to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

[Amgelima]

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

@Mugglemom Creepy? Really? Put yourself in the neighbour's shoes. He's in his garden minding his own business when he hears a noise. Look over the fence to see OP's son weeing. Moves away quickly out of fear of being accused of being a paedophile looking at a boy's genitalia by hysterical mother.

Maybe your son is getting his attitude from you ??

Maybe the.old man thought it odd you didnt wave and say hello and were obviously trying to intimidate him ??

Chances are he just tried to tell him not to piss in the bushes, which is what 99% of people who saw a kid pissing in public would think but not say.

Maybe your neighbor was just stunned you had your son going to the toilet in the garden and was left speechless. I think I would be!

Off topic but I'm impressed at a three year old using the word "language."

And about my son, he is fully toilet trained and does use the toilet and stays dry with very few issues for day and night although he occasionally needs a reminder when he is busy playing... When he was potty training I would sometimes take him outside to reduce the indoor mess.. and after that I've occasionally allowed him to go outside if it looked like he had been holding it for a long time. Interesting that none of you would allow your small child to ever pee in your own garden, as I've known a number of mothers who have had their small boys do that.

One of my neighbours is registered blind amd does tthe slow walking / staring thing.

Why would boys need to piss in the garden? Girls don’t, they can manage to go to the bathroom like civilised people.

Bizarre.

You'd feel at home in our village OP. Recently there was a post put up on the village neighbourhood watch page telling people to be on the lookout for "a man in a funny hat" behaving strangely. On further investigation, the strange behaviour seems to have been "wearing a funny hat" .

Also, for people who didn't read my post clearly.... my son was far away from the neighbours fence (did NOT pee on neighbours fence) and the neighbour was not minding his own business -- he was standing up against our fence and looking over into our garden.

What do you think, mums?

Are dads and people without children allowed to answer?

Chances are he just tried to tell him not to piss in the bushes, which is what 99% of people who saw a kid pissing in public would think but not say

This, anyway ^

Your child should have used the bathroom. It’s inside your house...

How about teaching your child to use a toilet or potty if he is struggling to make it in time instead of using the garden. Here have a

The man was looking over the fence because he was amazed at such uncouth behaviour.

I would think the elderly neighbour was giving you the disgusted "dirty-cow-letting-her-child-do-that" look.

You are raising the next generation of blokes that thinks it's ok to pee in public because they're too lazy to hold it in or find a toilet.

Are you joking? The man was probably telling him it is disgusting to just wee in bushes if there is another alternative (like you toilet in the privacy of your own home OP!). I once saw my neighbours line their three boys up to take a piss against a tree in their garden. Yes I stared and made disgusted noises because I was flabbergasted.

OP, don’t you worry that one day if he’s at his friends, playing in the garden he’ll forget and just whip it out and start pissing in the bushes?

That’s disgusting behaviour- don’t teach your son to piss in outside areas, he’ll grow up and graduate to pissing in doorways when drunk.

The guy was enjoying his backyard and was probably hit by the smell off piss. Disgusting.

All the man seems to have done is seen your son weeing and has either made a noise or tried to talk to him.

Maybe he wanted to tell your son weeing in the garden, when there is a toilet available to use inside, is quite disgusting. It should be you teaching him that though, incase you weren't aware.

I have two boys, neither have ever gone for a wee anywhere other than where they should. There is never a time when it would have been easier to use the bushes in our garden than to go in the house. Do you also wee in the garden?

I would handle it by probably making a brew and then watching something on TV. The Chase or something like that.

I like The Chase.

Maybe he was just looking over expecting you to say hello to him/introduce yourself?

Were you both just staring at each other? Or did you wave/smile and he didn’t reciprocate?

If you were suspiciously staring at him then he may have just been looking back and thinking “Eh? Why is she looking at me like that?”

He then may have seen you look into his garden. I can see how he could be paranoid too tbh.

Made a wee?
I’ve never heard that expression before.

If the man was staring, he was wondering what the hell is wrong with the neighbours who have just moved in. Yes, your garden so you can let your child piss there if you like, but it really isn't a commonplace thing to do. (The phrase, "you don't shit on your own doorstep" springs to mind.)

Also, you say he was "staring" - presumably you were looking back at him, so perhaps he was wondering why YOU were staring?

The grown-up thing would be to go round, knock on his door and introduce yourself.