Does anyone else just feel like crying over their messy house?

[Iliveinazoo]

I'm soooo sick of it.

We're a fairly typical household, me, husband, two young kids (one preschooler), both dh and I working.

I swear trying to clean up with kids and a husband is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I can't even be bothered to go into the mundane details of it all, but things like.

You sweep and mop, they eat one meal, you may as well have not bothered.

You clean the bathroom, the toddler goes to the loo, misses, yay pissy floor.

You wash every single towel in the house, 3 days later every single towel in the house is screwed up in a damp pile in the corner of ds1s bedroom.

You clean mirrors, windows, glass doors, one hour later fingerprints all over said surfaces.

I try to fold washing, toddler tried to throw it all around the room like it's the best game ever.

Husband 'helps' by loading the dishwasher, nothing comes out clean because guess what darling husband, plates down come clean when they're crammed in on top of each other.

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

I've tried everything, nobody notices or cares apart from me.

I feel your pain op. I spend most weekends tidying and cleaning up after people. It's exhausting. I've tried the kondo method but my 2 small children keep bringing more into the house. I feel like I am constantly "sorting" and never get to relax in my own home.

Something else that helps is having a spray and cloth to hand. I make my own sprays, but just some water with a bit of washing up liquid will do.

When the kids are in the bath, or before you vacuum or mop, or while the kettle is boiling, spray something: the bath, a cupboard, a shelf, a windowsill, the microwave - anything that needs cleaning. After a few minutes, get a cloth, wring out with hot water and wipe. Takes a minute or two, but it all helps.

Similarly, take a bin bag or carrier bag with you when you go to do something - put in some recycling, charity donations or rubbish and get rid of it when you can.

I think that everything that leaves the house is something I'll never have to pick up, clean or put away again.

I really want to get involved in TOOM as I can never keep on top of this stuff. Its just my inherent laziness, I have trained myself to do things there and then rather than leave it for later or tomorrow. This is probably the norm for most people but not me. Still, i think TOMM will help me further.

Yes I cry everyday.And now the cat has started pissing on the living room carpet in the same place, to make matters worse 

I like unfuck your habitat, especially the tip about clearing any flat surface like tables to have maximum impact on tidying
www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/?pagenum=1&category=life-happens

Glad it's not just me.i have a 4 year old and 6 year old and I'm a full time carer for my 2 year old. So yes I'm at home all day but my youngest takes most of the day up. He's autistic and had several health issues to boot. My oh works nights and does overtime. He does help when he can but srill feel like I'm drowning in never ending housework .

Single mum for 2.5 years. Now children 5 and 8.

My house is very clean, very tidy and very organised.

How?

Brutal with getting rid of stuff
Craft? Binned unless very very special
Letters - dealt with immediately / filed if necessary or binned
Food all over the floor after my children have eaten? I don’t bloody think so. That’s not been the case since they were weaning. How is thag happening? Genuine question. If throwing, then disciplined. If over exuberance, then you need to be on top of them about slowing down etc. They’re young but food all over the floor really isn’t on after 2 years old.

My home isn’t show home standard, no way. I do clock finger prints and I should clean the bathroom floors more regularly (such a blinking faff though!). The key though, the absolute key, is to do things immediately. And by that I mean - when they come back from school on a Friday with all their school bags, pe kit etc, deal with it immediately. Post - action / bin / file immediately.

Oh another thing is that I buy flowers every week. Inspiration to have a lovely clean clutter free house to show off a beautiful bouquets of flowers. Makes me smile every time I walk past them. Try it. Costs £6 for a lovely bunch and really elevates a room.

Another one for organised mum. As much as I can. I also like her tip re washing only put a load on if your going to wash it, dry it and put it away the same day. My DH always thinks he's helping doing loads of washing then it just sat there, everywhere! Now he makes sure it goes away. I have had to bite my tongue as things get rammed away but they are away!

I feel your pain, I work 50 hour weeks and there just isn't the time. How does the house get messy when I'm hardly here?

I think it is a shame that the idea of training children has gone out the window with child centred approaches. I don’t mean harshly or punatively, but just from the beginning drilling a child about not tipping toys out for the sake of it, or smearing sticky hands everywhere. It is hard work at the start - lots of putting things out of reach, and removing small children for hand washes on entering the house, enforcing eating at the table rules - but once they get it properly, it saves a lot of work and makes them more civilised.

I don't mean to be harsh but why are people not insisting that their children tidy up themselves? If they get the toys out then they put them away, if they wee on the floor, then clean it up. I understand toddlers are messy while eating but that's only a short time. If your child leaves his wet towels in his room, get him to sort it out. You're a mother not a slave
If you train your kids to do things when they young, it's hard work but it pays off in the end.

Wonderandwander, EXACTLY. you are not doing anyone any favours by raising messy humans. Think about this way, how would you feel if they lived in messy hoarding houses because no one has ever shown them where the dishwasher was?
What does it mean he tipped his Cheerios on the floor? If the child hasn’t got special needs or it wasn’t a accident, it would have consequences.
And same goes for husbands, print that flylady/organisedmum/whatever list and share it between you. Unless he works 80hr a week and you’re PT, there should be equal split.
I’m surprised women live with men that see them slaving around the house and they dO NOTHING. If you see an old lady struggling to carry her shopping, you’d offer to help, right? Then why are you with people that give sweet fuckall about you and what example do they give to your daughters?

Food all over the floor after my children have eaten? I don’t bloody think so. That’s not been the case since they were weaning. How is thag happening? Genuine question. If throwing, then disciplined. If over exuberance, then you need to be on top of them about slowing down etc. They’re young but food all over the floor really isn’t on after 2 years old

I was going to say this. Mine are 4 and 3 and I can’t remember the last time we had food on the floor. Not since they were babies. They know not to throw food. If any gets spilt, they clean it up. They also tidy their toys away when they’ve finished. Sometimes need prompting but it gets done.
No wonder some people are struggling if they are literally the only people in the house doing anything about mess!

I hear you! It's relentless. We both work FT and she's at nursery, but within 20 minutes of being home there are toys everywhere, juice splattered on the floor, crumbs all over the rug, sticky marks on doors, and stuff DH leaves everywhere for me to put away. I just do the bare minimum most days: dishwasher on at night, unload before work, mop once a fortnight (use floor wipes in between) vacuum weekly, wipe sinks and loos every few days and chuck some bleach down. Bleach is wonderful, I use it in on the bath, shower base, kitchen sink and to clean splash back tiles. Takes all the effort out!

Yes I will add my ds is constantly jumping on an messing up my bed and chucking my bedding on the floor. My bedroom always looks a mess.

I am never going to make it to the bottom of the washing pile.

I am sick of bits being put on the kitchen island. I am constantly clearing it and 5 minutes later there is more crap on it which makes he kitcjen look a mess. The open plan kitchen means the playroom crap is constantly creeping into the kitchen space.

Sorry I haven't RTFT so sorry if this has already been said but put your energy into telling the children to pick up after themselves now. A few years of telling them should mean that when they're at school they remember to pick up their toys at least some of the time.
It does get easier when they're both at school too.
Also your DH needs to be treated like one of the children. Give him a list of chores todo every week and ask him if he's done them yet.
Tell him that the mess is affecting your mental health and you're not prepared to put up with it any more so this is what needs to happen.
Good luck

My house used to be a tip. Ruthlessly declutter. If its not there you dont have to wade through it.

I have just read that organised mum method and think that 45 mins cleaning every day is impossible for me. The 15 mins assumed every day takes of cleaning all floors, doing laundry etc would have to include washing dishes for me. That takes me 15 mins alone as is breakfast and dinner stuff. I leave the house at 5:30, back at 5:30-6 with a infant school child and 2 year old. Work full time. My evenings involve a quick tidy, reading and homework with my ds1, cooking and feeding everyone, bath and bedtime. My ds2 is being tricky at bed so usually doing the back to bed routine for an hour. Am clear usually at 8:30. I go to bed at 9-9:30. I def don't want to fit an extra 30 mins of cleaning in as that's the first break I get usually all day and need to sit quietly or can't sleep.

May try and adapt to just doing it all at weekends....

Although saying that, my house needs it. We bought a project that was filthy and normal cleaning just hasn't made a dent in it. Needs proper deep clean, repainting etc.

I'm a single mum with 3 aged 5 and under. I keep the toys in the garage and take in only one box at a time. Could you work out a system like that?

Also, Home Bargains do floor wipes 2 for £1 or maybe £1.50ish. I clean the bathroom floor with them on my hands and knees. And if I wipe the floor beneath the kitchen work surface where I cook it makes the kitchen floor last a few more days.

When I threw my stbxh out my house was a shit hole. I cant cope with the enormity of a list because it would be pages and pages long. Each night i decide on one extra thing I want to achieve for the next day. Today I'm cleaning out under the sink and the glass cupboard. That's it.

But honestly more than 2 years on and each cupboard takes half the time it did to clear it compared to the first time I did it.

Somewhere online I read about the toothbrush method. The idea that you never lose your toothbrush. It has a place.

I'm working slowly towards the while house being like that.

When my baby was around 4 months old I had a lovely tidy house and was smug about how having children didn’t change anything . Fast forward to the toddler years and we’re in total chaos. I’m pregnant and exhausted so using my daughter’s nap time to sleep instead of doing chores and our house has never been as grotty.

I used to all the time!! Both DH and I work 50hr wks plus travel so out 7-6 mon-fri and got so fed up at weekends with it all! We made a plan and after a couple of months think I’ve cracked it for us now. In the week we keep things tidy (put things away when finished, file post, clear rubbish etc) which is doable as doesn’t take too much time. Then weekends we do kitchen floor, hoover, change beds and clean toilets one weekend and the next we do a 2hr clean through. Most things can wait 2wks although they def need doing then it’s better than not getting to them for a month!

I have a two kids under three and my husband and I are both messy.

It's neverending and so boring. A cordless dyson has helped so much. Whizzing that around makes me feel so much better. The bedroom ALWAYS has a pile of laundry though and the upstairs in general is a complete shit hole. The bathroom makes me despair every time I go in there.

I hired the servicea of a cleaner, she is fab. However my dh is more proactive than you have described yours - he cooks all evening meals, stacks and loads dishwasher same amount as I do and he does all washing and ironing.we only have one ds so that is easier than a few dc.