To not want to sit through IL's holiday photos?

[Hooli]

PIL's have just returned from the holiday of a lifetime to Australia. They've saved for years and been to see family they haven't seen in over a decade so it's all very exciting for them. They've been gone for just over a month so we popped over last night to see them.

We stayed for tea but wanted to get back for kids bedtime. However, FIL had spent two days putting all their photos on a presentation which he wanted to show us. Boring as fuck right?

Not only that, but whilst away, MIL posted every single picture on Instagram AND sent 10+ pics a day to both me and DH on WhatsApp. Ten pictures a day for a month. Of Australian scenery.

Five minutes into the slideshow, I said we needed to go (kids were close to kicking off and knackered). A few hours later I got a message from MIL to say she was really upset, that they'd been looking forward to showing the kids the pictures and talking us through their trip that was so special to them.

WIBU? Should I have feigned interest?? I haven't replied yet...

You had already seen the pictures but there is a pleasure people get in being there when you see them - watching you as you watch them - which they obviously wanted.

YABU. Very rude.

They may have wanted to show you other pictures besides the ones already sent.

I can understand the idea of sitting through the photos would not have been onyour number 1 on the list to do. However your MIL has told you in her message that she was looking forward to sharing them with her grandkids. I feel sorry for them as this was a huge deal for them and you dismissed it as you couldn’t be arsed. To be honest if my OH did that infront of mum I would tell him to sit his arse back down and we are staying....

I'd have got a glass of wine and got settled in. Boring yes, but part and parcel of extended family relationships.

So rude, and unless there’s a massive drip feed (children are 6 months old, SN, it was midnight etc) you are demonstrating that rudeness to your DC.

They saved forever for this holiday then your FIL spent two days editing and organising photos, and you just left after 5 minutes?

It’s not like they do this every year- it was a really special holiday to them and they wanted to talk to you and their DGC about the photos.

I think the suggestion to say of COURSE you want to see the photos etc but the kids were knackered so can it be another time, and then take some nice distracting wine is the answer. Not to be horrendously rude and quite hurtful to people who sound a little dull but fundamentally nice.

Suck it up. You may well have already seen the photos, but they wanted to tell you about the places, experiences, their trip of a lifetime via the photos. It's what families do.

No, I don't really want to see pics of my nieces meeting a Disney Princess but in return I bet they didn't want to sit through me seeing the mosaics of Ravenna. But we all did and somehow we bonded as a family.

You admit they are nice people, apologise and book another time.

I think you owe them an apology.

They must have been crushed to have gone to all that effort.

You should have stayed. Think of it as brownie points harvesting if nothing else.

It's not about the fact that you've already seen the pictures though, it's about the fact that they want to tell you about their holiday and SHARE their life experience with you. If you don't have any interest in them as people why see them at all?
I say this as someone who has very little time for most people. But for someone I actually want in my life I'll feign interest if I can see it makes them happy. Because that's what it's about, making other people happy. Putting yourself to one side for five minutes. It has to be done again and again in life. Otherwise just don't bother with people, but be honest about not being interested and accept that you're hurting people.

I'm not sure that you were rude tbh-if it wasn't convenient to stay, then it wasn't.

They can reschedule, can't they?

What does their son think about it all?

Presumably he agreed with you Op, & ILs would want their GC to also enjoy the pics, not be tired & cranky?

Thanks for the replies. I will arrange for us all to go back round but also manage expectations and explain kids will probably not sit still for all of them.

HRTFT because I got fed up of reading exhortations to the OP to 'be nice'. Nobody ever tells men to be nice. Women with tired cranky children have to be nice though, and humour everyone. Pshaw!

Nobody ever tells men to be nice

OP’s DH was there though too so I think we are all saying he should have been polite too.

Aww, it’s a once in a lifetime trip, you’ll only have to sit through a slideshow like this once, humour them!

I say that as someone who’s in laws always do this, even for a weekend away, and rarely reciprocate the enthusiasm for our snaps.

I would send back a breezy but not unduly apologetic email saying that another time would have been better, as the children were tired, and you needed to get home for bedtime. Maybe next time you see one another?

Yeah you should have stayed; you were rude. Don't know how old your kids are but if you can't get them to sit still and behave themselves then that's another problem.

YWBU. I quite understand that you found it all excruciatingly boring especially as you’d seen them before but there are ways of doing these things so that you give joy to your family members but also a VERY gentle hint that maybe next time they might like to show you fewer photos.

I used to sit and look through all of FIL’s holiday photos of the same place year after year. Badly shot, badly printed photos. The first couple of times I woukd ooh and aah out of politeness (sometimes it was genuine interest, even) but then the times after that I would be skipping through them and handing them back without much comment at all. the important thing was that I looked at them all though. FIL I think came to realise they were all a bit samey probably from our not overly enthusiastic viewing of the photos but no-one got hurt in the process. He came to his own conclusion that it was probably a bit boring for others.

It’s called social skills, OP!

Juells - there are plenty of threads on here about urging men to be alot nicer

Surely you could have just said "we followed your trip on social media and saw all the pictures already. It looks like a great trip. You'll understand the importance of getting the kids to bed at their usual time..."

Yes you have seen them twice, but would it really kill you to sit for 30 minutes and view them altogether? They probably want to talk you through them and share stories about what they did and family members they met. It means a lot to them and just seems a bit sad that you can't give them your time.

Oh bollocks was it about "getting the kids to bed".

OP, you were appaallingly rude and really need to apologise properly. Not your dp, you.

You were rude, it obviously meant a lot to them.

Poor form to use your kids as an excuse too.

Really boring, but kind to indulge them and ooh and ahh over their photos.

We went away to the same place as some friends and met up with them a few times. On our return they invited us over to look at their photos which they had made into a 40 minute long slideshow, with captions - and it was set to music! To add insult, they had already uploaded about 250 bloody photos to FB so we'd seen most of them.

We sat with rictus grins through the whole interminable thing.

Suck it up. You may well have already seen the photos, but they wanted to tell you about the places, experiences, their trip of a lifetime via the photos. It's what families do.

This. OP you were rude and a bit childish tbh.