that she sent most of the pictures to you whilst they were on holiday.

And get your dh be honest. To tell her that whilst you appreciate they want to show the kids the photos and it’s a lovely thought, but they would t be that interested, other people holiday photos are just not that interesting. A few photos are fine but not a whole presentation

BertrandRussell · 14/10/2018 09:31

You were rude. It was important to them-and presumably a one off. Apologise, say you were tired and in a bad mood and go and see the pictures another day.

And if I was the OP and the mil had messaged my dp instead of me about something Ihad done I would be seriously pissed off!

Coolaschmoola · 14/10/2018 09:31

Did they ever sit through your wedding photos? Listen to you talk about something they don't really have an interest in?

This is part of being a family. Good bits, bad bits, and bloody boring bits. No matter how fascinating you may find your own conversation, situations and events, there will have been occasions where you WILL have bored them shitless. If you don't know that it's because they know it's part of life.

You were rude. This mattered to them.

Ginger1982 · 14/10/2018 09:32

You were rude. Sometimes you need to suck these things up.

peachypetite · 14/10/2018 09:32

You were really rude in my opinion

KC225 · 14/10/2018 09:33

Yes, it was the trip of a lifetime. They had saved for years and it should have been treated the same way newly weds get the wedding photos or worse still ultra boring wedding videos out. You take a deep breath - fix a smile and do ohhhhs and awwws, lovely.

Write back and say sorry, the kids were getting cranky, you hadn't slept well the night before, you didn't want to catch the traffic etc. Of course you want to see the photo ss from their trip of a lifetime but maybe you can see them.at the start of the visit and not the end.

In an act of diplomacy, suck it up. You have described it as a trip of a lifetime, its not as they will be doing it next year or the year after. Make amends.

peachgreen · 14/10/2018 09:38

Of course you should have feigned interest. I don't understand why people think it's acceptable to be so rude and unkind to their own family. It's annoying but it makes them happy and I have no doubt they've done it for you many times. Suck it up! And be grateful it's not my dad who, despite the fact that I watch the show, takes me through his favourite moments from Strictly every time I see him. Grin

southnownorth · 14/10/2018 09:38

I think it was a bit rude but I understand the children needed to go.

I've just realised I have been boring my parents for years as I always make them watch my holiday pics on big screen when I get back. Bless them though, they have always sat through them and been polite.

Maybe offer to pop back when the kids are less tired, if they are nice inlaws?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 14/10/2018 09:39

Did they ever sit through your wedding photos? Listen to you talk about something they don't really have an interest in? This is part of being a family. Good bits, bad bits, and bloody boring bits. No matter how fascinating you may find your own conversation, situations and events, there will have been occasions where you WILL have bored them shitless. If you don't know that it's because they know it's part of life. You were rude. This mattered to them.

Absolutely this. It’s a once in a lifetime experience for them and they want to share it with people they love. Apologise, explain the DC were restless and you wanted to give the presentation your full attention.

Get some treats in, have plenty of breaks, anything to make it bearable, but you must reschedule.

Original poster
Hooli · 14/10/2018 09:39

But I'd already seen ALL the pictures.

TWICE!

If I had sent someone every single picture of a trip away (or a wedding) I wouldn't dream of then getting them to sit through them again!

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 14/10/2018 09:41

You suck it up because they are nice people and there are probably things you talk about or do that bore them, but they are politer than just upping and leaving. It's no different to people's newborn photos or godawful professional family photo shoots. So it'll take an hour or so, it's not the end of the world. Message back and say the DCs were getting tired but you'd all love to see them another time.

MrsVietor · 14/10/2018 09:41

Oh dear, you've hurt their feelings.

I speak as someone whose FIL took them page-by-page through a radiator catalogue, so I feel your pain.

But it was a one-off, I think keeping the kids up and extra half hour would have been feasible.

timeisnotaline · 14/10/2018 09:41

Sorry guys. We didn’t realise you had a slideshow planned and the kids needed bedtime (innlaws should know this). Can we book in some proper time not at bedtime to see it? Fault both ways I think (& yes you do have to sit through peoples boring photos sometimes for friends and family)

Sickandtired02 · 14/10/2018 09:41

I couldn't of done this to my mil it would of been like shooting a puppy in the face I would of got a cup of tea and sat through it and every few photos said something like oh wow that looks amazing and looks like you had a brilliant time. But that's just me some people don't like looking through photos. I dont think abu I think they were just excited and you had reasons you needed to get going. If It had been earlier would of you of sat through them?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 14/10/2018 09:43

Just tell them it was bad timing and you needed to get the kids home, but you’d like to see them another time. Perhaps you can suggest they edit it down to the highlights as the kids are not so good at keeping their attention focused.

Honestly, other peoples’ photos are so dull - friends of mine had an evening showing the ones from their honeymoon, and they are good photographers and went somewhere very exciting - but at least they broke it up with lots of destination themed food and drink.

MrsStrowman · 14/10/2018 09:43

@Hooli

But I'd already seen ALL the pictures. TWICE

You are quite rude, this to means a lot to them. I guarantee you have done things in your life that bore people, get over it and give these people some of your time. Not everything is about what you want, try being a little selfless.

Catsize · 14/10/2018 09:44

I think you were a bit rude but the timing wasn't ideal.

I am also someone who LIKES seeing other people's holiday snaps because I am interested in travel and interested in the lives of my friends/family.

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