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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

252 replies

Amgelima · 10/10/2018 14:39

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

OP posts:
RevRichardWayneGaryWayne · 10/10/2018 14:47

An old man was in his own garden, and he might be a bit foreigny?

Definitely a pedophile - call the police immediately.

penny234 · 10/10/2018 14:50

Handle what exactly?
Nothing happened ?

Mickeysminnie2 · 10/10/2018 14:51

I would teach my child to use the toilet! I would also try to dial down the hysteria meter.

penny234 · 10/10/2018 14:52

And the police would probably laugh at your for wasting time ...what's the crime miss?
Well a man walked along and made a strange noise ...
Give him the death penalty pronto !
Ridiculous

ProfessorMoody · 10/10/2018 14:52

Perhaps he heard your son pissing in a garden instead of in a toilet and was concerned that he'd done it up against his fence.

peachsquish · 10/10/2018 14:52

Why would you not tell your son to run inside to the toilet?

Finfintytint · 10/10/2018 14:53

Nothing has happened. You are overreacting massively.

ToadOfSadness · 10/10/2018 14:54

Maybe he thought you didn't have a toilet and was offering the use of his.

Mummydearest12 · 10/10/2018 14:54

Maybe your son in the bushes startled the old man while he was gardening and the old man realised he was weeing and so scarpered in cased he got called a perve ...... oh and wee inside!

Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2018 14:55

Christ on a bike. If you had any idea how hysterical and paranoid you're coming across I hope you would be mortified. An old man was walking past your garden. That is literally the only fact you know. Your 3 year old might have heard something unusual and you're ready to call the police and label this man as a PAEDOPHILE??

You need to get a hold of yourself.

OhLemons · 10/10/2018 14:57

Like some other posters I'm more shocked that you aren't teaching your son to use a toilet than anything else.

Belina · 10/10/2018 14:57

do not call the police making accusations when you were not there.

MissLadyM · 10/10/2018 14:59

Teaching your child to piss in the garden is revolting!

WhoLetTheCatsOut · 10/10/2018 14:59

How I would handle it:

  1. Teach my child to use a toilet or potty in the house, not wee in the garden.

  2. Leave my behind neighbour in peace, if he saw anything he was prob surprised to see a child weeing against your adjoining fences.

sexnotgender · 10/10/2018 15:00

You’re ridiculous. First of all for having your son piss in the garden, does your house not have a toilet. And second of all for your hysterical overreaction to a neighbour being in his own garden.

BreconBeBuggered · 10/10/2018 15:00

Okay, weird and creepy people do exist, but the chances of this one lurking behind your back fence in the hope of seeing your small son do a wee in the bushes whilst you were turning off your cooker are remote. It doesn't hurt to be vigilant, but you won't be able to assess risks properly if you're jumping at shadows.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/10/2018 15:00

but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child"

And I think a normal person would have called out "excuse me can I help You?" if they were so concerned they're considering calling the police. And peeing in a hedge when you have a toilet isn't something you should be teaching your son

LondonLassInTheCountry · 10/10/2018 15:02

Why are you petting your child pee in the garden.
Thats nasty.

Amgelima · 10/10/2018 15:02

well, clearly no one thinks it was creepy judging from all of the sarcastic comments. That's actually reassuring... I guess I was just concerned because I haven't seen my son so frightened very often. I didn't say I was going to call police to report a pervert/crime -- just a strange incident in case something further happened. The man was staring at us and I did find it odd/chilling how long he stared but glad to see people think it's no big deal.

OP posts:
Mugglemom · 10/10/2018 15:02

I am going to disagree with the majority here, but I think it does sound creepy.

LubyLoo · 10/10/2018 15:03

Ridiculous!

LorelaiRoryEmily · 10/10/2018 15:04

I can’t Understand why you wouldn’t bring him inside to go to the toilet. You went in yourself so why on earth couldn’t he have gone with you?

Mummydearest12 · 10/10/2018 15:04

Op maybe he was angry you soiled his fence..... I would be

JeanPagett · 10/10/2018 15:05

Maybe he thought it was a bit gross your son was pissing in the garden?

I certainly wouldn't assume anything creepy was going on.

MaMisled · 10/10/2018 15:07

I do the stare thing when I'm annoyed and surprised by someone's actions but too cowardly to comment. I'll bet he was just incredulous you hadn't taken your child inside to use the toilet and thought it a bit grubby.

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