AIBU re siblings etiquette at birthday parties

[dontyouforgetaboutme]

So am not sure if AIBU or the other mums. It's my DDs 8th birthday party tomorrow and one mother has texted me to ask if it's ok to bring her 3 year old - she can play with another 3 year old who is coming. Well no one has checked with me re the other 3 year old coming. It appears it's been assumed they can . I am having the party in a hall, but have exactly the right number of party plates and cups, and party bags full of plastic crap.

So my AIBU is that I am pissed off and feel like saying no to the CFs, or should I just chill out. Both parents on the scene so no childcare issue with either family I am aware of. I would never dream of assuming another DC could come to a birthday party. Am I missing something?

What BackforGood says!

Don't cave. If you do you will then piss off reasonable mum who accepted your explanation with good grace

She's trying it on op. Ignore.

I would just say ok. Seems like she has lied about thinking other child was going and this is her latest tactic to try and strong arm her youngest into the party.
Your dd will have her other friends there and will be fine. I imagine if you don’t cave the cf may well ‘find’ childcare for her youngest at the last minute or decide her dd can be left anyway.

^^This

Or any of the other similar replies above!!

Do not cave! Not fair on the other mum.
Call her bluff. She is trying it on, probably already told 3yr old she is going to a party.
8yr olds don't want little kids at their party.

I'd say 'that's a shame, but thanks for letting me know as I can now invite another 8yr old instead'

She might then hurridly back track and find her DD does want to stay on her own after all.

I think she's just trying to call your bluff. She knew it wouldn't be okay to take the younger sibling which is why she didn't ask in the first place, she planned on you being too polite to tell her no when they showed up. Now she's betting on the friendship of your daughter's to manipulate you.

@KurriKurri clever!

Don't back down, as PP said it would be unfair on the other reasonable mum. If CF mum's DD couldn't make it anyway, suddenly came down with a bug etc then your DD would have to deal with it - this is no less valid a reason. The party will probably be more enjoyable minus one attendee rather than a 3yo changing the dynamics.

I’d go for “Sorry you don’t feel comfortable about leaving DD. I can reassure you she’ll be looked after and properly supervised. However if you don’t feel that she’s ready to be left I completely understand. Maybe next year 😊”

But I’m a PA bitch 😈

Not leaving an 8 year old, I'd be tempted to tell her cop the fuck on i wouldn't have the nerve but definitely call her bluff, I guarantee she'll magic up a babysitter or decide to leave her "She that's a pity, she would have had fun but no problem"

Footballmum...that's exactly what I would say! I do love a good old PA statement!

Oh yes exactly what footballmum said

Lol eastie we’re obviously cut from the same cloth

I'm with football mum - it's incredibly rude of her 'not being comfortable' to leave the eight year old. If you want to go 'super' high offer for her to pick up her daughters party bag....after the party!

I'd send a similar response to footballmum. It's not your fault that CF won't drop and run with an 8-year old.

I think she's chancing it in the hope that you'll back down and let the 3-year old come.

DON'T YOU DARE CAVE IN TO THE RUDE CF.

Yes, I'm shouting.

Text back politely. "Oh, what a shame. DD8Name will be greatly missed. I hope you change your mind. She'll be fine without you for a couple of hours."

Your DD will live if she's not there; don't let CF mum take the piss.

"that's a shame but I can't make an exception for one as it's not fair on others that have asked. I'll send her party bag to school with DD on Monday."

Don't back down OP, I agree with others, she's trying it on.

For our schools, sinlings are fine to come for hall paries, but won’t get a party bag or extra food. For softsy, fine to come, but parents pay entry fee as for a non- party child (and no special food, bag etc). Pool parties - fine if safety allows, and you need to go in the water with the sibling. Trampine parties etc - siblings stay outside ;)

trampine: trampolin

Call her bluff. She really won't make her own dd miss out on a party.

Bringing siblings but not letting them have food or a party bag strikes me as a bad idea. Wouldn't they just get jealous and maybe even kick off?

Don't fall for it OP, she's chancing her arm!

Eh???? An 8 year old can't be left??? Don't they go to school everyday?

Why does a 3 year old child have to come???

How would a 3 year old child possibly enjoy or enhance an 8 year olds party?! They'd just annoy the 8 year olds...

oh aren't the birthday party threads just thrilling right now. I hope you don't back down. The other mum was reasonable so there will be no animosity in the playground amongst mums, but there might be if you back down!
The only sad thing will be the girls being sad, for their friend not attending/not being able to attend friend's party.
That's not for you to worry about.
Your DD will have a fab time at her party, more so w/o the 3 yr olds running around.
Her DD will be a nightmare probably, really sad that she's missing out. Poor girl with a mother that would be that much of a CF and ruin her daughter's weekend for her own selfish reasons.

i also think @footballmum 's text is the perfect response!!!!