Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

240 replies

Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:29

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 11/10/2018 19:54

It continues to be a mixed bag doesn't it but it seems there is a 4 way split:-

  • buy me anything and I'll be happy
  • buy me anything as long as it's x, y or z (and no one agrees what these are 😂)
  • pool resources and buy something i actually want / need
  • please don't buy me anything - I buy myself what I need.

Given options 2, 3 and 4 mean avoiding all but very specific token gifts, I'd say the consensus is steer clear!

OP posts:
Bloomcounty · 11/10/2018 20:01

That's the beauty of humans! We're pretty unpredictable, unless you're my mil in which case I'm getting a teapot for Christmas!

surferjet · 11/10/2018 20:04

Wow Bearbehind you’re not just a one trick pony. This is actually an interesting thread Grin

Jeanclaudejackety · 11/10/2018 20:07

I always like a bottle of wine under 10 pounds, or a lilyflame or small Yankee candle, nice chocolate, cute socks from topshop or the like, a reusable coffee cup or bottle, a ten pound book voucher maybe. I'm easily pleased but I know lots on here wouldn't touch a bottle of prosecco, cheap wine or candles and don't eat treats so no idea what people buy them haha

RoseMartha · 11/10/2018 20:09

Yes because you can get a voucher or a book or some nice smellies or some nice socks or slippers or wine or something towards a hobby.

To me though I would not receive a £50 gift from anyone who gives to me as out of their budget. The most money spent on me from one person would be my mum at abt £30.

I think it depends on your lifestyle and the lifestyle of those people who buy you a gift.

To me it is the thought that counts, not how much is spent. A token gift to me would be a bottle of bubble bath for £2 for example. But that doesn't mean I would not appreciate it as much as something bigger.

Jeanclaudejackety · 11/10/2018 20:10

Also supermarket pj's and slippers I always love but when I mentioned this to a colleague she was Hmm and said who wears Pyjamas under the age of 70. Er... Me

Original poster
Bearbehind · 11/10/2018 20:35

Lol surfer! 😂

Which camp are you in?

Do we actually agree on something?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 11/10/2018 20:44

To me though I would not receive a £50 gift from anyone who gives to me as out of their budget. The most money spent on me from one person would be my mum at abt £30.

I'm not talking about

  • a choice between receiving a £10 gift or a £50 gift from the same person

Or

  • the option of receiving 5 x £10 gifts and not giving anything in return

Or

  • just one person you exchange token gifts with if the cirmstances arise one particular Christmas

I'm talking about family members, so multiple people every single year:-

  • each buying everyone else a £10 present and each receiving the same number of presents in return.

Or

  • each buying 1 person a gift to the value of £10 times the number of individual gifts they would otherwise buy

Or

  • agreeing the gift exchange is a bit pointless.
OP posts:
surferjet · 11/10/2018 20:56

The token present very much depends on what it is. If it’s just your bog standard toiletry set from boots ( absolutely no thought gone into it whatsoever ) then I’d rather people didn’t bother. But if it’s a beautiful broach picked up at a trendy market stall ( that they know I’d love ) then great!
It’s all about thought & effort.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 11/10/2018 20:59

So you're option 2 on my list surfer - buy me anything as long as I like it! 😂

I do see where you are coming from, but I just don't think it's practical to do that year in year out for multiple people.

OP posts:
surferjet · 11/10/2018 21:04

True. But I love Christmas and I do spend a lot of time trying to get the presents just right.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 11/10/2018 21:10

The irony is, I love Christmas too!

I just think the ritual of having to buy several people a gift for the sake of it and getting the same in return is pointless.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSevillle · 11/10/2018 21:11

I also love Christmas but presents for adults are not part of that. I like all the food and drink, time off work, being with family and friends, the tree, going for walks, lazing in front of the TV. Presents don't come into it at all.

HomeMuffin · 11/10/2018 21:12

Can you do secret santa and have a budget?

surferjet · 11/10/2018 21:15

I just think the ritual of having to buy several people a gift for the sake of it and getting the same in return is pointless

Agree.

AvoidingDM · 11/10/2018 21:29

Bearbehind your post at 19.54 summaries the thread perfectly.

The odd one off £10 gift does go down really well when it hits the undefined xyz spot. But generally they are more misses than hits!!!

There is a reason charity shops hit saturation point in January.

HarrySinger · 11/10/2018 21:29

I just think the ritual of having to buy several people a gift for the sake of it and getting the same in return is pointless. And I think that's what a lot of people are thinking but the retail sector aren't so keen so they keep selling us this Christmas present heaven - which many people feel is closer to hell.

LostPlatypus · 11/10/2018 21:39

My present budget is always about £10 per person even for family (can't afford any more) so I have to think of things at that price. There are loads of things I can think of that I would both give and like to receive. If I get stuck I'll give vouchers because then I know they'll get used (always chosen to fit the person of course) or do something like a Biscuiteers gift because it's edible but something a bit different (has gone down very well both times).

VanGoghsDog · 11/10/2018 21:51

or do something like a Biscuiteers gift because it's edible but something a bit different (has gone down very well both times).

But, their single biscuit is £7. For ONE biscuit.

I mean, I got my niece a box of them with her name on as part of her birthday present, they looked cool, but I don't think I could give someone ONE biscuit as a present (I have also eaten them, they're not that nice really). You might as well make some biscuits and at least give them a dozen!

YoThePussy · 11/10/2018 22:12

One of the best presents I received last Christmas was the Countryfile calendar. I had mentioned to my aunt that two of the photographs in it were local to where I used to live. It was a wonderful surprise to be given one of my own. Also is under £10 and some money goes to Children in Need so win win in my opinion.

Maccycheesefries · 11/10/2018 22:25

The entire maccycheese clan & friends of one of our relations will be chipping in to buy him a cruise ticket for his 50th. We've all decided to pool the money that we'd have spent on 50th birthday themed tat to buy him this trip instead. So far 100 people have chipped in various amounts from £5 to £200. I do think this is a better use of money rather than wasting cash on lots of small token gifts.

LostPlatypus · 11/10/2018 22:34

You might as well make some biscuits and at least give them a dozen!

I agree with you, but since I have no oven and the gifts were to family living over 100 miles away, I couldn't exactly pop 'round with something nice and homemade. They also fit through the letterbox, which helps. I mean I'd love to have given more than one biscuit, but since it's a decorated, personalised, biscuit rather than a random Hobnob shoved in an envelope I figured it was worth the money. Would I give it to the same person again? Probably not, but as a one off it worked for difficult to buy for people.

The other thing to bear in mind is that I actually can't club together with anyone to buy gifts, so people either appreciate what they get or they don't get anything. I'm totally open to feedback/hints though because I don't want to get someone something they'll hate or won't use.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 11/10/2018 22:48

Depends what the token gift is - I appreciate anything that is given to me and I show gratitude, however I do prefer things that I'll use as opposed to 'clutter' - pink gin, archers, nice shower gels, jarmies, socks, a nice diary or clothes - especially jumpers and leggings. We don't drink wine, I can't use certain bath products and I don't like dust-gathering clutter so would say thank you but regift or another opportunity.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 11/10/2018 22:51

We always ask what people would like as gifts too, saves the wondering of what to buy and saves the waste of something unwanted. Win win.

HarrySinger · 11/10/2018 23:28

We always ask what people would like as gifts too, saves the wondering of what to buy and saves the waste of something unwanted. Win win. But I always wonder why you don't just buy what you want for yourself rather than getting other people to buy what you want for you and you doing the same for them! What am I missing here?

Swipe left for the next trending thread