Does anyone else just feel like crying over their messy house?

[Iliveinazoo]

I'm soooo sick of it.

We're a fairly typical household, me, husband, two young kids (one preschooler), both dh and I working.

I swear trying to clean up with kids and a husband is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I can't even be bothered to go into the mundane details of it all, but things like.

You sweep and mop, they eat one meal, you may as well have not bothered.

You clean the bathroom, the toddler goes to the loo, misses, yay pissy floor.

You wash every single towel in the house, 3 days later every single towel in the house is screwed up in a damp pile in the corner of ds1s bedroom.

You clean mirrors, windows, glass doors, one hour later fingerprints all over said surfaces.

I try to fold washing, toddler tried to throw it all around the room like it's the best game ever.

Husband 'helps' by loading the dishwasher, nothing comes out clean because guess what darling husband, plates down come clean when they're crammed in on top of each other.

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

I've tried everything, nobody notices or cares apart from me.

Yes, some days i am in tears. 3 kids, few pets. Husband is more messy than kids and he only empty the kitchen bin and recycling. I have to separate the two toilets to F and M so the girls can use a clean toilet at least. I am not prepare to clean toilet everyday on top of all other chores.

Funnily enough I was thinking today that my house was actually pristine when my DC (including twins) were babies/pre schoolers compared to what it is now. I was more motivated to mop the floor every day in case they licked it I suppose.

I am really struggling with the house at the moment. The baby throws food around a lot, the kids take ages to go to sleep, and then I can't even put the washing up away in the evening without it waking them up (our place is quite small and noise travels badly).

It's ok on the week days when I just have the baby with me from 9.30 to 3.00, but after a weekend with both children (I am a single mum) it just looks like a bomb has hit and I want to cry.

I can't see TOMM working for me as I have too much initial chaos to sort out already and no time. But does anyone have any good suggestions or tips for how to cope, or make small but meaningful changes?

There is green slime stuck to the upstairs hall ceiling in 3 places because 4yo DS thought it was a great game to see how long it stuck for.

Oh dear. My dh and ds did the exact same thing recently, at the ages of 52 and 20. Apparently, I have no sense of humour!

I have a 7 year old and 2 year old. I've seen TOMM and Mrs hinch and the likes but none of them are realistic really. What works for 1 won't work for another.

I'm a SAHM currently so do majority of housework.

The best thing I ever bought was the shark cordless Hoover. It's not the new one it's about 8 months old now. I have hard floors all downstairs and it sucks up cereal and crumbs in seconds.

That being said, the only room in my house that remains clean and tidy all day is the kitchen. Nobody goes I'm there unless I'm making food/drinks.

We have a dining room so eat in there. Lounge is the most used room so that's always messy during the day.

I try to limit the number of toys downstairs and rotate every week or so what's upstairs and what's down.

I basically potter around throughout the day. Windows get done when they look grubby, bed made and dirty washing collected before we come downstairs, beds changed on a Monday, 1 load washing per day, Hoover upstairs when it looks like it needs it and then when the kids are in bed on a night I have a quick whip round.

Well I’m glad it’s not just me. I have an extremely messy family and spend A LOT of time tidying up never mind cleaning! I’m a SAHM and people always expect my house to be spotless. It is when they’re not here. Within minutes of them walking through the front door it’s chaos. My OH isn’t much better!

I saw this thread the other day and completely related. I checked out TOMM and I think it cool work for maintenance once you get the place in order, but I am so far from that right now. She just casually says to declutter, as if it takes an easy 20 minutes. My problem is I need help with the decluttering part! I know what I have to do but it’s very difficult for me, plus I don’t have the kind of large blocks of time the job requires.

The organised mum method - where on earth does the kitchen work fit it? Loading dishwasher, taking out garbage, putting stuff away, cleaning up after dinner?

I don't understand this really.
Takes me 30 mins a day to clean the whole place from top to bottom, and I don't have to do that every day so some days I spend 30mins organising, folding washing and making the place more homely (or counting puzzle pieces to make sure they are all there)
It takes me 20 mins to hoover and mop, whilst the spray and bleach get to work on the kitchen and bathroom leaving me with just some wiping to do.
I have four mandatory things which I do every day. Dishes take 5 mins if left to soak first, I always clean the toilet at least once, I never go a day without doing a load of washing and I take the bin out every evening after dinner but before the kids go to bed.

The most Time I have ever spent cleaning a house was 2 hours, and that included the filing and dusting Venetian blinds etc. As well as normal stuff and was because I hadn't lifted a finger for nearly a week.

Maybe I'm just diluded and my house is a filth pit but I just haven't noticed??

My rules are

1. No shoes in the house
2. Only eat at the dining table
3. Older DC tidies her own toys and makes her own bed.
4. Put things back as soon as your done.

Maybe we are just a tidy family IDK?
Ex had OCD so probably rubbed off. So did my step dad for that matter.

Things that will help:

• Christmas is coming. Make this the year you resolve not to buy anything that involves a million small pieces, mess or glitter. In fact, cut down the stuff you buy altogether - you know everybody else will spoil them - and make presents more in the line of days out to look forward to etc. Obviously they need one or two things to open from you, but not 50.

• Similarly, ask grandparents etc to support you in this when choosing presents.

• Any toys etc that don’t meet the above criterion should not be easy for the kids to access. They can use them one at a time under supervision and they get put away when they’ve finished before anything else comes out. Ironically this will probably make the kids appreciate these things more, they’ll be special, and get played with properly more than they otherwise do.

• As for this emptying cupboards, tipping boxes of stuff everywhere etc, no. Just no. Firm discipline is required on this, and if they are too young or incapable of understanding then don’t make these things accessible. If they can’t get to them, they can’t do it.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you you are being too tough, they’re only kids etc. Rubbish!

Mummy’s sanity matters too, and this stuff can really grind you down. Good luck all, I remember how tough it was. 💐😊

Yep totally understand, I was really down last week about it so booked someone to come in today to clean, shampoo and deodorise all the carpets which meant I spent 8 hours with my reluctant daughter cleaning and decluttering from top to bottom. All outside bins full, bag of clothes to sell and 8 bags in the car to charity shop today. It’s very liberating!!

@bumblebee39

I remember you from a thread a couple of days ago. You posted...

19/10/2018 19:42 bumblebee39

I ignore the housework unless someone's coming round

Yet now you’re saying all the stuff you do every day. Which is it?

@bumblebee39 You can clean your home in 30 minutes

Can I be nosey and ask how big it is?

I used to have a small terraced house...2 up, 2 down sort of thing. I could clean it top to bottom in 1-1.5 hours! I would time myself...I'd clean my kitchen in 7 minutes flat which included mopping the floor and putting rubbish out.

We now have a bigger house and it takes forever. In the six hours the dc are at school, I still can't seem to get it all done.

It's spread out over three floors so it's a lot of dragging cleaning products and the vacuum cleaner up stairs. I have two bathrooms now and a very awkward shower to clean. Kitchen is huge and has dreadful shiny floor tiles which take ages to clean and smear as soon as you stand on them.

I miss my little house!

I feel exactly the same, DP and DD could make a mess in an empty room and despite DP being a grown up and DD being nearly 13 nobody helps with anything except occasionally emptying the dishwasher, I lost it last week when DD made a crumpet buttered it on the kitchen surface then put it on a plate and left the butter that had melted through but losing it is the only time anything gets done. I have 4 jobs and 2 college courses (that I'm behind with) and I can't do it all myself

It is very hard. We had a rule at one point with small children - no food out of the kitchen (there was a table in there). That helped keeping food mess aout of the kitchen.,
Shoes off before coming in the house might work in some houses too.
We tried to vacuum every day at one stage but that wasn't easy. Iut certainly is quick way to make things look good.
I have never ironed in 30 years and survived and always worked full time.

At one point we could afford a cleaner which really helped. Then the children grew up and now I have as of today not even teenagers (last two now aren't) and of course it's dead easy. So basically it's a phase. Life is hard with small children. They grow up and it was all worth it. I did feel yesterday reading my diary from when they were small that we just had far too much stuff. We had furniture in case we needed it later. We had ancient relatives giving us junk furniture we gratefully took but didn't use. Just far too many things packed into a house. Try to have fewer things if possible.

My house currently looks like a tornado has swept through it

I've had a busy few weeks at work and DH has also been very busy. We have one 4 year old who is at school but seems to make a huge amount of mess with toys etc

Luckily, the school I teach in has 2 weeks off for Oct half term so I am home this week while ds is at school.

So, starting today (once I have finished my brew) I am going to have a massive blitz - it's the only way I think! Then I will have to work out how to keep on top of it - especially next week when DS is at home!

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

Says who? Fuck that. I’ve never ironed bedding in my life.

I had guests come over on the weekend and i cleaned and decluttered like a woman possessed. Thats what I need to do...invite people over to stay!

Honestly I am just growing to accept that this is life with children . My house is only clean when they haven’t been in it for a few hours, as soon as they return it looks messy again.

I have come to understand why my DM always said my dbro and I’s mere presence made the place look untidy .

I feel like I have found my people!

3yo and 10mo here and a small house. It's chaos.
The amount of laundry 😫 We're finally investing in a tumble dryer (having to drop a ridiculous amount of £££s to make room for one) after last year during winter a pair of jeans took 3 days to dry on the airer in our stone house.

My lowest moment was when I forgot the HV was coming to do the 6mo check up. She turned up at 9am. There were dishes piled high in the sink and worktops. Crumbs and random crap all over the kitchen. Toys and clothes strewn all over the lounge and sofas after getting both DC's dressed in the morning and nappies (clean ones) covering the corner of one sofa from where a bag of nappies exploded when I opened it.
I saw her do a double take to make sure the area was "safe" and ever so carefully perch herself on the edge of the sofa I'm sure my eye was twitching as I tried to keep a cheerful facade and I was dying a thousand deaths inside.
I still have nightmares about it till this day...

*Former babe
*
Used to have a 3 bed with 3 receptions, bathroom and garden took 40mins plus a bit of preening, have downsized though so half hour is probably less than other people but it didn't take me much longer in an "average" sized house. I do Hoover and mop quickly though. I just can't stand wasting a whole day over it.

My kids follow me round destroying each room after I finish it

Ok, I have a plan: make children eat at the proper table (reason they haven't been is because table is in conservatory and it's easier to let them eat on the sofa using the coffee table to rest plates on. This means they drop stuff into the rug). And there will be no screens at the table.

Secondly: teach them to load and unload the dishwasher. Kids are 4 and 6 and my only qualm is whether or not they can reach to put plates in the cupboard. Oh, and sharp knives.

Thirdly: I will clean surfaces while they do this (and supervise), and generally pick up crap.

Fourthly (greatest cause of stress): I will fix bedtime so they don't take hours to be put to bed. Somehow. Sticker chart for going to their rooms and staying in their rooms?

Ours consistently looks like a bomb has gone off in it. When I do manage to blitz a room, DH invariably ignores what I have done, and moans about clutter elsewhere! aaarrggghhh!