Does anyone else just feel like crying over their messy house?

[Iliveinazoo]

I'm soooo sick of it.

We're a fairly typical household, me, husband, two young kids (one preschooler), both dh and I working.

I swear trying to clean up with kids and a husband is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I can't even be bothered to go into the mundane details of it all, but things like.

You sweep and mop, they eat one meal, you may as well have not bothered.

You clean the bathroom, the toddler goes to the loo, misses, yay pissy floor.

You wash every single towel in the house, 3 days later every single towel in the house is screwed up in a damp pile in the corner of ds1s bedroom.

You clean mirrors, windows, glass doors, one hour later fingerprints all over said surfaces.

I try to fold washing, toddler tried to throw it all around the room like it's the best game ever.

Husband 'helps' by loading the dishwasher, nothing comes out clean because guess what darling husband, plates down come clean when they're crammed in on top of each other.

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

I've tried everything, nobody notices or cares apart from me.

I have a GTech Air ram. It's great for downstairs (all flooring), but only good for a quick run around on carpets. I use my Sebo for main hoovering, but cordless is handy for daily vacuuming.

We have an old vacuum cleaner in the cellar. On ground floor, a cordless that lives in a corner in the kitchen. I use it several times a day because it literally takes five minutes to pick up and vacuum the whole of downstairs. It's not a Dyson, but it's like one of their stick vacuums.

Also downstairs, we have a 'proper' vacuum cleaner that gets used to go over a room including edges furniture.

Upstairs is an old Dyson that isn't very good but it's good enough and convenient for stairs.

All are from ebay.

Why does DS1 have free access to towels? He has one towel to use for the week and needs to hang it up to dry after use.

Declutter

Have some consequences for your children ‘destroying’ rooms.

Re the pissy floor, I’d get some floor wipes as at least it’s quick to clean up. Or have the child sit until he is old enough to have more control.

I massively struggle with keeping a clean and tidy house.

Dh is a hoarder and both kids are utterly craft obsessed (5 & 7). Plus dh has just embarked on a new much needed diy project. I’ve clean and tidied the house this weekend, due to pick up the kids from their grandparents in 20 minutes.

I know the house will be a tip again once they are home. I do get them to tidy up but it’s all so exhausting.

The organised mum method sounds bonkers. How the fuck are you meant to clean toilets and hoover / mop and make the beds in 15 minutes? It probably takes me 10 minutes just to sweep the kitchen.

I do 2 hours cleaning a day.

I get a cleaner in every other week to do toilets/baths/floors

The rest of the time it can fester. I have 3 young children and we are in the throes of DIY.

No time for an immaculate house but we are happy and healthy and safe

2 hours cleaning a day?! Wow.

Yes. The craft stuff. Does anyone find an easier way of organising so it doesn't mutate into a box of crap?

I get a cleaner in every other week to do toilets/baths/floors

So your bath and toilet only gets cleaned once a fortnight? Mine would be hideous after that length of time!

“It seems to hide the fact that it is the boot camp at the beginning that makes a difference and I can never imagine completing the boot camp as that is totally overwhelming and would take a month not a week. By which point I’d need to start again as the bits I tidied at the start would be trashed again.”

I started TOMM bootcamp at 9.30am this morning. It’s now almost 2pm and I still haven’t finished deep-cleaning the first room I started with (the kitchen). You’re right, the bootcamp bit is totally overwhelming. Considering giving up and having a G&T!

That’s exactly why I have never done it Crimson. I’d need to ignore my job and my family for a week to actually do it. Have a then carry on .

I didn’t bother with the boot camp, just started at week 1. Maybe I have lower standards but it all seems to be easy and much more manageable.

Rainbow, I don’t have DC either, so it’s a lot easier for me in that sense - and I’m still shattered! I will try to persevere tomorrow though as I’m so fed up of living in a messy house. I’m also considering getting one of those companies who will deep-clean your oven for you to come and do ours. We moved into our new place fairly recently and inherited a very old (and filthy!) oven.

With decluttering, you do have to time limit it otherwise it's depressing and you give up. Try to have one room that you trash as you clear. For us, it's the dining room. I appreciate that if you have a small house (ours is small but not tiny), it's not that easy.

Last time we put our house on the market, we spent two weeks clearing it. That was every evening and all through two weekends, but it looked amazing afterwards. Nowadays, I try to do a room every couple of weeks so that it doesn't take too long.

Housework is time consuming and, for most people, unrewarding and tedious. The organised mum method and others aren't magical. They're just recipes. The 15 minute thing only works if you do it every day in a tidy house. I wipe over toilets after using the first time every day so it only takes a minute. If they're not clean to start with, you'll never do it.

It's really doing what you can with the time you have. At the end of the day, real life has to take precedence, but getting rid of clutter will make every day easier.

I flipped out one day, and told the DDs that anything left lying around on their bedroom floor would be put into a black bin bag and chucked out. They ignored me, so I got out the bin bag and filled it to the chorus of loud sobbing x2. Fast forward about 17 years, and DD2 is helping me clear out the attic, and moaning about "yet another bag of wool, mother!", she picked up a black bin bag, to discover all the crap she and DD1 hadn't picked up and put away .

Lesson to be learned - be tough and mean it, but don't forget and have the same DC find the bag you'd stashed and not dealt with .

The 15 mins to put a wash on, make beds, run a bog brush round and wipe the seats then throw the hoover (cordless) across the main walkways only is easily doable. You don't need to mop the floor in that time. The floor can be mopped or properly hoovered on the days you are focusing on that room. Eg. Monday's is living room. Set a timer and go as fast as you can for 30 minutes. Then stop. As the weeks go on it gets cleaner and cleaner and easier and easier.

It does help if you can get the DH or kids to do their bit. They should be doing that really, no excuses.

The bootcamp really helps but it would be impossible to fit in with a full time job in one week. 2 weeks is achievable if you use the weekends. It's more than worth it. I feel mentally happier and more in control. Actually enjoying my house for a change.

My cordless hoover was 80 quid on amazon and worth every penny.

I like the tip about having one box for charity when clearing out and as you touch everything else put it immediately in its home.

I cheat by dumping everything without a proper home in the garage. It means that I can leave each tidied out area exactly perfect with zero clutter during busy week days when I'm finding 15 minutes here or there to do these jobs.

Tomorrow I am having a massive and very ruthless clear out of the garage.

My stbxh is a hoarder. Not being able to function in any space was unbelievably stressful.

Over the last year i have tidied and cleared out and tied out and cleared out again. This lap of the house is so much easier.

You don't need to start off by setting a whole day out. Just choose one drawer, cupboard or shelf. Go now and put 10 things away or in the bin. It will mean you have started.

I quite like the look of the organised mum stuff. I need to do the bootcamp first but as I'm only home at weekends think I'll have to do it over 5 weeks rather than 1. I've been looking at the Christmas countdown. It looks quite useful but I felt quite good in that half the tasks I don't need to do - like booking lots of Christmas events, hair and nail appointments, booking a babysitter for New Years Eve!

sounds like some have more problems with their badly behaved children than the housework!!

I am also gobsmacked a 10 year old wiped filthy hands on clean washing!
My punishment would have equalled SOYDORA's !!

I also don't understand food allowed in bedrooms, or drinks (other than water) food all over the floor after the age of 3...just teach them how to behave or they will end up hopeless adults!

My house isn't messy per se but I have older DC who are at home at different times so I never actually get a day at home on my own, like when they were all at school, to do a proper clean through which I get satisfaction from as it stays immaculate for a few hours at least. So basically I cba and my standards have slipped dramatically but they were too high anyway.

These days I tell myself homes are for living in not for showing off. It's been a revelation .

Agree that homes are for living in but it's much nicer when your home is clean. Just for you and your own peace of mind.

Feels so much better. The bootcamp was embarrassing, my house was sooo dirty 

To anyone who did the TOMM bootcamp - how did you manage it and last the course?!

As a Mom of three, I have learnt that you can’t keep a clean house single-handedly while everybody else is busy making mess. Until your kids chip in doing age-appropriate jobs around the house and your OH does some housework too, you may as well give up. You will never crack it, it’s too much to be humanly possible.

I have started to train the kids to do housework. When they were little, it was their job to put their toys/crafts back at bedtime or before leaving the house to go to the park etc. They set and clear the table (age 6), unload and load the dishwasher, hoover, hang out laundry sometimes (age 10). Seriously, getting other people to spread the load is the only way.

DH is not as easily trained. But he does all of the maintenance in the house + dishwasher, other cleaning occasionally like windows etc.

In Russia, we have a saying, It’s not those houses are clean which are cleaned a lot, but those where people refrain from making mess. Captures the issue quite well IMO.

I’m currently eleven months in with twins who are the light of my life but so demanding that I’m lucky if I get to wash the pots or put the laundry out before their Dad gets home and either does some of the chores or (most likely) distracts the twins long enough so I can get some stuff done!

I cry about how not tidy my house is, on average, once every two days - add onto the not having much time and being shattered as the Twins are teething, a rather messy DH and two cats, all hardwood floors downstairs and we’re having rainy weather so NO amount of mopping is keeping this floor clean and I’m a shivering wreck by the time my MIL decides to drop in for a surprise visit

Dontaskmyname agreed. It's everyone's responsibility to do their bit.

I don't bother hoping they will do it anymore. DP has a list of jobs waiting for him to cover the next two days! I've written myself one too in the name of fairness!

The kids aged 6 and 4 each have a laundry basket in their room and are told to make their beds. I also get them to pick up toys, put cushions in the right place and they've done the washing up even though it takes forever! They've "helped" to cook and sweep and hoover and as they get older I will expect more

Also your DH needs to be treated like one of the children. Give him a list of chores todo every week and ask him if he's done them yet.

Christ, how infantilising. How can women live with men like this? If I had to treat a grown man like this, I would totally lose respect for him. And if I don't respect a man, I don't find him sexually attractive. I would very soon find him repulsive.

No wonder it's women who are most likely to file for divorce.