To think DD is basically being given detention for being autistic?

[102910h]

Im a new user, I signed up because I didn't know who to ask.

DD is 12 and year 8. She has high functioning ASD but is in mainstream.

As part of her ASD she has organisational issues, struggles to record homework and often forgets books. I and her dad try to help her as much as we can with this but she still gets detentions every week.

She's been crying a lot lately because she doesn't want to be lumped in with the 'naughty kids' and she feels that she is being if that makes sense.

I contacted the SENCO and they said they can try to help with organisation but so far the strategies they've tried haven't worked out (planner, she loses it, forgets to write in it etc)

AIBU to think that she is basically being given detention because she has autism? Should the school be doing more to help?

Good grief E4 never have I come across someone who knows so little about a subject yet talks about it as if they know it all.
Kids with asd don’t choose to have poor organisational skills because they don’t want to conform ffs. It is due to a brain difference. It is possible for some children to find appropriate strategies to help with their difficulties but they should no more be punished for what they can’t do at the present time than a child in a wheelchair with a broken leg should be punished for being unable to do the 100m hurdles in PE.
Obviously school and parents should be encouraging the child moving towards independent personal management but it will be a long term goal. A reasonable adjustment for the moment for a student keen to do homework is clearly for it to be sent by email. Only a thoroughly unpleasant individual would begrudge a child with asd such a minor adjustment that is free and will enable them to do their work in favour of sanctions. Or someone thick enough to think that detentions will have any impact on what isn’t a chosen behaviour.

Yes the school should be doing more. One simple thing they can do is provide two sets of textbooks so she keeps one at school and has a set at home.

Does the school have a homework timetable?

I'm dyslexic so have a couple of issues. I found having a homework diary that listed homework by day rather than by subject helped, these days it can be done online.

School could e-mail you the homework. Tell them that this is a reasonable adjustment and you will ensure she does the work as long as it is emailed, if it isn't mailed then they cannot punish her.

Homework should be part of the planning so it is no real hardship to hand out a piece of paper with the homework written on it or allow a photo of the ppt.

As for my masters level PGCE, it is my job to get information out of my brain and into a child/students and ensure their understanding.

This has sometimes involved students lying down on the floor being a phospholipid bilayer using the classroom as a human cell. Sometimes it means emailing the homework before the lesson. Sometimes it means spending time after school explaining things in detail or supervising homework.

On the subject of detentions, a detention as a punishment for not doing homework is a waste of time for everyone, a detention with the subject teacher completing the homework is far more useful to both teacher and student.

Not RTFT, but my response to OP is FUCK OFF would I allow my DD to be treated like that. Her school tried this bullshit on day 2 of secondary school & I went straight down there to put them straight that NO WAY was she being punished for her disability. End of story. They ended up being brilliant with her & she left with good GCSE's. Time to get the steel toe caps on & fight OP.

My own ds had similar issues...unfortunately school didn't seem that keen on putting anything into place as he didn't have a ehcp, he wasn't naughty or loud or any bother. He was quiet and spent 5 years struggling through high school. Resulting in a psychosis 2 months before GCSEs and being off school for a month. (Not allowed in yet not officially excluded). His psychiatrist said it was a build up of his social and communicative struggles over the last 5 years. He's now well and doing great in college retaking GCSEs.

Do not leave it keep on being a pain and keep on fighting for what they should be doing anyway. I wish to god I had.

Not actually an apology, you see.

No, really?

I meant I was shocked by your distinct lack of intelligence combined perception that we should all listen to what think.

Oh the irony! Try working on coherent before commenting on someone else's intelligence?

You seem to have large gaps in your understanding of the issues discussed on this thread. Maybe also something of a chip on your shoulder. I find your inability to accept the use of the term equality other than in line with your own narrow understanding quite interesting.

Why not go back and read some of the excellent explanations of the difficulties a child with ASD may face in school, how support should be targeted to remove the barriers to their learning and the relationship between equity and equality?

If you don't feel able to learn from the thread, at least others may have done so.

OP, I hope you have found the answers you need to challenge the school and ensure that the adjustments are in place ASAP to ensure that your DD has equality of access to the curriculum with her peers.

If she needs to just step away from homework for a while and recover from the stress this has caused her, that should support her well-being and attainment in the long term.

What does "try working on coherent" mean?

E4.....just go back and read the thread properly when you're calmer and see if you can learn something eh?

@WhirlyGigWhirlyGig It's a difficult combination isn't it :( I can only imagine how difficult our kids find life, and school. And I totally contribute DD's anxiety and demand avoidance to the lack of understanding and support she has received in school to date. I'm trying my best to redress that now but it's an endless task.

Christ there are some goady fuckers on MN today.

All of you commenting, who don't have children with SEN, or genuine real experience of living with or supporting someone with SEN, shut the fuck up with your unhelpful, unkind input, until you've actually lived through a week ( or more) of our lives.

I bet none of you would last even an hour, doing what I have to do, day in, day out.

they probably wouldn't chicken.

My DS goes to a special school and its still bloody hard supporting him even in a school designed for his disability and needs!!

@Squidgee, thank you. It's relentless, the daily grind , the constant battles to get what DD is legally entitled to have implemented under law, but which we have to have endless fucking meetings and appeals and discussions before she got even a small amount of what she should have got in the first place. While dealing with the relentlessness of living at home with the consequences of her not getting the help she was entitled to.

It's relentless, the daily grind , the constant battles to get what DD is legally entitled to have implemented under law, but which we have to have endless fucking meetings and appeals and discussions before she got even a small amount of what she should have got in the first place.

Well we're clearly getting that wrong aren't we?

We should just tell our children it's hard but get on with it and everything will be fine

That sounds tough @SoupMode though I can imagine why she would react that way. The stress of yet another change, yet another system to try to get to grips with could be an overload.
I can't really remember how DS reacted at first. He didn;t find it easy. But he tends to shut down rather than rage when he's overloaded, which is far easier to deal with.

Well according to some posters on this thread, yes.
Obviously those of us with a gramme of compassion understand that no, obviously that's not the way life should be for people with any disability.

I'm SO GLAD ive seen this thread!!!
DS: (14) dx'd ASD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Hypermobile.
Endless detentions for failing to hand in homework. He struggles so badly he loses his lunch pass his bus pass his pe kit, gets lost in school etc. Would rather go without food than admit it. Tried to walk the 14miles home rather than admit bus pass issue. School have been giving detentions and have no online homework portal.

1xdd (11) currently being pre-screened for ASD. On her first day, i got a phone call to say her shoes were 'unacceptable' but they see no issues with her, just her shoes. Again, disorganised, gets lost, can't remember teachers name so can't ask anyway etc etc

I am at the point of refusing all detentions and all homework.
Can I DO this???

And, many thanks to MinaPaws and others who have made such good practical suggestions and explained the issues with executive function so well. I will take some of that to school next week.

Interesting - I've come back to the thread after a gap of several hours to find that E4e is still avoiding answering the difficult questions whilst accusing others of lacking intelligence. No surprises there.

But on the upside volant - they have several deleted posts to their name...

I am at the point of refusing all detentions and all homework.
Can I DO this???

Yes. The school, by law, have to make reasonable adjustments and they have not. Make some suggestions at to what you expect and put them in writing

Thanks, Sashh - helpful to know!

ARoomSomewhere as your children have ASD they are covered by the Equality Act 2010 and as as PP above said schools are legally required to make "reasonable adjustments". Doesn't sound as though the school is doing anything. Not to make reasonable adjustments can be construed as disability discrimination.

www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/resolving-disagreements/discrimination-gb.aspx

www.ipsea.org.uk/types-of-disability-discrimination