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Original poster

DD used the phrase "KYS" and has been suspended for 3 days?!

999 replies

olayjer · 12/10/2018 18:29

DD is 13 and said sent the phrase "KYS" to a boy in her year after he sent her an email saying "type X into the school internet" (the X is the name of a porn star that wouldn't seem like a porn star name if you see what I mean). She replied "KYS" back on the same email. The school have said the boy will be punished for the initial email but he clearly hasn't been punished as much as DD has. 3 days exclusion!?

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 12/10/2018 23:07

What is happening here is that there is an automatic default of the daughter being innocent and trying to justify her telling someone to kill them self. If they admit that telling someone to kill themself is wrong it is trying to be spun as coming from a male dominated area

Exactly

TatianaLarina · 12/10/2018 23:07

hopefully he got a harsh punishment too

But he didn’t get anything like as harsh a punishment and you’ve dodged and ignored that fact for the whole thread.

BrownPaperTeddy · 12/10/2018 23:07

But they may well have been unwell or unhappy without anyone realising

Either way, all the more reason to come down hard on sexual bullying

Agreed.

And also a reason to come down hard on this seemingly flippant craze for telling people to kill themselves - you don't know the state of mind of the person you are saying that to.

BrownPaperTeddy · 12/10/2018 23:08

But he didn’t get anything like as harsh a punishment and you’ve dodged and ignored that fact for the whole thread

What punishment did he get then as clearly you know?

TatianaLarina · 12/10/2018 23:10

What punishment did he get then as clearly you know?

We know he didn’t get suspended. Whatever he did get - detention, telling off, it was nothing as serious as that.

VerbeenaBeeks · 12/10/2018 23:10

The world has gone crazy. 10 years ago and he would definitely have been in the wrong. People want to attack girls for sticking up for themselves.Imagine the opposite, girl randomly tells boy to search name of a pornstar with a 10 inch cock. He sends back KYS which is a common acronym like PMSL or FML. I can't imagine people turning on that boy.

He IS in the wrong, nobody is saying he isn't! The girl is too though.
From my viewpoint, yes the world has gone crazy but because of the fact that people are abbreviating kill yourself to be as "harmless: as saying piss myself laughing , yes it has gone crazy if that's normal speak to be sending to each other.
Oh, and turning it round like that, I'd absolutely be saying the exact same if the boy said KYS to the girl. It's not acceptable whoever it's coming from.

BumsexAtTheBingo · 12/10/2018 23:11

He might be in detention for the rest of the year for all anyone on here knows!

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/10/2018 23:12

TatianaLarina
Other than that he wasn’t suspended.

The fact he wasn’t suspended is all she needs to know.

Its not a "fact" its an assumption.

VerbeenaBeeks · 12/10/2018 23:12

He might be in detention for the rest of the year for all anyone on here knows!

Exactly! Nobody knows. He could be in weeks of internal exclusion or anything.

pyramidbutterflyfish · 12/10/2018 23:14

OP you’re not unreasonable in the slightest. He played a stupid joke. Your daughter responded with the 2018 equivalent of drop dead. 3 days suspension!? Total overreaction from the school.

VerbeenaBeeks · 12/10/2018 23:15

But he didn’t get anything like as harsh a punishment and you’ve dodged and ignored that fact for the whole thread.

No,I haven't. As we do not have a clue what his punishment actually was.
He could be in weeks of internal exclusion for all we know.

Justanotherlurker · 12/10/2018 23:15

Who is trying to make the boy the worse culprit?

Pretty much the theme of thread so far

What the boy did was awful.

Yup it was, but it plays into my initial point, people are trying to say that the term KYS has come from a male dominated area, if you look into Tumblr etc it is just as full of it as is 4chan.

The fact the daughter knows the term is a reflection on why the boy was a shit in sending her a lame goatse, rick role, bait link.

There is no need for some of the posts here insinuating sexual assault etc and that the op needs to get a grip of what their daughter is viewing online and take it on the chin that she should be suspended.

Original poster
olayjer · 12/10/2018 23:15

@BoneyBackJefferson their head of year said he wasn't

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 12/10/2018 23:16

And also a reason to come down hard on this seemingly flippant craze for telling people to kill themselves - you don't know the state of mind of the person you are saying that to.

You’d need to come down hard on the game behind this particular instance.

Although it’s nothing new - people have always said ‘drop dead’, ‘go jump off a cliff’.

VerbeenaBeeks · 12/10/2018 23:18

Yeah, people saying drop dead when I was at high school in the 90s was never OK either.
Glad it apparently seems to be getting called out more now.

TatianaLarina · 12/10/2018 23:19

Its not a "fact" its an assumption.

It’s a fact. OP said so on page 1.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/10/2018 23:20

olayjer

Then take it further, but the HoY shouldn't be being so unprofessional.

TatianaLarina · 12/10/2018 23:21

No,I haven't.

You have. He was not suspended. And you are now trying to invent punishments for him.

You clearly do not grasp the seriousness of what did.

Thelaststand · 12/10/2018 23:21

What is happening here is that there is an automatic default of the daughter being innocent and trying to justify her telling someone to kill them self

She was innocent. The boy sent her an email trying to get her to engage in sexual harassment. You can completely side step it if you like but thankfully many on here can see it for what it is.

I can’t take any of your posts seriously just as up thread you basically accused the girl of looking at porn herself any ways. You also don’t see any issue with him trying to get her to look at porn. She is 13 I find your view disturbing

LiquoricePickle · 12/10/2018 23:23

I think it's completely harsh.

People don't kill themselves because someone flippantly says "KYS" - people who commit suicide do so because they can't see another way out, because their lives are miserable, because they have mental health problems, because they're being bullied, but not because someone replies to a prank with the equivalent of get screwed.

pleasesleepinyourownbed · 12/10/2018 23:24

It's not a flippant thing to say. It's awful. Why would she send it if she had no idea what it meant? He was in the wrong too but that is a truly disgusting thing to say to another child. I would be incandescent with rage if I thought my child had told another to kill themself. Hopefully lesson learnt.

Oakenbeach · 12/10/2018 23:26

BumsexAtTheBingo

Basically you seem to be saying that teenagers can kill themselves at the slightest provocation! The implication being that we need to wrap them in cotton wool!

Justanotherlurker · 12/10/2018 23:26

Your daughter responded with the 2018 equivalent of drop dead. 3 days suspension!?

You are hugely ignoring the political shift over the recent years, this has routes in policing dark humour, welcome to the slippery slope

BrownPaperTeddy · 12/10/2018 23:26

olayjer

That doesn't mean that he wasn't though and even if he wasn't excluded you don't know what the punishment was.

It could be that his home circumstances make it very difficult for him to have a short term exclusion - he might be in isolation within school for longer than 3 days, or we've sent students to other schools for a form of exclusion before if we know that if they're excluded at home they'll be allowed to go out and about for example.

The point is you just don't know and it's no good jumping to conclusions.

If I were you I would speak to the school. They should explain why the IT system failed on this occasion, what they will do wrt sexual harassment, sending porn etc. Speak to them about the boy, with the understanding that they won't tell you details but you might get some reassurance. I think that you will have to accept your daughter's part in this though.

Oakenbeach · 12/10/2018 23:27

People don't kill themselves because someone flippantly says "KYS" - people who commit suicide do so because they can't see another way out, because their lives are miserable, because they have mental health problems, because they're being bullied, but not because someone replies to a prank with the equivalent of get screwed.

Exactly... total over-reaction

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