to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

[Amgelima]

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

Why do the people you know only let boys pee in the garden?

If your son is fully toilet trained then he should be using the toilet, why on earth were you letting your son go do the toilet outside when you were toilet training him, were you confusing it with training a dog?

Perhaps it was a bit creepy of your neighbour but like many have said perhaps he was stunned and a bit disgusted by the fact your child was peeing in the garden because you had told him to!

Sorry it's disgusting, my friends 11 year old son, thinks nothing about weeing in the garden and she is trying to curb it. It is teaching them bad habits. No wonder I have seen various men during the day, using community as their public toilet, because hey its much easier than finding a toilet.

Every bloody day someone is writing about wee or poo

you reveal your own lack of class and education
I've got a not bad education but I am working-class scum by background, yes, agreed. (in fact, that's what I said in my first post).

But in any case I'm not sure it's all that classy to encourage a kid to piss in the garden.

He doesn't sound like a pervert to me. It sounds like he's taken against you because your child was using the garden instead of the toilet and he thinks it's grotty. As do most people on here.

The man was standing near his OWN fence. As pp said he was probably wondering why when you've a perfectly good loo your DS didn't use it. It's really bizarre. I've three sons and not ever have they weed in the garden (or anywhere else apart from a loo).
What happens when your DS does it in the school playground, are you going to say, oh well they do it on Supernanny!

Telling boys that it is OK to wee in the garden is the reason why grown men see nothing wrong in peeing in public whereever and whenever it suits them.

Your behaviour is far stranger than your neighbour's, IMHO

Why didn't you just say hello to the fella?

I genuinely don’t believe your three year old used the phrase “funny language”. Even you said he wouldn’t know what that meant.

I see nothing wrong with peeing outside. We farm and find it odd when men visiting from the city come inside to use the loo - like our bushes are not good enough for them! I want to chase them out with a rolled up newspaper.

Bloody disgusting.

FGS calm down about the wee in the garden!!!! It's hardly the crime of the century. Its getting worse on here people jumping on the op. At the end of the day she was asking for perspective not to be verbally abused . OP I would just keep an eye on things, doesn't sound sinister at the moment. However I can understand your alarm due to your ds reaction.

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Oh, for heaven's sake. Massive over-reaction coupled with cutesy twee language ("make a wee").

He 'made a wee' ? Never heard anyone say that before!

Could you get a 6' fence along the back if you don't like neighbour or some trees/bushes?

Nowonder city centres have to install pop up urinals for the men in city centres, who were probably taught at a young age that they can pee where they want.

The problem is that a young child wouldn’t know where to draw the line. I can imagine him getting into bother for peeing in the playground when he starts nursery/school.

Im sure none of you pearl clutchers have a cat or a dog that urinate/defecate in your garden/your neighbours gardens/the local park.

Nope pets are litter trained. Even when they're in their own garden they come back in to go in their tray.

I think the man was probably astounded your child was having a wee in the garden and was too shocked to say anything.

What's the obsession with the child peeing in the garden? The op's point has been missed by most.
Maybe the neighbour issue is a tad creepy but maybe just saying hi would have resolved any worry as I'm sure the neighbour would have spoke to you and you would have been reassured.
As for peeing in the garden, my husbands grandad used to send him to pee outside as a child and he will still occasionally go out back now as an adult rather than up the stairs, much to my disgust

Sometimes I wonder if being on here is for me, but posts like this are why I'm here. Honestly he must be a creepy neighbour because your son can't have a piss indoors? And must of been ogling him ?

Jesus Christ take the wheel.

Where did your son wash his hands? Yuck! As others have said, he will repeat this behaviour in nursery or at a park. It is lazy. And I had small boys too. Incidentally my son went to an 18th birthday party during the Summer and two boys were sent home by the hosts for peeing in the garden. Most people use a loo once they are able to do so.

OP I think it sounds creepy. There was no reason for him to speak to your son. & even if he did so innocently then why didn't he just say hi when you came out? What's with the staring you down?

Maybe he was telling your son not to pee outside. I know some posters are pearl clutching at the thought of a little boy peeing outdoors, but it does happen.

The point is you don't know what he said, and he's scared your son. Just keep an eye out for any further odd behaviour.