not attending parents evening?

[GreenLantern53]

I told my child teacher I wouldnt be able to attend parents evening and she didnt look impressed. aibu not attending?

Of course YABU.

Parents evenings are annoying but mandatory, the fact that your childs teacher looked unimpressed probably means she wanted to talk to you about a few things and is judging you for not making the effort to go

I said ages ago I was probably abrupt without realising it so for that reason I can see why I came across as unreasonable...

My child isnt naughty or badly behaved so im not concerned, in sure she would have mentioned before parents evening.

i work emergency services and can never make them so i rearrange a time with both my dds teachers before school on my rest days. Their father my ex makes the actual evening but it is so important to go

I have never been told anything at Parent's evening that I wasn't already aware of.

DH went this evening and they said exactly what we knew they would say. We go because it is important for the children but they are repetitive and if there are any issues I would always be told well before parent's evening.

The couple of times neither of us could make one I have always asked if I could pop in after school for a quick catch up and there has never been a problem with that.

Fluffyears, You sound proud that your mother was rude to a teacher who was trying to do their best for you.

Parents evening
Parents' evening
Parent's evening

Which one should it be?

Op what on Earth is your reason for not going?
Your child is in reception so basically you will be told how well he/she is colouring in!
Unless there are other issues?
Come on here!
Don’t come on MN with no information like that!

Looks like op can't be arsed to go / can't see the point, regardless of what everyone is saying. Not really sure why you bothered posting in the first place op !

I hope your child doesn't mind / notice and take it to heart.

Have a

Unless theres a problem then parents eve is a waste of time. Esp at primary school. Just because a parent doesnt attend doesnt mean that theyre not interested or supportive of their child at home. We get printed reports at primary and one year the teacher had put another childs name and paragraph in my dcs report!! They arent like the reports dcs used to get- they are usually stats based and nothing about their social skills or personality. I dont think its anyones business why a parent isnt attending. If the school is concerned about a child then 10 mins isnt enough and they should make an appt with the parent at an alternative time anyway. Teachers should be more understanding. Theres isnt the only job in the world.

They are tedious, they are predictable. They take a lot of effort to organise the time to go.

BUT, it is a massive part of parenting.

I can always predict what the teaches will say ('bright enough, unmotivated, would be better if he actually did not deny the existence of homework with the conviction an atheist denies the existence of God, cheerful and a chatterbox') but it is still important that we go. My DS loves that few minutes us talking just about him. We love that few minutes just focusing on him. We show him we care about him and his education and hopefully he will learn to value it too.

If we didn't care enough to go and find out how he is settling in, we would be teaching him school does not matter. Already a tight line to tread, as I home educate DD.

My childs father is absent so he wont be able to go. obviously if there is 2 of you its easier. Not really the same as I am the only person who can go.

Bacard,

I just wonder whether we do it differently from all other primaries, as we put a LOT of prep into parents' evenings (we have 2 per year, with written report at the end of the year) and tbh am surprised that parents see them as a waste of time.

I write a bullet-point report on every child which I talk through. All book are available before the meeting, and I will pretty much always refer to them to illustrate the points that I am making. I will always have in mind, for any child, a piece of written work that shows them at their best, at their typical level, and at the level they show their difficulties most obviously in.

I have data for every child from previous year, their targets for the current year, specific tests like verbal or non-verbal reasoning, and the results of any weekly assessments of e.g. spelling, maths facts etc.

I will comment on good things and things to work on in reading, writing, maths (subdivided into topic areas) and science.

We discuss the child's general feelings about school, any friendship or social issues etc. We always discuss specific things a parent can do to help at home.

As I am in upper KS2, we often discuss secondary school aspirations / choices, especially later in the year.

For any children at any level in the SEN list, or having any individual or small group intervention, we provide updated copies of all paperwork and discuss progress and any changes of intervention strategy, and I always end up with a list of follow-up meetings to book. It's a real push - and very intense - to do 30-32 x 10 minutes like that, but it's what we always do, and I would genuinely question any parent who said 'oh, all of that was a waste of time'.

TheBigFatMermaid
It's like I say to colleagues and parents, parents evening should be a big surprise. If it is then something has gone wrong.
The time dedicated to talking about a child and their learning is the value. It's seeing home and parents discussing learning. It's about times when home say 'actually theyve been a bit of a swine on homework but what do you think Mrs pops?' It's the message that we are all working together out of a shared desire to see them achieve.

I quite like it when the children are there too. Though I can recall an appointment where the child sat on their phone wheb i was talking to them and their parent and their parent let them! And then let them interrupt the conversation to ask something about a notification on the phone. I saw a very different side to the child there and it was world's apart from the manners I see every day.

(We are a slightly 'arms length' primary, for a variety of logistical reasons to do with the site, so I don't see every parent every day in the way I might if we had a more typical 'every parent comes into the playground to collect their child every day' setup)

My school had one yesterday evening. I was supposed to be at it but my partner was in London working and I had to cancel because I had to work too. I’ve driven to parents evening in the past in the snow however.
I’ve also given the school my contact information just in case they want to call me etc about something. Do you have any reason for not going or not? Do you work outside the house or not? If you are a stay at home mom you should go. My schedule is unpredictable. If I cannot attend the event I remind them of that in advance.

That's one of the reasons why wee HAVE to make contact with every parent for every Parents' Evening, as we don't have that casual day-to-day contact except for SEN children where we liaise very closely with parents every day.

I am very proud of my mother for standing up to him basically being a cocky arsehole to her. He was really rude to her about not going when he was bothered to look into why she couldn’t make it. My home details were in the file he used to get my mother’s telephone number, maybe if he had read it he wouldn’t have felt the need to tell her ‘you obviously don’t care about your daughters education or future’,

Ok so you can't make parents evening so just to have 5 minutes with the teacher at a time both suitable for you.

How dare he take time out to talk to a parent about their kids education - I bet he wont try that trick again in future!
In your original post you just said he was explaining how important parents evenings are, not "you evidently dont care about your childrens future" which I doubt very much that he said.

I am a teacher I have to find child care so I can do a whole parents evening. I don’t judge people for not attending but you do need to make an alternative arrangement we have to feedback to you about your child’s progress on a termly basis.

I'm sceptical of people who ask if they're being unreasonable, yet repeatedly decline to give a reason. Quite simply, if you refuse to give a reason, accept any negativity. However, don't canvas people's opinion & certainly dont feel, that not giving an answer, entitles you to understanding, which is what you seem to be doing tbh.

Pitiful. How can you not go to parents evening for your 4-5 year old child?

Having said that I don't believe a word the OP says. No-one is that feckless. Utter nonsense.

U2hastheedge
I think it should be parents' evening as it's an evening for parents.

OP you are mistaken if you think PE is about behaviour - it isn't. It's about progress, targets, content of lessons, how they are doing generally and opening a communication.

If you can't make it just arrange another time, if you won't arrange another time then I think you are being unreasonable.