To think DD is basically being given detention for being autistic?

[102910h]

Im a new user, I signed up because I didn't know who to ask.

DD is 12 and year 8. She has high functioning ASD but is in mainstream.

As part of her ASD she has organisational issues, struggles to record homework and often forgets books. I and her dad try to help her as much as we can with this but she still gets detentions every week.

She's been crying a lot lately because she doesn't want to be lumped in with the 'naughty kids' and she feels that she is being if that makes sense.

I contacted the SENCO and they said they can try to help with organisation but so far the strategies they've tried haven't worked out (planner, she loses it, forgets to write in it etc)

AIBU to think that she is basically being given detention because she has autism? Should the school be doing more to help?

(That was to manycrisps)

That's awful, your poor child.

Definitely the school should be doing more, much much more. They should be ashamed.

Be very very firm, take deep breaths to keep calm, but do not back down, good luck.

Here here i attitudes like that make my blood boil, I guess only parents of kids with learning disabilities get it. How their bases anxiety level is so high and I see my son at school like a fizzy drink being shaken up all day, trying to keep the fizz under control all day with all the sensory. Stuff going on. Good schools should understand this and put measures in place to keep calm. My son has an ehcp and it clearly lists all his struggles
All his hw and timetable are online so we look at that every day.

manycrisps, so in your view a child in a wheelchair who dares to go to a "normal" school should be treated like everyone else, and punished for failing to stand up when told to do so? Because that is the logical conclusion to your views.

manycrisps please do suggest where my very clever dd with ASD should be going to school?

We are having exactly the same problem.

DD has just started year 7 so early days but already getting emails from teachers complaining about this.

Her school has a homework app which is really helpful but not all homework is being put on there.

Also finding she doesn't understand the homework.

It's taking her 2 hours to do something that is supposed to take 30 mins (according to the app).

She isn't able to complete it independently, so are having to help which is taking hours out of our day (we have jobs and another child with autism to look after!).

She's getting very stressed and anxious about keeping on top of it all, which is causing tears, rages, meltdowns whenever we mention the dreaded word homework!

To be honest I don't think I can cope with another 5 years of this, nevermind DD!

Bloody disgraceful.

I'd see the head of year, ask for all homework to be emailed to you as well as her attempting to record it in her planner. This sort of treatment is pretty common for children with ASD. Some people have absolutely no empathy. How could you punish a disabled child for something that happened as a result of their disability and then sleep easy at night

I have one with ASD. When they were at high school their teachers loaded every little bit of homework and all assignments onto an electronic portal. In the early years things were scaffolded and this dropped off in the later years.

BTW, completely ignore ManyCrisps, they are an ignorant dick. I had 2 SN kids go through ‘normal’ school, 1 with ASD and 1 with physical disabilities. Of course they need adjustments for their disabilities. How dare they go to a ‘normal’ school hey! All those crips should be in special schools together away from ‘normal’ kids and kids with ASD who can function given appropriate support should not have this but should be shut away together. Christ some people are complete arseholes.

Jump on this straight away. My 16 year old son had late diagnosis of is ASD earlier this year. He was excluded from his old school at the end of his first year of GCSEs. Seriously impacted his options and he only got one GCSE. We are dealing with the fallout from this and it has been horrendous. They get funding for each child-so how are they using your daughters? They are punishing her for her disability and it is wrong.

I agree with reasonable adjustments suggested on this thread. But surely all children who can live independently as adults, do need to be learn to be organised at some point. Otherwise they will end up homeless and destitute.
And I say that as someone who finds being organised difficult.

God, they sound like my dd1's school - we were in the same situation as yourself and now we have a year 11 school refuser.

Have no advice only sympathy for you and your daughter

I write homework into diaries for ASD kids, or sometimes parent send email addresses and I email them.

The teachers just need to know the procedure with your child.

abacucat Yes, they should learn to be organised at some point, absolutely!

Now think it through, this is the school who are not helping a pupil find a way that works for them, not supporting a student with issues to work out how to be as organised as they should be. Worse they are actually punishing a student they know has organisational issues instead of helping them.

There are so many ways to help, no teacher needs to invent anything, they just need to support the student in finding which of the many strategies that have been around forever, or the easily available newer ones, works best. The least interaction would involve a simple note in the register and even that would be more effective than detention!

OP - be that parent. And don't stop until the school sees sense!

Rather than call Manycrisps an ignorant, heartless, disablist idiot, I've decided to report their post instead.

OP, I also have a 12YO DD with ASD. She had lots of help last year with homework, organisation etc. but this year seems to be left to her own a bit more. It's not really working, but I'll be able to speak to her teacher and they'll help. She's certainly never had detention for her disorganisation.
Please don't accept this. Contact head of year and SENCo. Good luck.

Back to the OP, yes we're having similar problems over autistic behaviours and detentions. Not organisation or homework but other stuff. I was very upset but now I'm angry.

The Equality Act 2010, under discrimination arising from disability, places a duty on the School to ensure they do not treat someone unfavourably because of something arising in consequence of their disability and they cannot show that the treatment is a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim.

Giving her a detention is not going to fix her, they are in direct contravention of The Equality Act.

Absolutely they need to be supported to be more organised but it’s somethong that will take time. The school either need to drop the sanctions or email the homework alongside whatever strategies they are using and improving to help her manage herself. Preferably the latter if homework is considered necessary to her progressing.
If she gets to the stage she no longer needs the email back up then great. But saying she shouldn’t be supported because she will need to be independently organised when she’s older is very much like saying there’s no point teaching year 7s maths because they’ll need to do GCSEs independently when they’re older - it makes no sense.

IAcceptCookies why are you reporting someone for expressing an opinion!? They didn't even do it in a nasty way.

Their opinion is disablist, that's why.

I don't think it's the school's fault if resources are limited but it doesn't sound as if reasonable adjustments are in place. She certainly shouldn't be getting detentions for something directly related to a disability.

I think posts like many’s should stay just to highlight the attitudes some of our children face.

At ds’s previous school his homework was uploaded to the parent portal so at least I knew what it was.

His new school don’t have one but someone (a TA or the teacher) writes it in his planner for him.

Most of his detentions are for forgetting to hand it in (even if specifically asked) but we are all working on that.

Homework does create more problems than it is worth, IMO.

I wish schools would scrap it.

I think posts like many’s should stay just to highlight the attitudes some of our children face

A fair point, Alexander .

Our school is gradually rolling out a programme called 'Show my Homework', which allows parents to see what their DC have and when it has to be in. Could you suggest that the school adopts this (or another similar), system? That way all DC will have a level playing field and those that fail to record it somehow can still get it done and in on time?

Juneau we have show my homework but my son still refuses to do it, never the Twain shall meet and all that.