Does anyone else just feel like crying over their messy house?

[Iliveinazoo]

I'm soooo sick of it.

We're a fairly typical household, me, husband, two young kids (one preschooler), both dh and I working.

I swear trying to clean up with kids and a husband is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I can't even be bothered to go into the mundane details of it all, but things like.

You sweep and mop, they eat one meal, you may as well have not bothered.

You clean the bathroom, the toddler goes to the loo, misses, yay pissy floor.

You wash every single towel in the house, 3 days later every single towel in the house is screwed up in a damp pile in the corner of ds1s bedroom.

You clean mirrors, windows, glass doors, one hour later fingerprints all over said surfaces.

I try to fold washing, toddler tried to throw it all around the room like it's the best game ever.

Husband 'helps' by loading the dishwasher, nothing comes out clean because guess what darling husband, plates down come clean when they're crammed in on top of each other.

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

I've tried everything, nobody notices or cares apart from me.

HELLO MY PEOPLE.

Oh god, my kitchen floor after the kids eat. And the state of the rest of the house. I'm basically dying of weekend here. [weeps gently into a glass of ice water because I can't have a g&t or it will make me fall asleep before I clean up]

I feel your pain.
I'm pretty laid back but I draw the line at what I call 'deliberate mess making'.
They should all be helping more and you need to put your foot down a bit maybe?

Tomhardysnextwife just another 18 years or so then, or does that include the husband too?

Yes, me.

I feel like I live in a hovel. I've spent all day washing, drying, cleaning the bathroom, tidying upstairs. Cajoling the children into tidying their rooms so I can hoover and not suck up the 1000000 pieces of lego, playmobil, knex, kinder toys, plastic shite from magazines and other assorted crap that is EVERYWHERE.

They are now in bed and while upstairs is clean, the living room is full of colouring books, pens, dolls, random pyjamas etc I cannot be arsed tidying it up, because frankly it will end up more of the same tomorrow.

It is like shovelling snow in a blizzard. And it actually depresses me.

I fantasise about sweeping everything, everything into the bin. So much stuff everywhere. Too many relatives buying toys that come with 1001 pieces to get lost and strewn around the house. Drives me bonkers.

God that was ranty. Felt bloody good though! 😂

I just looked it up and it’s utterly ridiculous

Week 1: KIDS' ROOMS
30 Minute
Cull clothes that no longer fit
Flip mattress
Hoover under bed/furniture
Dust skirting boards
Do a quick toy cull
Clean windows/mirrors
Straighten shelves/bookcases

It will take 30 minutes just to figure out what clothes don’t fit, because kids need to try the stuff on. Otherwise, you’ve already taken it out and put it to the side, so no need for “culling”

Week 2: LIVING ROOM
Shampoo rugs
Clean cushion covers

Yeah, we have pets. Custhions alone take me 30 minutes, bitch.

Ok, this would have worked when I was single and had a 2 bed flat.

Yep I've just googled it. I run a cleaning company (so pretty fastidious) but for a working mother (or the mother of young children) that's an unrealistic amount of cleaning per day!

You need to chuck your DH a cloth and a link to the organised mum method.

And I agree that it's souk destroying, but fixing it can not possibly be all down to you. Everyone in the household needs to do their bit, appropriately, of course, to keep it clean and tidy.

I feel your pain but two adults, two full time jobs, two kids and only you picking up the slack. Your husband needs to do more. Also get a cleaner for one day a week if you can afford it.

Yes, frequently! I had a look at the organised mum method and it looks good but I am only home at the weekends so I wouldn't really be able to follow it.

fist things first.

if your dh loads the dishwasher so nothing is clean, tell him, show him the gunk and have him do it again. until he gets it right. do not let it slide. not once. it isnt rocket science. he can bloody well do it properly.

if he complains ask why he thinks you should do it? why does he treat you like youre his mother and not an equal partner??

The the OP and everyone else with small and small-ish DCs. You're doing a grand job, and remember: this stage doesn't last. It DOES get better. Eventually! Just hang on in there. The days are long but the years are short.

To the OP and everyone else, I have just 3 things to say:
declutter
declutter
declutter

Just me and DH here now, but we still have:
a) too much stuff I 'rescued' from my DPs house - which we sold 20+ years ago
b) too much of DD and DS's stuff because although they no longer live at home (both in their 20s), neither is settled yet
c) too much of our own stuff because - well, just because rubbish excuse
d) we've been looking after DH's elderly parents for 4+ years and everything got out of control at home
e) FIL died and MIL is in a home, and DH now has to clear their house which still contains stuff belonging to HIS grandparents!

This last one was a wake-up call. We are determined not to leave our own DCs with the level of clearing up that DH is facing.

Oh, and by the time you are 60, you don't have the energy for all this ...

Cinna if cushions take 30 minutes, you have far too many.

And from what I can work out if TOMM, you don't do all those tasks every single week.

Worriedwombat I fantasise about getting loads of heavy duty bin bags throwing everything into them, heading to the tip and starting again.

I am fairly brutal at getting rid of stuff, but it's inevitable that you do end up collecting things along the way.

My husband is known for getting things back out of bin bags when I've tried chucking them.

I would divorce a man who would not load the dishwasher so that the dishes came out clean.

It's fucking disgusting how many men freeload off women's free labour.

FFS are women STILL talking the men they live with "helping" them with domestic labour, like it's the women's job and men just graciously help?

No wonder men rule the world. FFS.

We'll mine have grown up and partially moved out. I'm looking at the bombsite of several decades of kids, pets and having lived in the same house for 20 years. I haven't a clue where to start - the job is too big!!!

Why not take the essence of the organised mum method. Ditch the silly jobs. Who turns mattresses once a week for gods sake!

But write a list of jobs that are needed
Make a chart of dates and jobs and try that.

I have must admiRations for you that work full time tho. I only work 2/3 days and I struggle. And in all honesty it's my husband that creates mess. I know this as when he is away with work my housework is halved!!!!! Fucker!!!

Oh, I feel your pain at everything going backwards the minute you finish it. I have teens and messy DH. I feel like I spend all week getting on top of things, then when I go to work on Saturdays, they have to cope on their own for a few hours. Today, as ever, I came home to crumbs all over the kitchen floor (cleaned yesterday), a full cold bath unemptied, various cups, plates and glasses distributed through the house. Dishwasher on but presumably only washing the stuff that was in the kitchen, not strewn round the rest of the house. Sigh.

Why isn't your DH doing half the chores?

Its his home (and DC) that he should be clearing/cleaning up as well.

I hear you op. I feel the same. I have a young toddler and it's just an endless task of cleaning up after him. My DP does the bare minimum and thinks that I'm getting too stressed out over the cleaning. Ok..when was the last time you cleaned the toilet? NEVER I clean it. That's why it's always CLEAN! And you're not stressed!

This thread is giving me the fucking rage - why are you cleaning up after your lazy arse husbands/partners?! The fact they're missing a vagina doesn't mean they're incapable.

Stop being such bloody martyrs and tell them to do their share - if they get it wrong i,e dishwasher, ask them to do it again.

I’ve found my people 😭😭

We manage mainly because DH does his share. Are you the only adult taking responsibility for keeping the house clean?

My DP just doesn't care. He does clean, sometimes. But if I left it, he probably still would do the bare minimum, I think he just doesn't get as stressed out with house work as much as me. Not a bad thing I suppose. But I can't relax in a messy house 😩

Shampoo rugs?

What?

My god yes, this is me.

3 kids, a husband who suffers from depression so frequently gets left home alone yet refuses to do anything around the house. On top of that I’m in the middle of re-decorating so everything is more messier than usual.

My oh so often has whole days at home alone which is all I want to just do a complete and utter blitz of the house and I come home and he won’t have even taken his dirty cups to the kitchen sink