To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

[Bearbehind]

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

My MIL is the queen of tat! This year I predict I will receive:

*a pair of gloves from Avon. I knit gloves
*a scarf from Avon. I knit scarves
*various previously worn items from the local charity shop which won’t be my size and often smell. They usually get binned.
*various useless pink things bought because they are pink and cheap.

• a small towel purportedly from my BIL (aged 54 ) but really from her.

Why do I predict this?
Because it’s beeen the same for the last 25 years. Sigh.......

comedy bottle opener or singing fish wall decorative item.

Who would buy that crap though?

Not my family.

speak well obviously plenty of people do buy that kind of crap.

Great for you having a family who actually buy stuff you like, not everyone has that.

bearbehind

true but then the same can be achieved in a different way. when my son is 28 I am hoping DH will surprise me by actually getting the boy himself home on Christmas day, never mind a handprint. Christmas for me is about the people, the food & the good cheers

I think the key to a token gift is if its been bought with the recipient in mind. That's where the value is, not how much it cost.

Exactly.

Our token gifts may be something like a home made spiced gin, a good quality art brush ( my SIL paints) a jar of Kalamata olives or a bottle of good green Greek olive oil( I love this). A jar of Ras el Hanout for my BIL who loves to cook, , a healing gem for my MIL ( because she is that way inclined).

No tat, nothing very expensive.

All token gifts.

speakout

we've been bought things over the years (comedy/novelty etc) that I'm sure plenty of people would consider tat but which we love and use. Eg a set of 3 bottle stoppers, one with a stag on top, one with a hare, and one with a pheasant... used regularly (yes, we probably drink too much). So one person's tat is another's treat. As always it comes down to people putting a bit of thought/time into choosing a little something that will suit the recipient.

The people who mention pjs and slippers those would cost more than a tenner.

It makes much more sense to pull resources and get 1 £50 parcel than 5 x £10 ones.

£50 would give the option to buy pjs, slippers, housecoats, DVD box sets, nice copies of books, accessories for hobbies or sports, things that will actually be used rather than cupboard clutter.

A £10 "thoughtful" gift.
I took to burning candles to try and use them up. I didn't want to bin them, wanted to get the out the cupboard - they'd been there for years
A friend noticed the candles. Decided 'thoughtfully' to buy me electic candles since i liked candles and just added to my cupboard clutter!

I personally find the 'thoughtful' 'artisanal' gift even more irritating than the joke gift tbh. The homemade jam. The artfully decorated picture frame. I find it twee and forced and as if the person wants a round of applause for their superb gift-making skills.

I literally have no need for anything in my house. If I want something, I just buy it.

avoiding, out of sheer boredom I had a quick Google and you can get a printed t-shirt & pj shorts and a pair of slippers at everything5pounds for a tenner.

I'm not making no bold claims they'd last past boxing day though.

i honestly hate gifts. I wish the whole culture of 'gifts' would fuck right off tbh. Especially token gifts. Such a waste of money, time, resources etc. Totally agree - I have pushed to reduce gift giving even amongst the nieces and nephews - I had 22 to buy for and I don't know any of them well enough to put some thought in - sometimes their parents supplied a list - it was all pretty awful - I watched my kids open present after present of complete and utter tat - when you have to buy for 22 kids that you have maybe met once or twice no one puts thought into it. So I dropped all my family's gifts - I'm starting to look forward to Christmas again - instead of feeling nothing but pure dread.

Element exactly you might be able to get cheap junk but really I'd rather have one pair of decent pjs rather than 5 cheap pairs that fall to bits and have been made in by a poor kid in some sweatshop somewhere.

You know buy cheap, buy twice!

Get something that person would really appreciate otherwise get a gift token or don't bother. No point in getting a generic smellies set/candle/ pair of slippers people don't want or need.
One year my sister got me 1 particular pair of socks £10 that i wanted and needed. Perfect

I guess if you don't like being given wee things then the best thing to do is ask for no gifts at all. Maybe suggest that the person who always gives you something makes a donation to your chosen charity instead. Win win.

bloom I frequently ask for no gifts. Still get given gifts. It normally gets regifted/sold. Sad, but I don't have the space.

Maybe if you asked for charity money instead, they'd do it. My MIL would be horrified not to give me something at christmas, but charity giving instead works for her. She's got it into her head that the world will know and judge her badly if she doesn't give us anything, even when we've said that's what we want. I've no idea quite why, but she just can't do it. So we go down the charity route - I ask her for a £10 donation to the charity we support, she gets to give me an envelope with the cash in it and we're all happy. I do still get a "wee minding" as she can't stand me not opening a gift on christmas day, but it's something like a pack of spices from Lakeland, or a pretty shower gel, both of which are useful. It's just a hang up some people have, I think. I'd be very happy with nothing, but that would make her unhappy so we compromise.

bookmum08 my family do this so everyone gets things they actually want But DHs Mum does the worst of both worlds - spends more than a token amount but on all token gifts. It drives me mad. I’m in my 30s, I don’t need my MIL to buy me socks or dove bath sets. She’s only recently stopped buying DH Lynx sets

What particularly bugs me is she is evidently trying to save money - buying things in a “3 for £x” deal and giving one to each of her children or regifting things like chocs or alcohol. She’s even been known to split up a multi pack of something and give them to different people. I tried to return a babygrow and discovered it was part of a set (it had a tag and hanger so I didn’t realise). I also once received a single sock because she’d split what she thought was a 4 pack.

It annoys me because it’s so unnecessary just ask me, or at least dh, for suggestions and you’d actually spend less.

I guess if you don't like being given wee things then the best thing to do is ask for no gifts at all. Maybe suggest that the person who always gives you something makes a donation to your chosen charity instead. I don't want to have to buy gifts for people either - I get no pleasure from giving people presents - I think I must be weird

speakout Lego is my hobby. I belong to an adult Lego group. We organise events or take part in other large events. The adult Lego world is a massive community. However I am not able to afford the mega sets that cost £100s. So I like to collect various small sets. Some I get as a treat to myself. But not often because I can't always afford too. So if someone gets me a £10 set for Christmas I love it. Because that's what I enjoy and it makes me happy.

My sister and I never treat ourselves so we send each other wishlists before Christmas. We send way more than we can afford so it's still a surprise to see which gifts we picked for each other. I'd much prefer that than a bar of soap I'll never use.

I'd rather have nothing than either the £50 gift or 5 smaller gifts, but if people insist, I'd rather have low cost consumables because £50 is a lot of money, so if someone is spending £50 on me, then it has to be exactly what I want and if I have to specify exactly what size, colour, model etc, then I've done most of the work myself and might as well just click the link and buy it myself.

I don't do make up, candles, perfume, ornaments, picture frames, scarves or just about everything else people see as a go to gift for a 40 something woman so don't want those either. I buy spices for pennies from the Asian grocers so can't see gift value in those as a gift, might as well be buying me a bag of flour.

I don't mind posh biscuits or any sort of gin or fizz and there you have a range of things I do like from a couple of quid to £20/30+ , but you have the people who like quantity above quality and wouldn't buy me the Hotel Chocolat selector pack that I do want, because a giant box of half price Thorntons that costs the same but tastes nowhere near as good looks like more of a gift to them.

And of course, because we're all too polite to be honest about things, no-one knows that most of the gifts I receive go unused or go straight the charity shop. And then I feel guilty about the waste of time and money. I like the Moneysaving expert No unnecessary presents pact

A £10 gift isn't a token gift in my family. And if it is bought with thoughtfulness and with consideration for what you like it can be a really nice gift to receive. I would be horrendously embarrassed if most of my family spent much more than that, we all have our own children/partners to buy for and it is (in my very humble opinion) stupid to spend more than you can afford on people outside that immediate group.

Def prefer and feel more comfortable receiving wine and chocs than something big and fancy.

Bookmum I'm also an AFOL but I'd much rather have one £50 set than to have 5 x £10 sets

So for me clubbing together / secret santa works much better. I have no interest in typical "woman" gifts like scarfs, make up, candles, socks, gloves, tea towels, toiletry sets etc.

AvoidingDM hello fellow Afol! I do spend lots of time drooling over the bigger sets but I haven't got a lot of display space so I have found I like to get the smaller sets and I rotate the display or make new things. I have been eyeing up the Friends Camper Van all year and I would absolutely love to have the Ninjago City or a train set. But I think I am sticking with smaller sets for now so I really want to get the Thanksgiving and Xmas Brickheadz. I got the Valentine Bee and Easter Bunny. I just treated myself (using VIP points) to the Halloween Witch so I want the other two sets to complete the set.

Gosh, we do get our knickers in a twist over gift giving and receiving, don't we? If people don't want to receive gifts, don't give anything for a year, maybe two, and I think that would pretty much guarantee you'd be off everyone's lists! If people don't want to give gifts, don't! Same result! We stopped christmas cards years ago, because of the waste of time, money and utter resentment involved in spending a couple of evenings writing trite nonsense to people I never see or hear from apart from that bloody card in December. It took a while (we did warn people that we'd not be doing it any more) but now we only get a few and send one, to OH's parents (who would be terribly hurt if we didn't).