In thinking having more than 5 sexual partners doesn't make you a raging whore bag?

[fifithefoof]

Following on from the last thread .....

Do you not believe me, or is the fact that I think 3 is a high number shocking to you

No, I believe you. The face was at the fact anybody could sincerely think 3 was a high number. Although to be honest, your later posts have completely disabused me of that notion. You know full well 3 is not a high number and you don’t even think it is yourself. You’re just pretending you do because your using your mock horror and supposed shock to have a pop at other women.

take no notice. Some women don't like it when other women have had very few sexual partners. They see them as a threat

What? I can’t understand the logic or reasoning behind this. I don’t particularly see anybody as a threat because I’m at that stage of life where I think if me or DH was offered a choice hanging off the chandeliers for and hour of mad passion with the man/woman of our dreams or a nice cup of tea and a quiet lie down. So I’m not really in the business of seeing anybody as a threat really.

I don’t think I really like the idea of viewing women as ‘threats’ anyway. No woman can be a ‘threat’ if your partner isn’t going to cheat. Women can only ever feel insecure that their partner will cheat - that is no responsibility of the women around them and if you see women as a ‘threat’ to your partner’s faithfulness then you have issues in your relationship with your partner and not other women.

What a strange, immature, childish attitude to be talking about other women as ‘threats’. I can’t say I’ve really heard that sort of language much this side of secondary school.

That seems quite a cavalier approach..

It’s not really. You need to be aware of things like Chlamydia anyway and things like HIV, the chances of women who haven’t had a partner from Africa catching HIV through PIV is just about nil.

I did some work a while ago on the long term effects cost wise on the NHS of STDs, leaving HIV aside, one of the biggest causes of harm is things like undiagnosed chlamydia causing infertility. Things like that are as much caused by promiscuity as they are complacency and people who say things like ‘Oh I only had one boyfriend then my husband so I couldn’t possibly have had anything and never got tested.’

It was an interesting piece of work and it was interesting to look at people’s perceptions of danger vs. real danger. For example people who grew up in the 90s might be very aware of problems associated with HIV but not realise years of undiagnosed Chlamydia could leave them infertile with no symptoms.

People keep making this association with self esteem

I think sex and self-esteem are highly associated for many people, whether that's true for you personally or not.

Can any men on here chip in? (That's the first time I've asked for a man's opinion on mn ).

I’ll chip in.

I couldn’t give the tiniest of shits how many sexual partners a person has had. Their life, their choice.

What strikes me from this thread is how judgemental some people are about other people’s choices. Seriously, who cares, or rather, why? Whose business is it, except those concerned? Whether the number is 0 or 1,000 doesn’t impact me, so why would I feel entitled to an opinion?

If a female friend told me that she’d had 1,000 sexual partners, it might strike me that she enjoys sex. But I certainly wouldn’t make some kind of value judgement about her self-esteem, because, so far as I’m concerned, that would make me a colossal arsehole.

5 is really very few, over the age of 25ish, unless very strong religious beliefs or similar. Sex outside of marriage has been pretty ubiquitous for at least 30 years now.

Gingerrogered

I'm really not, please don't make assumptions, I am not having a pop at anyone!

I truly believe 3 is high, and for me personally it's something I'm ashamed of, I would prefer it it to be just one, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23, is that having a pop at other women too?

Thankyou Thisneverendingsummer

I know some people don't like that the fact that there are women who have had very few partners

I wasn't a massive whore bag, but I had a good time! I don't give a shit how many people classes me as a whore bag, in case you want to put a figure on it!!!

I'm sorry that you are ashamed that you have had 3 sexual partners. Where does that shame comes from?

Dione

Not sure, very strict upbringing I guess

My mother was, and still is toxic

The word sex was never even mentioned in my family, let alone talked about

It's not the low number that people have an issue with, it's the holier than thou,I'm better than you,pity and all the other bullshit that sometimes comes with the low number.

And a threat? To what?

I know some people don't like that the fact that there are women who have had very few partners

Why would people dislike it?

If you’re happy that is absolutely the most important thing.

I couldn’t care less whether a woman sleeps with 1, 5, or 378283 people. I do think they shouldn’t compare themselves more favourably against other women because of what they do between the sheets.

Thank you for answering Zukie. Please do not think that any intelligent, decent women judge or feel jealous of you because you have had 3 lovers and they have had 1 or 1 million.

Thankyou Dione

for you too

Thanks Zukie. No one here ever gives me flowers.

Whorebag is a horrible word.

Hoebag is much easier to say.

Ah fuck it. See you on the town hall steps...

@DioneTheDiabolist

There’s no such thing as a raging whore bag!

I'm 94 abs have had over 200 hundred sexual partners. I was a virgin when I married my DH and I stayed faithful throughout. However when he died last year I decided to let my hair down a bit

I call my DH a manslut for having had a whole 7 different sexual partners in his whole adult life... of course I say it jokingly because I honestly don’t care and he doesn’t care that shock horror I’d had ‘the sex’ with a few different men too (in my whole adult life)...

thisneverendingsummer

Are you alright love?
Who will judge me? I've been happily married for 27 years, do you think I care
Thought this was light hearted, didn't see the other thread.
Do people really care, Wow.

Whorebag is a horrible word.
Hoebag is much easier to say.

Damn it, now she tells me.

5 is really very few, over the age of 25ish, unless very strong religious beliefs or similar. Sex outside of marriage has been pretty ubiquitous for at least 30 years now.

You are creating arbitrary thresholds based on your own personal experience, but it really depends on individual circumstance.

At my university we were told that one-third of students would have lost their virginity before they started university and another third would do so during their time at university - so the final third would not. What is normal then?

In a similar vein, a friend is married to the guy she started going out with just before university. It would not be surprising if her number was lower than a contemporary who was still looking for a lifelong partner - even if they had the same self-confidence in exploring their sexuality, and the same moral outlook.

The number really isn't interesting or meaningful in the slightest - but the stories that lie behind it probably will be.

Apparently I’m the ‘dirty fucking whore next door’ according to my neighbour because one hot summer night she heard my husband and I shagging!!

So I think regardless, someone is going to think you’re naughty. It’s why there is such a weird vibe in ultrasound waiting rooms, everyone knows everyone else has had sex

As I pointed out to my housing officer (yes the neighbour actually reported us) my husband and I have been together 13 years and if we can get it over and done with in an advert break, all good. Silly woman could have it a LOT worse.

Just ignore what people think and do your own thing.