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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

240 replies

Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:29

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 19:07

dogstar I love that - it makes perfect sense to me.

OP posts:
TruelyTruelyScrumptious · 10/10/2018 19:55

I can't think of any £10 or £50 item that I need or want. I urge people to keep their cash and spend it on themselves.

Wine, biscuits , olive oil, jam etc- that is just giving someone their grocery shopping as a gift- like giving a tin of tuna. Really odd.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 20:09

That's where I'm at truely

I can't think of anything I'd want that cost £10 that I wouldn't buy myself.

Let alone several things every single year.

OP posts:
PurpleShepNeedsToGoToBed · 10/10/2018 20:17

Gosh I'd love 5x£10 presents Blush

I'm so skint literally anything from fancy tonic mixers (4 wee bottles for £3.29) to chocolatey biscuits to bloody new tea towels would be good

(I feel pathetic now)

Original poster
Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 20:20

But purple the whole point I'm trying to make is that you'd have to give 5 x £10 presents in return.

So wouldn't you rather either not exchange any gifts and do something more productive with the money.

OP posts:
HelloViroids · 10/10/2018 20:22

There are things I can afford but wouldn’t buy myself. BIL and SIL got me salted caramel sauce with gin last Christmas - bloody lovely! But so indulgent I never would have thought to put it in my own basket just for me.

greendale17 · 10/10/2018 20:23

£50 gift for sure

legolimb · 10/10/2018 20:24

No. I'd rather not have gifts at all.

I am very picky and hate having clutter. If I want something I prefer to choose my own so I may as well buy it myself.

Our family has almost done away with adult gift giving but not everyone plays by the rules.

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2018 20:26

I'm always happy to receive food.

AgnesBrownsCat · 10/10/2018 20:30

I’d hate either so I just don’t bother . I only buy presents for two people apart from parents and my own children .
I’d rather spend my own money on myself than spend precious hours and money on stuff for other people which they may or may not like which may or may not be returned . Feck that ! We need to take more responsibility for the consumerism attitudes that perpetuate in society today .

Everyoneiswingingit · 10/10/2018 20:52

Yes a £10 bottle of wine would be welcome or a nice hand cream or shower gel.

Everyoneiswingingit · 10/10/2018 20:54

Truley but I don't buy luxury things usually so it would be a treat.

KatiebEnson · 10/10/2018 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

speakout · 10/10/2018 21:36

It's symbolic though.

The adults in our family give token gifts at christmas it suits OH and I well, there is nothing I need or want.

Not into "stuff".

DwangelaForever · 10/10/2018 21:43

All I ever ask my mum for at Christmas is a new pair of pjs, a new pair of slippers and a dark chocolate orange (considering asking for mint lindors this year instead because they are AMAZING). I'd rather have those than some random expensive item because the expensive item is seen as better because more money has been spent in one go.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 21:46

WTF katie 🤔

A) they are only relevant to men with young children

B) they are £150!!!

OP posts:
Hidillyho · 10/10/2018 21:51

getting someone 1 eyeshadow, even if it's what they want, doesn't look much so the tendency is to go for a bigger but cheaper set

As someone who is into makeup, I can assure you I would probably know the value of the eyeshadow pallet and although I would try a cheaper brand, I probably would end up throwing it/donating it as eyeshadow is one of the things I really do believe you get what you pay for.

I would rather a single gift of £50 unless it’s stationary. I have a massive stationary obsession (to the point I literally refused to leave my pens at work for my mat leave)

VanGoghsDog · 10/10/2018 22:05

I quite like scented candles but I wouldn't thank anyone for one from bloody B&M or somewhere, I like nice brands, which I am happy to buy for myself.

Can't stop laughing at the idea of people buying tings from a 'bric a brac' stall for gifts.

And even the things people mention have 'gone down well in the past' (if they actually did......) well, you can't buy the same every year. How many packs of cards can someone need??

I just have no idea what to buy adults these days, nor what I would want them to buy me. Christmas is going to be tricky this year I think.

SaucyJack · 10/10/2018 22:16

What an amazing coincidence that you happened to find one of those man bags today Katie- seeing as they only went on sale this morning.

If I was a massive cynic, I’d say you were trawling MN for threads to put covert adverts on as you work for them- but I’m not, so I won’t.

Alicatz66 · 10/10/2018 22:20

DarlingNikita I wasn't tittering .. I'd bloody love a parcel of 10 chocolate oranges .. or 10 Toblerones !!! .. I'd be delighted Smile

Aus84 · 11/10/2018 00:54

OP, 100% agree with you. In my family, I would rather everyone put that money towards food for a Christmas party so the host isn't lumped with the expense.

At work, instead of secret Santa, we all bring a plate of food and close the office early for a Christmas party.

MarcieBluebell · 11/10/2018 00:58

I'd go for 5 £10 gifts.

Xmas is about fun and being with family. I don't think something being expensive means you'll like it anymore than a nice cheaper gift.

Thisreallyisafarce · 11/10/2018 05:50

It's funny - ask me to name five things I want and I can hardly think of one, but I have rarely not appreciated something somebody has bought me, whether it cost £10 or £100.

MN seems to be a hotbed of ingratitude with just a dash of humbug.

speakout · 11/10/2018 07:29

*It's funny - ask me to name five things I want and I can hardly think of one, but I have rarely not appreciated something somebody has bought me, whether it cost £10 or £100.

MN seems to be a hotbed of ingratitude with just a dash of humbug.*

I totally agree.
It's juvenile people moaning about not getting good presents.
It's the act of giving that is important, and no guarantee that you will enjoy a gift more because it is expensive.

Gifts for adults in our family are token gifts, often food or alcohol, but otherwise something small, a bar of French soap, a small handbag mirror, a book, something of that nature.

I really don't want someone spending £50 on something that I don't need. If I needed an item I would buy it for myself.

bookmum08 · 11/10/2018 07:42

This seems to be one of those threads where I think I live in a completely alternative universe to the rest of mumsnet. In my world a £10 gift wouldn't be a 'token' gift. It would just be a gift. Do none of you lot actually talk to each other in your families and ask if there is anything you want for Christmas. In a few weeks my mum will ask me and I will say "there is a new Anthony Horowitz book out I would like to read" and I would tell her the title. Blimey that's not complicated is it? Do people not do that in their families?