In thinking having more than 5 sexual partners doesn't make you a raging whore bag?

[fifithefoof]

Following on from the last thread .....

Can you at least understand why someone who does associate love and sex would have trust issues opening up to someone who did not?

Lornar that’s entirely up to you.

Go ahead. Do what you will. Pick whoever you want and shag or don’t shag them.

Your refusal to understand the simple fact that basically some people view things differently is very odd.

@JacquesHammer yes! I'm quite looking forward to meeting him, and our eyes meeting as the sparks of pure physical attraction take us in their grip.

@lornar123 yes. of COURSE we can understand that someone who does associate love and sex would have trust issues opening up to someone who did not?

nobody here has ever told you that choosing to only have sex with people you love and inside of comitted relationships is not ok. it;s ENTIRELY your choice and entirely up to you how YOU engage with and feel about sex and being sexually active and with whom.

but equally it is also ENTIRELY everyone else's choice and up to them how THEY engage with and feel about sex and being sexually active and with whom.

we have not told you that you are wrong about YOUR approach or feelings about sex. But you have repeatedly tried to tell other people how THEY feel about it and insisted that they are wrong and either do not know how they really feel or are lying to themselves.

Can YOU at least accept/understand that while you feel one way others feel a different way? in fact, many many different ways.

I do accept it. I guess to me part of being in a relationship or opening up about how you feel is opening up to the possibility of being hurt. You are vulnerable to someone you love because they have the ability to hurt you by deciding they no longer want to be with you. Or by cheating on you. Posters on here seem to not feel this way in relationships so it's a fundamentally different experience.

So do you also accept you’re wrong to tell other posters they’re dishonest, lying or just plain wrong?

More absolute bullshit.

Where has anyone said that if they were in a relationship and cheated on they wouldn't be upset?

that's not true @lornar123 and you have been repeatedly told that we all, IF we were in committed relationships, would be very hurt by someone cheating on us, the betrayal and breaking of the bond of trust would be devastating. You are right that part of giving into and committing to a relationship is letting them into your life and heart and opening up to them.

The difference in opinion lies in that some of us are able to and enjoy having sex with people WITHOUT doing the opening up emotionally or placing any trust of commitment etc on that person.

I still also do not understand the explanation about why the same imtimate physical act means something one day and not the next, or why someone who does not see physical intimacy as an expression of love requires that in a relationship said act must be done with them and them alone, it seems inconsistent to me.

Dionne, I always maintained that it's the person you are intimate with that make the experience. It's other posters who have said the person is irrelevant to the sex and that they would not miss the person at all.

Lornar.

One word. This time. Since you appear to be hard of thinking.

Rape.

Get the difference yet?

No soup, for me the hurt would be that he wanted to have sex with someone else and not me..it's got f all to do with trust or bonds or anything else. And why would the bond even be based on sex ?

We're talking about consensual sex. Active participation.

And why would the bond even be based on sex ? it's not... that is EXACTLY our point.

Fifi, I realise the thread is long so maybe you missed it.

Soup if having sex causes the bond to be broken then it is based at least partially on sex. Shees.

Mr FTF. I think he’s wonderful. He makes me laugh. He’s supportive. He absolutely thinks I’m the best thing since sliced bread. We share interests and are comfortable and good together.

The sex isn’t the best I’ve ever had and sometimes there’s no sex.

And I am ok with that. I’d rather have him the way he is than not have him.

Why is that hard for you to grasp? I do not feel like you do. People have all kinds of different views.

And this historically is written into law since it's a reason for divorce. So not a controversial or incorrect assertion at all really.

@Lornar123 I realise the thread is long and you might have missed it.

Just asking again:-

So do you also accept you’re wrong to tell other posters they’re dishonest, lying or just plain wrong?

ftfoawygtfosm it isn't hard for me to grasp, but at this stage of my life I feel differently. Obviously once I'm older I would not dump some because they had health issues.

What are you talking about?

Sex is part of it but not all.

Me and mr FTF are exclusively monogamous. He’s my best friend my lover my rock and the person I Turn to first. And he views me the same.

If I went out and shared my worries and fears with someone else and not him that would be just as much of a betrayal as if I had sex with them. More so in many ways.

If he suddenly started to lean on anyone else, male or female, romantically or not, and wasn’t emotionally available for me, we would be finished.

Jacques I think they use different words for the same thing and I find their positions completely unrelatable. And you were actually dishonest since you conceded you would miss your partner after implying you would not.

it seems inconsistent to me

I really hope for your sake this is simply your boredom combined with competitive nature that is making you keep on flogging this horse rather than a genuine and fundamental lack of understanding of humankind.

And you were actually dishonest since you conceded you would miss your partner after implying you would not

Can you at least do me the courtesy of not inferring a marital status upon me?

Please read the exchange with Stonebake. That clears it up rather than your ridiculous hyperbole.

I’ll await the apology, thanks.

Well this thread took an odd turn.