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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breastfeeding at table

863 replies

JillianHoltzmann · 11/10/2018 20:51

Hi guys, genuinely not sure if I'm being unreasonable here.
I have a two and a half week old baby, ebf, for background.

My mum has invited my sister and I out for a meal, and my sister will be bringing her boyfriend. My mum made a "cutesy" voice and said "and you can come too, and have a Sunday dinner in the toilet!" to the baby, which I didn't understand at first, so I said why would she be in the toilet? Mum replied "well you're not going to do it at the table, are you?" And I mentioned that she'd done that.

Then my sister piped up and said my mum had covered up and i don't do that (i dont like to cover up) and that it was a bit awkward- everyone would have to move to another table.

For background my sister is pregnant but doesn't plan to breastfeed because she feels weird about it, and she has said before to me that she doesn't want her boyfriend to see my boobs.

Aibu to want to be able to feed her at the table without offending my own family- without going to the toilet (!) and without having to cover her? Which is in itself bloody awkward because I can't move at all without the cover slipping down onto her face me upsetting her.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Floaty2018 · 12/10/2018 14:53

@GunpowderGelatine @LaurieMarlow

Case in point.
facepalm

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 14:55

@Floaty2018 what do you mean compromise? Compromise on what? Feeding in public? Why would anyone need to compromise?

How do I know that people offended by breastfeeding are all around me? They're probably fine with it. In fact I'll tell you what - if there is at least one woman in the place wearing anything lower than a polo neck on her top half we can assume they're OK with chest skin, yes? We do we're good to feed.

So ladies when you want to whip/flop/lob it out do the Polo Neck Check first. If not everyone has a polo neck on you're good to go!

You're welcome

Borisdaspide · 12/10/2018 14:56

I have yet to see any breastfeeding mother and child with both her boobs flopped out, unless its twins feeding, baby only needs 1 at a time.

I was so impressed when I saw a woman with twins latch them both on without a hitch. I'm far too cackhanded.

reallyreallynow · 12/10/2018 14:57

@Borisdaspide my friend BF her twins.... did I stare? Yes I was amazed at her ability, she made it look easy!! I too would've dropped one!

Winterbella · 12/10/2018 14:58

Borisdaspide I would be impressed defiantly, one at a time was hard enough.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 12/10/2018 14:59

I think to be 100% honest that my FIL might have felt a bit awkward about seeing me feed to begin with. However, he got over it because:

  1. Since I seemed to spend about 90% of the first few weeks feeding if he wouldn't be around me feeding then he wouldn't have seen his grandchild
  2. He's not a massive twat
Floaty2018 · 12/10/2018 14:59

@reallyreallynow

Do you realise that in 2 out of the 3 messages you have addressed to me on this thread, you have been aggressive because I have articulated an opinion that you disagree with?

Example 1: "in fairness I wouldn't want to see your disapproving face, could you cover it up with a sack?"
Example 2: "why don't you compromise like move away from the table, close your eyes, put a sack over your head?"

I will reiterate - The OP asked for opinions and I gave mine. I did not berate her, tell her that she needs to sit in the toilet to feed her child, or that she was being unreasonable. I gave an opinion WITHOUT being rude to her or anybody else. You are a nasty person, please leave the internet if you cannot handle perspectives different to yours.

zzzzz · 12/10/2018 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EwItsAHooman · 12/10/2018 15:01

My FIL is a bit of a twat and is very weird about being around when I'm BFing. When he comes to visit and I've had enough of his Billy Bullshit routine I make on that the baby needs feeding and off home he scuttles.

Reason #456 why breastfeeding is great Grin

Passmethecrisps · 12/10/2018 15:02

I see I have beaten to BFing bingo. What a load of old pish “I am pro-BFing but . . .”, “taking a shit is also natural . . . “

At three week pp I was feeding my infant in a pub while managing to eat my meal one handed and having the occasional slug of wine. When ff my eldest both would have been impossible to do. I was being watched by a young man - possibly in his late teens, early twenties - who said to his girlfriend that it made him feel uneasy. All I can hope is that seeing it happen in public without me wearing some massive cowl round my neck made it a little less uneasy for him next time he sees it.

It’s not even worth engaging with some people about the whole topic. Babies need fed. The right to feed them in public is protected by law. That’s the end of the matter really.

reallyreallynow · 12/10/2018 15:02

@Floaty2018 please leave the Internet??? That's by far the funniest thing I've ever read! Oh ok I'll get my hat and coat and "leave" the Internet! GrinGrinGrin

You suggested covering a baby and compared feeding to shitting......

You also sound like you think you live in the 1930s, don't speak like this, don't breastfeed in public! You sound like you're from another era!!

Floaty2018 · 12/10/2018 15:03

@zzzzz Thank you.

Winterbella · 12/10/2018 15:03

OP, go to the dinner feed you baby and if they don't like it that's their problem, If they are rude to you then you know where you stand and it will be their loss if you choose to spend less time around them because of their attitudes.

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 15:03

And yawn at the "it's my opinion" line. Do you think that makes it relevant when backed up with no logic?

Watch this.

In my opinion men are all violent and a potential risk to everyone around them. To compromise for my sensibilities, men should go out in public locker in cages dragged by teenage boys who will one day be in the cages and can use it as a great opportunity to train for cage dwelling. This is to protect the poor women who are all definitely scared of men.

This is my OPINION. Therefore I can say it without backing it up with any fact, or acknowledging just how ridiculous this concept is.

See what I did there? I talked drivel and used "it's my opinion" to justify the drivel.

For those hard of thinking - I don't really think the above, it's called an analogy

Floaty2018 · 12/10/2018 15:10

@reallyreallynow and @GunpowderGelatine

Because you are both so invested in this - I did not say that the OP shouldn't breastfeed in public (wtf?!)

I don't live in the 1930's, I live in a world where everybody's opinions and perspectives are valued, and if you disagree with someone, nothing happens! The world continues to turn, no matter how many nasty things you spout across an internet forum.
Nod your head and move on.

zzzzz · 12/10/2018 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reallyreallynow · 12/10/2018 15:15

@Floaty2018 to tell me to leave the Internet was one of the weirdest things ever on a post, you also started the name calling? You called me a troll?

So it's ok for you to name call, shall I start calling you names?

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 15:16

@Floaty2018 no one values your opinion. You compared eating with defecating and said women should cover up and compromise. Are you going to tell us, in a logical way, why it's something you believe is so distressing that it needs covering? Or are you just gonna whine about voicing "my opinion"?

And yes I'm invested in it, as I am with women's rights to not pander to fucking morons who only sees breasts as funbags and are quite happy for them to be splayed everywhere in a sexual way but object to seeing them being used for their actual purpose

Can I ask - do you ever eat out in restaurants or pubs? If so do you also pop in the middle of them? Same thing, according to you, yes?

Nsmum14 · 12/10/2018 15:16

Don't ever breastfeed in the toilet! Feed your baby at the table. If anyone is offended, they can go and hide in the toilet till you're finished. Breastfeeding needs to be seen as normal, which it obviously is. Not your problem if others don't like it.

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 15:17

zzzzz I'm not worried, but opinions like those of Floaty do real damage to women, babies and breastfeeding rates.

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 15:18

*poo not pop Blush

zzzzz · 12/10/2018 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shopkinsdoll · 12/10/2018 15:20

Literally no one does this.

That’s the reason I posted this, I saw a women do it at our local Italian restaurant a few years ago. Very loud performance type mums. Practically took her top half off, bra and started breastfeeding. A lot few children in our party and other guests were very uncomfortable looking. I’m all for breastfeeding but come on!

Shopkinsdoll · 12/10/2018 15:21

I wouldn’t expect anyone to feed in the toilet

GunpowderGelatine · 12/10/2018 15:21

Of course she did shopkins

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