AIBU about nursery calling DD a clever clogs

[2b1c51]

DD is 4. Just missed out on school this time so still at nursery. She is very bright, and yesterday was doing an activity at nursery that was pretty advanced for her age (not going into details about it as don't want to be accused of this being a stealth boast).

Keyworker obviously told us about it at the end of the day, and on the way home we were praising her for it. However, she got quite upset and said that the staff, and then other kids, had called her a clever clogs. She obviously didn't see this as a good thing (I think because of Peppa Pig- when Edmund is called a clever clogs it doesn't really seem a positive thing).

AIBU to talk to nursery about this? As someone who was bullied through school for being clever I might be oversensitive about this, and it did upset DD. It was probably meant well and I could explain to DD that being clever is a positive thing, but at the same time I just feel that 'clever clogs' isn't a nice term and is a bit unprofessional. Please talk sense to me!

I wouldn't be offended by clever clogs at all and neither would my children. I've only ever known it as a positive thing.
One of my children was called names (by other kids) due to his learning difficulties and that hurts, but Clever Clogs is just a kind fun name which is meant to make the child beam with pride (well it was when I was a child anyway. Unless the meaning has changed over the years???).

Agree with others that it’s your job to explain to your daughter that it’s a compliment not an insult.

Please don’t take the staff to task over this...it would be ridiculous. And I say this as someone who was also badly bullied at school. This is not bullying or teasing.

I was once severely disciplined at school and kept inside at lunchtime and separated from my friends for the remainder of the week for telling another child that “you look so cool today, you look just like child celebrity”. She hadn’t heard of the celebrity and went to the teacher in floods of tears saying I was calling her names. I wasn’t given an opportunity to explain, I was forced to apologise for “calling names” and dragged away from my friends. It was horrible, and after that I just stopped giving others compliments and didn’t trust teachers to be fair in future.

All because one child completely overreacted to being given a compliment and assumed it was an insult. I’m sure you don’t want to have a child that cries at the drop of a hat and gets others into trouble for no reason. So explain to her the difference between being called “clever clogs” and say, “swat” or “geek”. For what it’s worth, I hear teachers and nursery staff positively praise with “clever clogs” all the time.

I've never seen "clever clogs" as a term of praise

But any phrase can be sarcastic and spiteful if intended, so I don't understand the dislike towards the chosen words. They obviously said this to the OPs daughter because they were proud of what she has achieved. The fact some people could use it later in life as an insult is neither here nor there in this instance it was clearly said in kindness.

I remember affectionately being called a clever clogs as a child, especially when I'd fine something very quickly or write advanced for my age. It was clearly meant as a term of endearment. Peppa pig is an awful cartoon, the characters don't even say please and thank you. Your issue isn't with the teacher, it's the messages your child is getting from a cartoon.

I think if your DD was upset then it's a moot point what was said - she's 4 and I would want to find out what the problem was.
She did a good piece of work but doesn't feel that it was seen that way. IMO, that IS an issue.

I would ask for clarification from the nursery. Tell them what your DD said and how she felt, but don't give your opinion until you know the whole story.

Where I'm from Clever Clogs is NOT a term a praise - more like a jeer "ooooo, aren't you a clever clogs"

I wouldn't be happy either, at all. 'Clever clogs' has an edge of 'let's take you down a peg or two'. I'd be having a word, and I'm not generally 'that parent'. I'd also be trying to sound out if it was indicative of a more general anti-achievement culture at the nursery.

It was always negative when I was younger too, as if you were showing off, along with “swot.” It all depends on how it was said and I agree it’s not used nicely on peppa pig. I banned the pig after dd kept going on about daddy’s “big fat tummy”

Maybe its a regional thing but I've never come across clever clogs being used as anything other than positively and affectionately.

Negative here.

she's 4 and I would want to find out what the problem was.

The problem was explained in the first post. She has watched Peppa Pig which made being clever seen as a negative. He mum has never corrected this view explaining that being a clever clogs is a good thing.

Naturally when praised for being smart she has viewed it negatively associating being clever as a bad trait based on the cartoons viewpoint she has.

Moral of the story, don't watch Peppa Pig, or if you do at least correct the misconceptions it portrays.

DD1 used to get called ‘clever clogs’ and ‘clumsy clogs’ at pre school (she is both clever and clumsy!). Luckily she took clever clogs as a compliment (not a peppa pig watcher) and she thought clumsy clogs was funny.
I see where you’re coming from though. I was bullied at school for being ‘clever’ and it doesn’t come across as a compliment to me. In your shoes I’d probably explain to your DD that it was meant kindly, and maybe have a quick work with the nursery staff to explain that she found it a bit upsetting.

I've always heard clever clogs used in a negative way too. I wouldn't be happy with someone using it to my child.

Don't underestimate the impact that being teased for being clever can make. My DS1 deliberately dumbed down to make himself fit in, to the extent of deliberately misspelling the words in his test. 16/20 was okay but 20/20 was uncool apparently. Even when he moved to a different school with more academic peers it took years and years for him to lose that mindset and it impacted on his academic achievements.

YANBU-It isn't an coincidence that the majority of posters who actually been on the receiving end of "clever clogs" comments dislike it. Inverse academic snobbery is a nightmare and hinders learners academically and socially from old-school to university.

Oh for fucks sake 🙄

Clever clogs has always been used in a mocking way in my experience. YANBU. Many terms could be used to praise your DD which would not have led to any confusion. I would let the nursery manager know that clever clogs is unacceptable. Good luck with that though, my DDs nursery fed her meat repeatedly, knowing she is vegetarian.

I’ve resuscitated my old username just to tell you YABU. Nothing wrong with being a clever clogs!

YABU for letting her watch Peppa Pig. Horrible obnoxious little creature that belongs on a barm!!!

It sounds like the nursery are trying their best to meet your DD's needs, as this can't have been a routine activity if she's one of the eldest / only managed it as she's so bright. Perhaps any edge was the nursery staff's anxieties at how they're going to challenge your DD until she goes to school?

I wonder if it’s a regional thing. I’ve never ever heard clever clogs used as anything but affectionate praise.

Inverse academic snobbery is a nightmare and hinders learners academically and socially from old-school to university.

Goodness, that’s a weighted statement. Do you have any research that backs it up? It would be interesting to see how many children never fulfilled their potential due to being told they’re a smart.

Clever clogs means precocious brat, so I can see what you mean OP. Surprised others are so dismissive.

I guess it comes down to the tone of voice, but it's decades since I was at school so maybe "clever clogs" is no longer used in a negative way.

Yep negative connotations. You could go for 'thought I'd have a quick word - due to Peppa Pig DD thinks being called Clever Cloggs is a bad thing - I know that's not what you meant but I thought I'd let you know'.

"Clever clogs" was always used very nastily when I was at school, maybe it's a regional difference or maybe some posters just didn't hear it at school. I fail to see how it can have been meant as anything other than teasing and the other kids would only have picked up on it because the teacher was teasing her, they would not have been saying it otherwise. It's perfectly reasonable to let the nursery staff know that the term came across as making fun of DD, so can they please come up with other terms e.g. "that's very clever", "well done", "that looks great", "you've done an excellent job". That said, it can and will happen later in school, so your daughter needs to learn that she is very clever and can rely on that through life, and that she needn't worry about people who tease her or are jealous.

My interpretation would be different to the other posters I think.

I would assume that my DD’s problem was the attention rather than the specific praise or achievement. Not only a teacher but also other children were commenting and that it made her uncomfortable. I would talk about how it is difficult to have people looking at you and talking about you, but sometimes that happens, and it’s good to name that emotion (embarrassed, feeling on the spot) so people know how to help you. Embarrassment is a really tricky emotion to get the hang of or name as a small child.

I would also say to the teachers, DD, seems to be getting embarrassed / shy quickly, can you maybe not bring her work to the attention of other kids? She just wants to be one of the crowd. I’m sure a good teacher would be ok with that. (A really good teacher would incorporate how to praise well / receive praise well into circle time).