to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

[Amgelima]

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

Maybe your neighbor was just stunned you had your son going to the toilet in the garden and was left speechless. I think I would be!
This ^^. Seriously, can your child not manage to run indoors to the toilet? What's he going to do when he starts school, pee in the corner of the classroom?

You’re being hysterical.

And you need to teach your son to pee in toilets.

There’s no need to raise yet another generation of men who think it’s acceptable to pee in the streets

@

You actual need to catch a grip.

And make your son use the toilet.

Can't get over the weeing in the garden.

I would stare if I saw something so disgusting. Sorry!

How high are your fences?

I'm not sure if the police have time for looking into an 'old man, in his own garden looking over the fence' but if it makes you feel better, go for it.

Can’t see how a child peeing in the garden is disgusting, or smelly for that matter. Otherwise it would also be disgusting and smelly for dogs/cats/foxes/hedgehogs to pee in the garden, and yet it’s considered normal. So I think everyone should cut the OP some slack on that. I doubt the neighbour is a perv, but he could well be a judgmental old sod.

Seeing as your son said there was another little boy there, any chance the man was talking to him??

I dont get the outrage at the peeing in the garden either, he's only 3, perhaps he's not that reliable yet? Better a quick pee in a bush than wet pants/trousers. I very much doubt peeing in the garden at such a young age turns kids into the street pissers in the future - certainly hasnt happened with my girls. I'm withholding judgement on the neighbour until/unless he becomes worth watching.

My BIL allowed his 2 kids to piss in my garden. Arsehole.

I have two boys ,now teenagers and I would not have encouraged weeing in the garden. When it was summertime and we were potty training them ,if they were playing and had a wee, no problem but to tell them to go to the bushes is gross. I cant wait to read your next post about how unreasonable you think the nursery is, for not letting your DS wee in the playground. Very odd

He was probably shocked that the kid was pissing in the garden?

Anyone else's working-class hackles raised at 'Mama'?

Mama is a bit grim.

You said you haven't lived there long, perhaps he didn't know his old neighbors where gone and he was wondering who the heck you are. Maybe he is confused, maybe he didn't like the look of you, maybe he disapproves of children pissing in the garden, which knows? But he didn't do anything wrong.

@MakingMammeries - the difference between pets and wild animals peeing outdoors, and children doing it, is that there is usually a better option for the child and the child can be taught to use the toilet or potty.

And if small boys are taught that it is fine to pee outside, when there is a toilet within easy reach, they may grow up to be men who think it is fine to piss outside - which is disgusting.

And yes - I have sons, and all three were brought up to know that it is rude and disgusting to pee outside, and that the loo is the proper place for it, unless one is genuinely caught short, with no toilet nearby.

I imagine that the man was simply grossed out by hearing someone pissing in the garden.

I've never heard of someone making their child wee in the garden.... maybe your neighbour thinks you're the weird one

Oh dear me, where to start.... Your worry that this man is some sort of pervert or paedophile is based on absolutely no evidence at all. Old man in his own garden who made a noise of some sort (could have been anything) then said something your 3 year old son could not understand - and you are considering calling the police?! God help us. Also, I would suggest if your son is in the garden at home and needs the loo that it's probably best practice for him to go inside to the bathroom. Not because he is in danger from your scary noise making neighbour but because that's just normal behaviour. Until what age are you planning to let him just piss all over the garden!?

Interesting to see the comments about my son calling me "mama". Working class? Sorry, but you reveal your own lack of class and education by showing such an ignorance of cultural differences.

I'm impressed by your 3 year old's vocabulary but not his toilet habits and its 'have a wee' not 'make a wee'

You encourage your 3 year old to use your garden as a toilet? That's beyond grim.

Maybe your neighbour thought this behaviour was as gross as we all do...

Maybe he was worried about the little boy left on his own in the back garden with his trousers down?

We had a wee tree (actually a bush) when mine were tiny. Nowhere near as disgusting as all the neighbourhood cats that used to get in and take a shit.

Im sure none of you pearl clutchers have a cat or a dog that urinate/defecate in your garden/your neighbours gardens/the local park.

@volant you may have a point.... if I stood in the garden with my trousers down people might stare ...I wouldn’t assume it was sexual ...

When he was potty training I would sometimes take him outside to reduce the indoor mess

Bizarre.

Poor old neighbour being labelled a perv for absolutely nothing.

It's your behaviour that was odd, not his.

You could go in the house to turn the oven off, but couldn't take the child in with you to use the loo?

How is that creepy?
he was in his own garden, probably wondered why your ds was pissing in the garden, rather than the toilet.