Teens, swearing and WhatsApp

[Gertiethetightssister]

I regularly spot check DD 12's phone. She is fully aware of this and part of the deal an having the freedom of a smartphone is that I can access it whenever I wish to check she is both safe and appropriate in her behaviour.

Tonight I spot checked and found a group chat in which some appalling language was used. Now, I wasn't born yesterday and I know they all swear but it did take me back at the language used by 12 and 13 year old kids, even the C bomb was dropped.

So I whatsapped the group as her mum and gave them fair warning. The startling thing for me is how easy it is to screenshot, photograph and get them all into huge trouble.

I've told them it is unacceptable language and could be very easily shared with parents and school and that they have been warned.

I know I am not BU because I could have just sent it all straight to the headteacher. But I am alarmed by how naive they are with all the scary tools at their disposal, despite conversations and all the internet safety they teach in school.

I hope they all think twice.

You messaged the group?? 😂

Your poor, poor daughter.

I doubt the headteacher would be concerned about swearing in group chats.

Your poor, poor daughter.

This.

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

wow

Ffs. Theyre teenagers, and unless its aimed nastily at someone i doubt the HT will give a shit about teen silliness outwith school hours

For swearing, this was a huge over reaction and you embarrassed your daughter in front of her friends.
The only possible exception would bw actual hate speech (n-word) or bullying. But even then you could have handled the situation a lot more discreetly.
Your poor daughter.

Oh good lord. They have been warned

Hahahaha what would the headteacher do? They are at secondary school they have 1.5 million more serious things to worry about 😂

I told my DD16 about this and she fell about laughing but mortified for your child

Good god - your have really over stepped the line - it's swear words - just words, not bullying, racist, disablist, homophobic etc - nothing truly offensive - you said you knew they used them and yet you over-reacted - maybe you need to think twice.

Oh dear, your daughter must be mortified.

FWIW if another mum sent me a screenshot of my DD swearing in a kids WhatsApp group she certainly wouldn't be getting in huge trouble.

Swearing at or around adults or in an inappropriate setting then yes but not amongst her friends.

Ohhhh I really hope you don’t mean that you waded into the group chat and chastised them.
Your daughter will probably never forget this!

Your poor child will no longer have any friends after this, and will very possibly be kicked from the group chat. How miserable can you get
They’re teens, they’re going to swear!

DD keeps coming in and saying ‘you won’t do this to me will you mum? Promise meeeee’
😂😂

You’ve got to be kidding. The idea that a head teacher has so much spare time on his or her hands that they’d drop everything over a bit of swearing is laughable.

Also, anyone who uses the phrase ‘dropped the C-bomb’ wants shooting.

Oh dear, your teen’s street cred has just nosedived. I can’t believe you messaged the group, you could’ve just had a gentle word with your dd. I have heard my ds (14) use the c-word a couple of times when gaming and I’ve shouted up ‘language’ and he says ‘sorry mum’. I don’t want to hear it from him in the house but if he uses it in his chats then that’s his private space, surely.,

Completely agree with keep an eye on your DDs phone activity.

However YABU to have reacted in this way. Swearing is not pleasant but it’s pretty normal for teens trying to sound grown up and cool. In terms of bad things that happen online it would rank pretty low.

Hopefully her friends will just see the funny side, I know my dd's friends would.

I just told my dd and her jaw dropped and she said 'she actually said that on the chat?'

But hey ho, everyone's different I guess and everyone has different ideas about what's acceptable.

Is this a joke thread?

Like others have said YABVU butting into your daughters What'sApp group, and messaging her friends to tell them off about swearing. You need to respect your daughters privacy and think about her feelings and if you want her to have any friends. She'll probably get bullied loads about this!

I hope it is a joke, because if true, tomorrow at school will be like DD's world has collapsed

Oh. My. God. I am CRINGING for your poor daughter!!

She isn't going to live this down for ages!

Oh god I can’t believe you actually messaged the group chat... poor daughter!! As long as the language wasn’t racist/sexist etc as a pp has mentioned, surely there’s no more appropriate place to be swearing than a private (ish) group chat with others who you know will not be offended by bad language?