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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to sit through IL's holiday photos?

203 replies

Hooli · 14/10/2018 09:18

PIL's have just returned from the holiday of a lifetime to Australia. They've saved for years and been to see family they haven't seen in over a decade so it's all very exciting for them. They've been gone for just over a month so we popped over last night to see them.

We stayed for tea but wanted to get back for kids bedtime. However, FIL had spent two days putting all their photos on a presentation which he wanted to show us. Boring as fuck right?

Not only that, but whilst away, MIL posted every single picture on Instagram AND sent 10+ pics a day to both me and DH on WhatsApp. Ten pictures a day for a month. Of Australian scenery.

Five minutes into the slideshow, I said we needed to go (kids were close to kicking off and knackered). A few hours later I got a message from MIL to say she was really upset, that they'd been looking forward to showing the kids the pictures and talking us through their trip that was so special to them.

WIBU? Should I have feigned interest?? I haven't replied yet... HmmConfused

OP posts:
Itsallamysterytome · 14/10/2018 16:25

I have sat through lots of evenings like this with friends and relatives sharing their wedding/holiday/ baby photos and the stories attached, because they are just that my friends and relatives ( and besides, I will/have at some point done the same to them ).
Put a bottle of wine in front of me and be prepared for me to ask questions on the photos that go way off tangent though.

CoughLaughFart · 14/10/2018 16:48

As you've said, they are FB/WhatsApp/Instagram generation themselves and use it liberally

But they’re probably of the generation that thinks Facebook etc. is a great way to share the pics with Auntie Doris and the old neighbours they haven’t seen in ten years. They probably still think close family would want to sit and chat through them.

I don’t think you’re as awful as some people are making out, OP, although I’d have tried to stick it out a bit longer than five minutes. But maybe now they will get the message that two hours of it is a bit much.

TheArtfulScreamer · 14/10/2018 17:03

This reminds me of the time my MIL got us and my BIL/SIL a calendar made up of PIL holiday photos for Christmas, it never saw the light of day amd me and SIL both had a chuckle, but then my MIL is very self centred and this is just one example.

thisneverendingsummer · 14/10/2018 17:03

Why the F does ANYONE have to spend hours showing people their holiday pics, when they have put them all on facebook and instagram?! Confused

I haven't shown anyone my photos of ANYthing since 2007! I put stuff on facebook!

karmap · 14/10/2018 17:13

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.

Whyohsky · 14/10/2018 17:24

There’s no way I’d apologize. My ILs are exactly the same, OP. Oblivious to just how boring everyone else finds their endless shots of a tree, or a tree in France, or a tree in Spain, or a car in France, or - wait for it - a car in Spain... Holiday photos tend to be of interest to those who were there and very few others. To suggest you look over every single one again was rude of them, to suggest it with tired children around was just ridiculous. And then to moan via text?! Your MIL needs to grow up!

Krakant · 14/10/2018 17:41

No way would I have sat through that either. You weren't rude, they were. I get that the holiday was the centre of their lives for ages, but (just as with a wedding), they shouldn't have expected it to be anywhere near as exciting to you.

I'd never expect anyone to sit through a sideshow of my photos - it's pretty unbelievable that they did this to you, when you were there with two young kids, and then texted you to moan about you not enduring it.

chillpizza · 14/10/2018 18:10

Thankfully my I laws just put send them to dh, he shows me sometimes and I go oh looks like a nice hotel, looks sunny. I have no interest in them tbh they insist on bloodying Skyping though while away I just busy myself in another room while they go on about how hot it is, what the pool/food is like etc. My parents don’t do fb and just show me a couple of photos from a trip they might have done like river rafting or something only ever five photos maximum. Mine just go on fb as a way of logging photos to print Grin I don’t think I’ve ever asking more than did you have a good holiday? Don’t think I’ve ever been asked more than that either. Certainly not enough to fill 3hours if chat plus a 2 hour slide show followed by a video. I couldn’t sit though all that without many bottles of wine.

Gigis · 14/10/2018 18:19

Ugh my in laws do this too. It drives me crazy because my fil is the kind of man who likes to hold court and genuinely has stopped conversations me, dh and mil have been having in order to start the slideshow, which he then treats as if it's a lecture and we should be making notes. It drives me mad but there's no getting away from it - the first time we see them once they're back from holiday we are guaranteed 30 mins plus of photos. I once suggested meeting up for lunch thinking that he couldn't pontificate and monopolize our attention when out in a public place but I was wrong. Half way through lunch he produced an iPad, PULLED DOWN THE BLINDS OF THE WINDOW WE WERE SITTING IN TO PREVENT A GLARE ON THE SCREEN (!!!) and began. Seemed oblivious to my quiet fury and the utter bemusement of the couple at the table next to us who had been plunged into gloom.

chocatoo · 14/10/2018 18:24

Do people on MN never suck it up and just be nice? Would it really have killed you to stay and watch or to arrange a time when you could go over and feign interest.
I worry about the lack of manners and absence of kindness that people are teaching their children.

GunpowderGelatine · 14/10/2018 18:25

YANBU. I find my own holiday pictures boring

greendale17 · 14/10/2018 19:04

You were rude. I am sure they have had to sit through boring conversations with you. Why couldn’t you just suck it up and do the same.

ShackUp · 14/10/2018 19:26

gigis Grin your FIL needs his pomposity pricked in a major way, what a complete bore!

Teateaandmoretea · 14/10/2018 20:17

Yanbu deciding to put on a slide show as you were leaving was frankly ridiculous.

A lot of the people on this thread must get 'hurt' a lot in life I imagine Hmm

NonaGrey · 16/10/2018 17:25

Do people on MN never suck it up and just be nice?

The majority of posters have said that they would do exactly that Choc.

Teateaandmoretea · 16/10/2018 18:23

Do people on MN never suck it up and just be nice?

The same could be said for the in laws.

Bluelady · 16/10/2018 18:46

Yup, the majority of people posting here have said it was rude and unkind.

diddl · 17/10/2018 11:16

It's the starting these things just as people are wanting/trying to leave that's so annoying.

This would have been my ILs.

No notion at all that when we visited our hometown we might also want to see others as well as them.

They'd also invite people around as well so that we felt obliged to stay.

Cheeseplantandpickle · 17/10/2018 11:31

Maybe going against the grain here, but if my IL's had started to roll this slide show out at that time (my kids go to bed at 7), without prior warning then proceeded to tell me off in a text message for putting my kids first, then I'd be thinking they're the rude ones.

Quipsandquotes · 17/10/2018 11:31

I can't stand looking at people's holiday photographs, but on this occasion I would have just sucked it up. I'm sure your PILs sometimes smile politely while secretly bored with something you or your children are doing. Sometimes you just have to feign interest to avoid hurting people's feelings.

juneau · 17/10/2018 11:35

Do people on MN never suck it up and just be nice?

Do self-involved people ever think that maybe other people don't want to sit through their bloody holiday photos? A bit of self-awareness goes a long way - and it sounds like the OP's ILs could do with a dose of it. Why is it all about them? Why did the send all the fucking photos on WhatsApp if they wanted to do a slide show when they got home?

Quipsandquotes · 17/10/2018 11:59

They're elderly, they're excited, going to Australia was a huge deal for them.

People show endless photographs of their children, or their sister's wedding or whatever. For most people, seeing a couple of photographs is enough but we just smile politely and make interested noises. The in laws timing wasn't the best, but leaving after five minutes was unfair. Maybe start making noises after half an hour when the children are getting restless, and pretend you're leaving reluctantly.

I realise though that the OP has responded and agreed that she was being a bit unreasonable.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 17/10/2018 12:03

Just say I'm sorry you were upset but the children needed to get home for bedtime. I'm sure we can see more another time.

itssquidstella · 17/10/2018 12:14

OP I'm on your side here. DP's mum is a bit like this with the constant photo updates - lovely, and I'm glad to see they're having a nice time, but no way do I want to sit through them again when I've already seen and commented on each photo individually!

IAmBeyonceAlways · 17/10/2018 16:19

Did she accept your apology OP, and have you had the "joy" of re-seeing their photos?

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