To not want to sit through IL's holiday photos?

[Hooli]

PIL's have just returned from the holiday of a lifetime to Australia. They've saved for years and been to see family they haven't seen in over a decade so it's all very exciting for them. They've been gone for just over a month so we popped over last night to see them.

We stayed for tea but wanted to get back for kids bedtime. However, FIL had spent two days putting all their photos on a presentation which he wanted to show us. Boring as fuck right?

Not only that, but whilst away, MIL posted every single picture on Instagram AND sent 10+ pics a day to both me and DH on WhatsApp. Ten pictures a day for a month. Of Australian scenery.

Five minutes into the slideshow, I said we needed to go (kids were close to kicking off and knackered). A few hours later I got a message from MIL to say she was really upset, that they'd been looking forward to showing the kids the pictures and talking us through their trip that was so special to them.

WIBU? Should I have feigned interest?? I haven't replied yet...

Seren I also have happy memories of the slide show nights! Setting up the projector facing a plain bit of wall, getting the slides loaded, focussing the picture, getting them the right way up!
All our family pics were on ‘transparencies’ as my dad called them. I’m his older years we got hi. A machine to convert them to digital images and got to go through them again.
Glad to see you’ve decided to suck it up OP!

I have to disagree with everyone. I don't think yabu. They could Obviously see the kids were getting cranky but it was more important to show off their pics which they posted all over and to yourll individually. I suspect there was a boring narration to go along with each and every picture.

I can agree with your reaction because I've been through this. Friends of ours went on a beach destination holiday and posted pictures every bloody day on all social media and to our group whatsapp. After a few days of 50 shots of the beach and meals in different angles people were sick of it and just stopped commenting.
They also got upset at the lack of excitement from everyone.

We get it, they went on a trip of a lifetime. Saw family who your kids dont even know , so will be bored stiff watching a presentation of these randoms. They sound very self absorbed, if they posted on all SM what did they want a personal presentation for? Just so everyone can ooh and aah.🙄

But they're so excited to show you, i know it's boring - my in laws do the same thing, I dread it every time, Especially the argument about which SIM card the particular pics are on, and then the same faff with trying to get the pics to display on the tv. Nightmare. But I grin and sit through it. Every single time.

You sound like a great person.

Your PIL are being U.

DH should deal with them, you don't have to be 'nice'. Life's too short to indulge people's boring banging on about their hols.

Please don't feel bad, they should gain a bit more perspective.

Christ, people get upset about stupid bollocks.

I get it would have been dull but I would have stayed, not worth creating bad feeling and upset. You may have bored them in the past, who knows.

Sounds like they think a lot of you as their DIL if they are sending you daily updates from Australia.
You should have sucked it up and stayed to watch the presentation.
If you haven't done so, make amends.

It’s part of family life, the boring bits. No doubt they’ve ‘humoured’ you with stuff too and just smiled and oohed and ahh’d too. Don’t use the children as an excuse.

Yes it's boring but you should have let them show the photo's anyway. They probably sat a whole day through your boring wedding too (everyone knows you will say I do) and the pictures and the pregnancy stories and the house if you bought one. Other peoples stuff is boring, it's the fact that they want to share their feelings about it with you that makes it so special.

A PP hit the nail on the head with the endless WhatsApp pictures and IG post and asking whether we'd got them and having to find something different to write every day when it's the same picture of a different beach or a car they've hired.

They spent last Christmas evening showing us the video of their recent caravan holiday! (Just illustrating that this isn't a one off occurrence)

You sound a bit unkind - it's a trip they have saved for, for years, it was massive for them. Just feign interest and be nice. There could be many more things that would be far more difficult - so be glad you have something nice to talk about, something they are excited about and it will have done them the world of good. (Personally bracing for pictures of the Norfolk Broads this coming Saturday!!)

They sent a good half a dozen people daily updates (including SIL, aunties, friends) so not just us

OK - 2 hours and a video, ILs are not getting the fact that you have seen it and done it by now. Also, no need for a powerpoint when you have done the stories and had Instagram. Even my DH can edit his 1000s of photos down to 20 minutes and he can be the height of tediousness

RIng back and say kids were getting restive and needed to go to bed. You have so loved hearing about their holiday, have they any new stuff to show you that you haven't already seen?

I recall going on a guided tour of Syon House and seeing the Print Room full pasted floor to ceiling of prints of places the owners had been in Italy on their Grand Tour. We wondered if an 18th century visitor dreaded going to visit and being stuck in the Print Room after dinner, just as you would now dread being stuck with a 2 hour Powerpoint of the family photos

Oh please I'm sure a couple of grown adults will get over their daughter in law not wanting to see their pictures again and again!

YANBU, it was the kids bedtime.

PIL should have timed their slideshow better. They don't have to deal with the fallout of overtired kids.

Presumably your DH was happy to leave too so why is MIL upset eith you?

Yes they sat through our wedding and of course I updated them and chatted to them about pregnancy stuff and baby stuff, just like I've always listened and been genuinely interested in their lives, their fall outs with people, the daily minutia because that is social engagement. I'm not that self absorbed.

I just thought it was spectacularly bad timing to start showing us a 2+ hour long video when the kids were tired and we'd already listened to them and asked questions for the previous three hours.

I had also shown quite a lot of interest for an entire month beforehand

PIL should have timed their slideshow better.

I think it would have been OK if OP had said before the show started that now wasn't the time because the children were tired. It was leaving 5 minutes into the show that would have been hurtful.

But OP has said she's going to rearrange, so hopefully all's well that ends well.

i always think back to the million "sleeping DD" photos i sent to family when my daughter was born. I thought every little thing she did was magical. And luckily nobody was rude, even though they must have thought I was barking mad.

So for that reason I would be polite to them and watch. At the end of the day its a few hours out of your life that one day you wont get to do.

And I left after five minutes because it was clearly obvious that the kids were restless and not concentrating and tired. I didn't just get up and walk out.

Yes, I sent pics to the grandparents but wouldn't dream of collating them together into a three hour film for them and then forcing them to watch it. People share the odd picture, that's life.

It's gone from 2 to 3 hours slide show

Look you were rude but they should have a bit more self awareness.

Ask if they can make a child friendly edit so that the kids get the best photos (and you'll benefit from a shorter viewing).

You don't seem particularly sorry OP.

I would say "Ah mil I am sorry you feel that way, it wasn't my intention, but it was bedtime so to be fair it really wasn't the best time to choose for kids, maybe save them for day time visit and they might like to see some of the photos, I know they are beautiful as I have seen them on I Instagram & what's app already, looks like you had a ball"

I would send something like this.

i also think you're getting a hard time on here unfairly. As you've said, they are FB/WhatsApp/Instagram generation themselves and use it liberally ... and you've been looking at and commenting on their pictures for the duration of their trip. You have been polite about it, and you also spent the entire meal listening to their stories about their trip. Tacking another 3 hours onto that to look at pictures you've already looked at and hearing the stories that went with them after you've already heard them isn't reasonable ... especially at bedtime for young children.

I wouldn't go above board in apologising beyond the above type of script. And I would have your DH talk to his parents about the realities of people not wanting to sit through such a production when they've already seen all the pictures and heard the stories. Alternatively, tell him he can take the children round himself when it suits them and see how long the show lasts when he has to keep them politely watching...

cardibach and Seren that's exactly what it was like. Gave me a lovely warm feeling. You can feel that warm happy feeling and be bored at the same time!