To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

[Bearbehind]

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

I'm pretty fussy. I like flowers & booze & chocs but otherwise I'd rather either get a big present if it's something I'll like or just have a voucher to put towards something.

But I always wonder why you don't just buy what you want for yourself rather than getting other people to buy what you want for you and you doing the same for them! What am I missing here

I agree. For adults, in most cases there seems to be little point in exchanging significant gifts, especially amongst people who don't know each other well.

There's so much waste and angst about presents that are too cheap or too expensive or not to taste etc and seeing as the only way to overcome this seems to be providing very specific lists, I'm wondering if the solution for adults is that everyone buys themselves a present. A lot of people seem to do this covertly anyway - come Christmas, a lot of the 'gift angst' threads will include comments from people who chose, bought and wrapped their own gift from their DH etc, which is totally pointless.

You get to set the budget and buy exactly what you want and you can still unwrap it, and talk about it when people get together at Christmas and there won't be a load of stuff sent to charity shops or sitting unused in cupboards for months on end like what I got from MIL and SIL last Christmas.

Personally, I don’t mind consumable token gifts. I have a couple of friends that I don’t necessarily give gifts to, but when we have a pre-Christmas get together I take along some festive home baking (having established a long time ago that they actually like my baking, before the “home baking is disgusting” crowd pile on). I would never expect anything in return, it’s more of a hostess gift so it doesn’t place pressure to reciprocate. We tend to take a cake/pack of biscuits/bottle to each other’s houses year round anyway.

For family I’d far rather I was asked for ideas/my tastes taken into account. Last year I got soap and glory sets that cost £10-15 each from both my parents and PIL - I can’t stand the smell of soap and glory stuff and if they had asked DH (or me, for a novel change of pace) he’d have been able to say that there was a nail polish I really wanted or hand cream that I really like. It took my mum and dad a couple of years to see that I wasn’t taking the piss when I said “new socks please” when they asked me what I would like .

So I quite like token gifts provided that they’ve taken my actual likes into account.

HarrySinger I don't always buy what I want for myself when I see it because I don't have the spare money and it will be something I would like to have but don't always need - I am talking about items like a £10 hardback book. That is what Christmas presents are for. Aren't they? I have money I put by for Christmas but what I have to spend will be less than my mum (for example) has. If I just bought everything I want when I see it I would not have any money left to save for Christmas or even pay the bills. Christmas pressies (to me) are items you would like but aren't really needed but would be a nice treat and would give me (or the person receiving the pressy) pleasure.

bookmum I guess that's another reason why I disagree with token presents.

The £50 you'd spend means a lot more to you than the same amount spent by your Mum.

As so many other people have said it's not the amount spent but the thought. I'm one of those people who is happy with a new book/bottle of wine/nice candle but would feel that a Baylis & Harding set etc. was really thoughtless.

Last year my PILs outdid themselves and bought me a really budget loo brush and bathroom bin. I have no idea why. I had a newborn at the time and was therefore probably a bit overemotional but found it incredibly thoughtless and upsetting.

My family dont do big as such, around the £10-£20 mark for each other.

I dont think its "token gifts" though as theres at least 20 of us at Christmas.

The kiddies in the family get more spent of them...

I like loads of small things rather than a large gift...

Socks
A mug
A calender
A diary
A book
Smelly set
Hairbands
Art and craft bits

Not for me but i wouldn't buy things like Nail varnish and Make up for others too

I WOULD but things like nail varnish and make up

I guess one of the things that makes the secret Santa, pulling together for gifts. Is the other family dynamics. The original question is would you prefer 50 x £10 gifts or one £50.

I'm assuming those 5 gifts are from 5 separate households, ie older parents, adult siblings, older aunties etc. Another way to do it is to buy for a couple or household, so instead of you and DH both getting £10 it might be better to get one £20 gift between you, which adds in the options of more expensive bottles of spirits, set of glasses and other household items.

Socks
A mug
*A calender"
A diary
A book
Smelly set
Hairbands
Art and craft bits

See, I'd hate any of those. I do read but mainly on my Kindle and noone seems able to buy a book of enjoy. My sister once gleefully gave me a book by one of my favourite authors, which was fine but it wasn't new or anything and obviously I had read it.

Don't use diary of calendar. Ex used to give me both ever year, never seemed to notice they just sat in a pile next to my bed unused.

I have short hair. I don't want random mugs. I like the mugs I have. Smellies, nope. Socks are OK but I have trillions.
I don't know what arts and crafts stuff is but doubt I'd want it or I'd already have some.

Chocolates is fine. I can just eat them.

Oh god I hate Christmas!!

I would much rather have a bottle of chardonnay and some maltesers, than an expensive gift I don't want.

Someone bought me an 'experience' several years ago. I flat out didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, I had never mentioned wanting it, I dreaded it for the 3 or 4 months leading up to it, and I hated every second of it when I did it. They paid around £179 for it.

I'd rather have had £180-200 worth of high street vouchers tbh!

Same here Van

I also only read on kindle and am likely to have already read any books by a favourite author, not that kindle books are suitable as gifts really, unless as Amazon vouchers.

I do like a calendar, but a very specific one, that I always buy when I see it, to make sure I get it.

I have plenty of mugs, a ridiculous number for a 2 person household that receives very few visitors. They seem to breed because people seem to think they make a suitable gift and clearouts and breakages don't even seem to keep the numbers in check.

If anyone bought me hairbands as a gift, I would find it very hard for my face to not look like and .

I always put some hairbands in my sister and niece's stockings, they both have long thick hair and I know the things break and get lost. Niece is brassic so for her it's ok. For sister it's more just a stocking filler.
But it's not a gift as such.

I'd like nail varnishes but even those it's hard for people to know what colours I have and what I like. I hate glittery ones and not even very keen on shimmer, mainly like classic sheer sheen ones, like navy, dark grey, dark red, purple, turquoise.....or nude colours. All of which, funnily enough, I already have!

I think this is divided by age. I don't want cheap gift sets of toiletries I won't use, because I am 62, or cunning knick knacks I shall have to hide or dust. I don't want people dictating things I have to live with. If you know me well, and have heard me express a wish for an item to read a book, to try a beauty product I'm happy to find it in my Xmas stocking. But the box set of a TV programme I wouldn't watch tied to the sofa might get you the fluorescent KIm Kardashian contouring palette next year!

I think this is divided by age

I'm not so sure, I wonder if it's more to do with disposable income.

If I want something I generally buy it so there's never really anything 'token' I'd like as a gift.

Several posters on here have said they are on a low income and would be grateful for any gifts.

The trouble is that misses the point that they'd have to buy the same in return and takes me back to 'wouldn't it be better to buy a group present you need or nothing at all'