To think DD is basically being given detention for being autistic?

[102910h]

Im a new user, I signed up because I didn't know who to ask.

DD is 12 and year 8. She has high functioning ASD but is in mainstream.

As part of her ASD she has organisational issues, struggles to record homework and often forgets books. I and her dad try to help her as much as we can with this but she still gets detentions every week.

She's been crying a lot lately because she doesn't want to be lumped in with the 'naughty kids' and she feels that she is being if that makes sense.

I contacted the SENCO and they said they can try to help with organisation but so far the strategies they've tried haven't worked out (planner, she loses it, forgets to write in it etc)

AIBU to think that she is basically being given detention because she has autism? Should the school be doing more to help?

Oh well - at least you try!

ManyCrisps so you agree with disability discrimination because not believing that reasonable adjustments should be made is supporting it.

My child was also being punished because of simple reasons different condition.

Totally unacceptable

Teachers now write in his planner or check the has it written correctly - not in his planner it's not done. he's not in detention for losing his shoes (again) he's help with homework in school and misses on lesson a week

AIBU to think that she is basically being given detention because she has autism?
YANBU. Definitely sounds like it to me.

Homework is notoriously shit for kids with asd.
And it's not particularly helpful in preparing for the future.
I don't get given homework in my job.

Some teachers and schools make reasonable adjustments but some don't - even those rated as outstanding by OFSTED.

DS2's outstanding secondary were wilfully awful because they didn't want him in the first place (tried to refuse a place despite being named on EHCP) and justified using punishment as their only behaviour modification technique because he 'had to learn', couldn't use ASD as 'an excuse', it wouldn't be fair to other pupils, it would be wrong to make him feel different by giving support and this 'support' would be seen by others and so impede his social relationships.

He lasted 6 weeks before being signed off by his GP and now goes to internet school. The GP even wrote to the school as his stress and anxiety was clearly School related but to no avail. The LA tried to intervene to no avail. All secondaries in these parts are academies and think they are a law unto themselves. They are upfront about being discriminatory because they don't want SEN kids. They don't care that their behaviour is unlawful because they will never be called to account. The LA are ultimately powerless. Parents rightly prioritise their child mental health. His school couldn't wait to deregister him. I suspect not giving support was deliberate - fit in or fuck off.

This was about attitude (the SENCO and HT shared the views of manycrisps - and weren't afraid to put it in writing) not resources. My son had an EHCP with f/t 1:1 and top-up LA funding. The school didn't use technology or even have a homework portal but relied on a written logbook. The LSA would tell him to record homework but not check that he actually had. When he did it was not sufficient, he had no notes from the class and didn't understand what he was supposed to do.

Depends on the school. Our policy is we write their hwk in and make sure it’s stuck in book. If it doesn’t come in get extra day. If not usual punishment. Have to follow the rules of the school at some point. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Sometimes detention will be done in Sen dept depending on child.

I disagree brightowl my son will never accept that homework should be done. He sees thing very black and white, no grey bits in between so anything school related should only be done at school. He's been given so many detentions but they have no effect other than to make his anxiety worse and then school refuse. Saying he has to follow the rules at some point is not going to reworked his brain to think like an NT person.

I wouldn't go with the idea to abolish homework, if OP wants her DD to have good grades and qualifications. Stepping away from normal life, reducing participation of DS with ASD is not the answer.

OP, you need to act on several fronts:

• ask the Senco to put a new system in place for your DD that removes detentions, and assigns a TA or someone else to prompt / check your DD written the homework, but also to have some electronic way, like email to you or a n online system where it is visible.

• It is important to develop a routine, an habit to cope for life, so your DD would learn to keep on top of things independently

For books, does the school have lockers? Perhaps you could have a set of books at school and at home. Have a laminated checklist and timetable at home to be checked when making the bag I read that some keep a separate folder on the desk for each day of the week and put books and stuff there as relevant, so it is visibly obvious what books to pack.

I think with ASD some visual fail safe routines, automatic low effort instincts like putting stuff in boxes and taking that in the morning without thinking works .

Saying he has to follow the rules at some point is not going to reworked his brain to think like an NT person.

It is such a relief to read things like that. My daughter is 14 and has had OCD for the last two years. She is also very very stubborn, and some of her behaviour / way of thinking, has made me, her counsellor, and a head of year she has had quite a lot of contact with, think that she may have Aspergers.

Her attendance, due to the OCD, is abysmal. Not only that, she also lives to her own rules and doesn’t go to detentions / homework club etc.

I was in a meeting which included an unpleasant EWO this week, who really didn’t get how all encompassing OCD is. She was aggressive in her manner and the judgement was all over her face.

She and another person then had to leave the meeting, and it was only then that myself and the kinder SENCO and counsellor who were left again discussed the possibility that my daughter may also be on the autistic spectrum. Sadly really as the EWO should have heard it.

It’s all very difficult.

Not that I felt like talking to the EWO any longer. Our life is difficult enough without people mentioning legal action .

YANBU, Discrimination. They're not supporting her as they should be.

Depends on the school. Our policy is we write their hwk in and make sure it’s stuck in book. If it doesn’t come in get extra day. If not usual punishment. Have to follow the rules of the school at some point. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Sometimes detention will be done in Sen dept depending on child.

Brightowl, totally disagree. School needs to ensure the individual is having adequate support to ensure they can access the curriculum efficiently in the first place!!

I am not sure the LA is helpless. The academies have a funding agreements that require them to accommodate SEN in accordance with the law, there are legal grounds for them to meet SEN. Perhaps there should be some test cases, as otherwise it normalises discrimination by the back door.

Keeponkeeping,
DS2's outstanding secondary were wilfully awful because they didn't want him in the first place (tried to refuse a place despite being named on EHCP) and justified using punishment as their only behaviour modification technique because he 'had to learn', couldn't use ASD as 'an excuse', it wouldn't be fair to other pupils, it would be wrong to make him feel different by giving support and this 'support' would be seen by others and so impede his social relationships.

This sounds like blatant discrimination and I am not sure how they would implement his EHCP provisions without giving support??? I suppose specific examples, strategies of support were specified.. Perhaps for some schools / TA you should have specific actions written in the EHCP.
But I completely agree that as a parent of DC with ASD one have a lot on the plate and one have to pick the battles.

She's not 'being punished for having autism'. If any child doesn't complete homework (or class work) or have the right equipment for a lesson, there's a consequence for that child - they miss something valuable. Teachers have got to expect the same for all. Children with addiotnal needs should of course be supported to access the curriculum in the same way as others. Posts relating to children opting out of certain subjects or not having to do homework show parents accepting inequity, not schools causing it! Certain things take more effort for some people and it is ridiculous to try to get out of certain things while demanding extra support. Why shouldn't a child with ASD have to conform? If their leaning was being ignored or they weren't being included, I could see the problem, but theyre overwhelming provided with opportunities.

I'm glad Manycrisps post has been removed, nasty and disablalist. looks like lots of us reported it.

It certainly sounds like your DD is being punished for something she can't help and which is due to her Autism.

I have a DD who went all the way through mainstream schooling, she did well but it was despite school tbh. Until she had a formal diagnosis in the last year of her A levels, they ignored all the difficulties she faced despite lots of our input and repeated concerns.

Once we got the ASD diagnosis, they suddenly couldn't do enough, she got extra time in exams, smaller teaching groups, all sorts. She was still having exactly the same difficulties and struggles she'd had for 6 previous years, which they wouldn't address then, but suddenly they couldn't do enough.

Made me angry that I'd had to fight to get what should have just been reasonable adjustments for a student who was bright and willing but just couldn't do things the way they wanted, but could do them with a small amount of adjustments that took no real effort on their part.

But surely all children who can live independently as adults, do need to be learn to be organised at some point.

The important word there is "learn". Absolutely they need to learn. They do not need to be punished, which will teach them nothing.

If the correct support and understanding isn't in place in the first place then why should a child with additional needs be expected to access the curriculum with success. It is the school's responsibility to ensure any pupil they have has the support they need.

And I was a teacher, btw, so I do understand the need to follow the rules, in general!

Rather than punishing the girl they should be looking at ways to help, first and foremost, particularly if it's a continuous issue.

Depends on the school. Our policy is we write their hwk in and make sure it’s stuck in book. If it doesn’t come in get extra day. If not usual punishment. Have to follow the rules of the school at some point. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Then your school also is breaking the law, @brighteyeowl17. That doesn't come anywhere close to a reasonable adjustment if that is the invariable, rigid practice. Surely the school itself has to follow the rules in the shape of the laws of the land, not just "at some point" but all the time? Otherwise it's not exactly setting a great example to its pupils.

OP?

Advice as per usual from other SN mums is brilliant.

Email HoY and Senco and ask for an appointment. Tell them: she will not be attending any more detentions, until this is resolved.
It's so punitive rather than supportive.

The definition of a reasonable adjustment is that it is effective.
Adjustment that sets up DS to fail is a failure to make one, discrimination.

E4e so because our kids have ASD they need to conform to the NT world? Why can't the NT world just accept some of our kids will never conform and why the hell should they? Being different is ok and, but we should change our kids, then by that a child in a wheelchair should have their disability ignored so they can conform to 'normal'.

I'm rambling because it really pisses me off that people can't accept ASD brains are different to NT brains, THEY SHOULD NOT BE MADE TO CONFORM...

102910h
Yes, school are discriminating. They need to make reasonable adjustments, she has autism. We all have to be That Parent, it's your turn with regard to this. If things don't improve very quickly, either home ed or find a school that can support your DD.

Angelil
Why should the parents of a disabled kid have to pay for the type of services you mention? School should be making reasonable adjustments, many of which are in the simple but effective bracket like emailing the homework where parents can check it's being done on time. , not putting the girl in detention.
The sessions can also be used to talk through any problems she feels she is having in school with the staff member used as a go-between to liaise with any teachers involved - plus, the staff member is there to encourage your daughter to find strategies to deal with these problems independently

That really isn't a good idea for a lot of autistic kids, at that age and beyond that would have been impossible for mine, as would any 'talk' situation.

@manycrisps Read through most of this website, you need to learn that commenting on disabilities you know nothing about is neither helpful or kind.
www.autism.org.uk/