To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

[Bearbehind]

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

Now I'm pretty sure I'm not one for filling my house with anyone's definition of tat, but the word itself is so snobby and "my taste is better and more important than your taste " that it gives me the rage!

But isn't that what this thread is showing - one persons taste is not the same as another.

I think the best example was the candle one.

I might think, oh I know my SIL likes candles so I'll buy her one but the reality is unless you buy brand X and scent Y it's probably going to be binned or regifted.

The other problem is the volume of items.

Getting 5 small items every year from the same group of people is going to get tedious pretty soon.

I don't see £10 as a token at all. I struggle to make ends meet some months after paying for bills etc and this is about all i can spare for people this Xmas.

There are loads of things I'd like to receive for a tenner or less, the chances of actually getting them are slim though.

Just off the top of my head:
Wine
Decent chocolate
Nice hair products
Certain candles
Nice toiletries
Any nice food bits
Good quality socks.

In that case rockin wouldn't you rather either

• agree not to buy anything for anyone and buy something yourself instead

or

• for everyone to club together and buy each person 1 gift they want or need?

It's the 'having' to buy multiple gifts for the sake of it that I find so wasteful.

Do you mean say 5 people each buying/receiving £50 gifts (total spend = £200) versus £10 gifts (total spend = £40)? If so, the latter seems a sensible option.

I can think of loads of nice things for a tenner (wine, chocolates, toiletries) but for £50 I'd prefer to choose it myself!

For me, the goal is to buy each gift recipient something that I know they will need, use or consume anyway -- but a better than normal version of it. My nephews, for example, get a single pair of very lovely mohair socks each year for when they work outside. My BIL is likely to receive a set of small bottles of good olive oil for finishing his complicated and delicious recipes. A pretty notebook for the artistically inclined, or new playing cards for MIL have been well-liked in the past. The bric a brac section of our local market is a good source of individual items that take time to find but little to buy.

I am with the PP who shuddered at the idea of receiving a gift set of Bayliss & Hardy products. Those go straight in the regifting drawer!

Token gifts to me are gifts that you buy someone that you wouldn't normally.

Say I was going to mums for Christmas lunch & her friend was going to be there too I'd buy a token gift so that I wasn't dishing out gifts to everyone except the friend even though I wouldn't normally buy them a gift at Christmas.

If my budget was £50 for someone's gift I'd buy something that they'd like for that amount but whether that was one large item or 5 smaller items it wouldn't be what if class as a token gift.

I'm really happy with less expensive gifts - I can think of loads of things around the £10 mark that I'd be absolutely delighted with. The problem I have is that my mum has a spending limit in mind, then goes looking for something that meets that budget, rather than asking me (or my DH) what I might like, which means it inevitably ends up in the charity shop before long. As another poster said, it really isn't hard if you know the person (or listen to them). It's when you apply the 'this'll do for Susan' kind of logic that you end up with unwanted gifts, regardless of the price.

Do you mean say 5 people each buying/receiving £50 gifts (total spend = £200) versus £10 gifts (total spend = £40)? If so, the latter seems a sensible option

No - my example was you and 5 other family members want to buy presents for each other

Option 1
Each person buys a £10 gift for every other person so you spend £50, give 5 gifts which each cost £10 and receive the same in return

Option 2
Each person buys 1 other person a gift for £50 and receives 1 gift of that value themselves. Also assuming there would be a degree of collusion so for example you'd ask your SIL what her husband would like so you got something they wanted.

There is an option 3 which is to agree that a situation where you are buying multiple presents for the same group of people is bonkers and stop the gift giving altogether. 😆

Option 2!
That lends itself to £50 that can become a top / tshirt / meaningful bit for a hobby £35 and a CD / DVD £13 and chocolate £2

Where option A means you send up with £10 bits "stuff" that becomes clutter.

So others have said, a tiny bit of something quality is just as good as a large expensive item of tat. If it's well thought out and will be happily used then great.
I do agree with you to some extent though. As I said on the other thread, we're stopping kids gifts fir family after this year as I cannot find things within our budget that they would want/appreciate/use. They are older so it's £40 xbox games or super dry clothes and we can afford neither.

I prefer generic token gifts. When people put thought and money onto it they often get it wildy wrong and I end up with an expensive item I rely don't like and a feeling of guilt.

I would much, much prefer a small token surprise to a more expensive thing I've had to ask for/give instructions about.

Ideally, it would be no presents at all.

I agree with your goal/definition, XingMing!

I'd put it slightly differently but mean the same thing: a great present is something you wouldn't think to buy for yourself.

90% of "gift sets" that appear in the shops for Christmas are over-priced and over-packaged shite and I think that's what the problem is, people buying those because they want to "bulk up" what they are buying so it comes in a big box.
The Boots 3 for 2 offers are major culprits in this. Total waste of money and resources.

I have quite a few sub £10 things on my wishlist. A tin of Badger sleep balm, a book, an umbrella, a notebook. I'm easy pleased.

Also, and sorry it's not original, but you can get some funny stuff in Ann Summers for hardly any money. And it's worth it for the laughs if you have the right thing for the right person.

10 chocolate oranges ?

Titter ye not, Alicatz66, that sounds like a good Christmas to me!

We used to do £10 each for Birthday presents (6 of us) but changed it to rotating who bought and spending £50 in one go so you could do a "better" present. That would be a sensible way of doing say family presents at Xmas, as a larger secret santa

“ (or White Company handwash) is a luxury version of something you would buy for yourself but feels too extravagant, which I actually think is a great category of gifts.”

Ha! I can’t imagine a worse Christmas present than expensive hand wash personally. It’s just something you use to wash poo crumbs off with innit. I wouldn’t want to spend more than a quid on it, and I most certainly wouldn’t want anyone wasting £15 on it and giving it to me at Christmas.

Hello BearBehind.

I feel a bit sad that you feel the need to make a whole separate thread slating my original thread in the Christmas topic asking for £10 gift ideas as all being 'tat' that no-one in my family will want.

We just decided as a family that we would all like to still buy each other little things and have the fun of a present unwrapping session and enjoying each others company, but since we all have other financial commitments we would rather limit the cost this year, and buy each other a small thoughtful gift each without the financial hangover. Although I was asking for ideas, I am very aware of a variety of books, CDs, DVDs etc that each family member would like, and I don't personally consider receiving a book or CD etc that I know someone would like to be 'tat'. And there's loads of little things I would like that all come in at the £10 mark. Yes fair enough there are loads of cheap gifts that are tat, but it doesn't have to be like that, and it perfectly possible to buy someone something thoughtful without spending loads of money. But you're obviously entitled to your opinion.

we'd all leave a better world if we stopped buying overpackaged bath sets and 'gift' sets.

It is only October. Declare adult present ceasefire now.

We do a secret Santa in our family. There are 10 people to buy for and each person gets a name and you spend £100 on that person. They have to submit a list of stuff they would like or at least some ideas and you go and choose and select items that they'd like. Sometimes it is specific, I got my brother in law last year and it was fishing stuff he really wanted but then I saw some cool stuff I thought he would like and it was a nice surprise. Works really well. You have to be over 18 and in full time work to be in it, otherwise you get pressies by default!

kitkat I apologise if you felt sad, I didn't mean for that to happen.

I just wondered if people did really like those kind of gifts and I was being a misery.

Consensus is - there is no consensus! 😂