In thinking having more than 5 sexual partners doesn't make you a raging whore bag?

[fifithefoof]

Following on from the last thread .....

If you are in a relationship with someone you also would hope that they would not want to have sex with someone else because you give them all they need

I would assert an intimate exclusive relationship is about SO much more than just satisfying someone sexually. I have had partners who satisfy me sexually. I don’t want a relationship with them.

I wanted a relationship with my husband because of MORE than just the sex.

If your partner would rather have sex with someone else, they have no business being in a relationship with you.

And you haven't answered my question: did you have sex with the Ex who cheated on you?

ftfoawygtfosm

Perhaps he could tell you what he likes and how he likes it ? Woukd it bother you if it was something his ex "taught" him and he wanted you to do the same ? Like I say I think these things are not discussed because they cause hurt and confused or jealous feelings.

No it wouldn’t bother me if he found out when he was with his ex that he liked to do something sexually.

ftfoawygtfosm

Perhaps there.is but I suspect the distinction would be lost on your husband were he to find out. Me too btw.

Perhaps he could tell you what he likes and how he likes it?

Yes - absolutely fine.

Woukd it bother you if it was something his ex "taught" him and he wanted you to do the same

No. Where else would be find out he likes something? Just like I know my likes/less keens from previous partners

Like I say I think these things are not discussed because they cause hurt and confused or jealous feelings

These things ARE discussed. Just not with the amount of importance that you ascribe to them. Neither is wrong.

i would prefer to have sex with anyone else but my husband. If he ever laid a hand on me it would be rape. Because he’s an ex. And I’m not married.

And no. It wouldn’t be lost on my boyfriend. Because he is a mature adult who can understand the difference.

lornar123 Having had amazing sex with a previous partner doesn't mean you want to have sex with them whilst in a later relationship. I can have had amazing experiences with someone, but that in no way means that I'm wishing I was still in bed with them years later.

Of course if a partner in a current, committed relationship said they wanted to sleep with someone else any person would be upset - but that has absolutely no connection / link / relation to having had kind blowing sex with someone years ago.

Being jealous of prior relationships and applying that to current ones really isn't healthy.

Ok then, so if they are better at sex and sex is just sex, why would you not want to have sex with them ? I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to give me a sports massage better than anyone else nor for him to be jealous that I went for sports massages whilst in a relationship with him.

Yes Dionne we were together a while.

DawgLover

Pretty sure it would if said person went back to the amazing sex person having decided you ndidnt do it for them anymore.

Because sex in a bad relationship isn’t worth the bad relationship.

I can have sex with a fuck buddy and it’s just sex.

But my ex husband - the sex with him would come with all the rest of the bad relationship. And he was crap at sex anyway.

ftfoawygtfosm

Don't believe you sorry. If your husband said x was much better at sex than you, but I still want to have sex with you, you wouldn't care ?

Don't believe you sorry. If your husband said x was much better at sex than you, but I still want to have sex with you, you wouldn't care

It isn’t for you to believe or not. How supremely arrogant.

But no. I have no clue whether my FWB thinks I’m the best or not. Don’t care. It’s good sex

Even in 2018 a woman with multiple sexual partners will be judged a lot more harshly than a man. That’s just the way it is.
Women, on the whole, want romance, love, commitment, stability.

Back in my day ( I was young in the 80’s ! ) a woman who settled down young ( early 20’s ) was seen as successful. You were ‘on The shelf’ if you were still single at 25!
Men loved women who liked lots of sexual partners, but they wouldn’t marry them.
I know a lot has changed, but even today there’s very few people who wouldn’t raise their eyebrows at a woman who’d had 100 partners. I think going from partner to partner is the complete opposite of ‘cool’ - it sounds depressing.

But of course you would never tell him that anyway because he might be hurt about it.

How arrogant.
Might do you good to read that if I was still with my husband he’d be raping me. Like he did when we were married. Before you worry so fucking much about whether I’m having good sex with my current boyfriend.

Goady twat.

Oh and for the record. My current bf knows that I have an ex bf who was the best sex I ever had and totally blew my mind and opened my eyes to what good, non abusive sex was.
We have talked about it.

And he doesn’t mind. Because he knows I’m choosing to be with him and that’s all that matters to him.

I also know that one particular sexual experience of his is the best one off sex he ever had. And I am not one bit bothered.

lornar123
You had sex with your Ex.

You cannot be with someone who is not as good at sex, but the only way you'll find out is if you have sex with them.
They're not as good as your Ex, so you dump them.
You then get another boyfriend, same thing.

How many men is it acceptable for you to have sex with in your quest to find the best ever sexual partner who thinks that you are his best ever sexual partner and doesn't cheat, isn't abusive and holds compatible views to yours? 1, 10, 50?

lornar123 someone leaving you for another partner is utterly disconnected from your partner having had amazing sex with someone else before you.

These are two different scenarios you are conflating here. One is past sexual experience and the other is current treatment if a present partner.

My DP has had wild sex with a past girlfriend, doing all sorts I'm not into. He's with me because as well as a healthy sex life I'm interesting, funny, gorgeous and loving. A healthy committed relationship is more than just sex.

ftfoawygtfosm apologies. I personally would not be comfortable with my bf feeling like sex with me was 2nd best. Each to their own.

Women, on the whole, want romance, love, commitment, stability

I think we need to recalibrate thinking that the only way women can achieve stability is via a relationship!

Good sex is seesntial to a good relationship.

The best sex is no reason to stay in a bad one.

You can think back on someone fondly without wanting to be with them now.

And in a healthy, adult relationship your partner can think of someone else fondly, you shouldn't feel jealously. You're in for a rough old life if you do.

Dh was married before me. I haven't demanded to know about his sex life and who is better.

My long term ex came to (and actually spoke at) our wedding. DH wasn't consumed with rage or heartbreak. He doesn't want to know (or care) what our sex life was like

@lornar123 you seem so sneery still about our choices. Throwing the word 'random' in a lot like it's an insult.

@Dione - I'm just going out on a limb here but I think @lornar123 can have sex with as many men as she consents too. There isn't an agreed limit where you suddenly check out and go 'Well you're number 50, I guess I'll marry you' it isn't sexual musical chairs where the music suddenly stops.

Good grief.

This thread has been so interesting to read!