To want more than a salad for £40?

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

The op stated they were vegetarian. Vegetarians don't eat fish, so no, it wouldn't make sense to me.

But OP then goes on to state that she doesn't eat shellfish for religious reasons. Which then begs the question of why religious reasons are relevant, if she wouldn't be eating it anyway. The religious part would be superfluous.

I suspect the answer ( and why the OP hasn't been back) is that she is looking for kosher food..... Which is why meat is a non-starter in an ordinary restaurant, and she is using veggie as a way to fulfill the religious requirement of her food requirement (which is fine btw). Her friends may not realise and may think there is more there than there actually is....

The shellfish problem is a dead giveaway.

Sputnik those are not friends! What utterly twattish behaviour on their part!

"Sorry, but DH and I are not eating £10 worth of salad and chips and then forking over another £60-70 so you can all have steak. Pay for your own meals."

Tickingthebox, I think you are right about your kosher theory. Lots of Jewish people do this as it saves explaining all the rules.

Indian restaurants often have a decent selection of vegetarian dishes.

Have you spoken with the restaurant? I’ve found that sometimes these type of restaurants don’t include a vegetarian option on their main menu but when you ask they have a separate vegetarian menu.

Most Steakhouse will cater for vegetarian, last one I was in did quite an extensive menu for veggies as well as a few options for vegans. Have you tried checking their signiture veggie burgers. They tend to have at least one on most menus, or pastas, such as mac n cheese, ours also does a mushroom rice in creamy sauce thing, and a number of sides to add on. I think they also did a nut cutlet. Served with veg and all the trimmings. Dunno whether you have checked their full menu or just assume cos it's steakhouse salad would be only option. But I'd have a good look first before giving in. Then if its not suitable still then be honest and suggest somewhere else say the veggie menu is very limited and they may understand it may just be a case of they are assuming been a modern day restaurant there would be a decent veggie selection.

There's me hoping the vegetarian options had improved from the 'cauliflower cheese or some sort of Mediterranean veg medley shit' from 10 years ago. Obviously not.

I think it's reasonable to say thanks very much but on looking at the menu there's very little for you to eat and would they mind if you all went to X and it also has steaks. I have lots of vegetarian friends and I really wouldn't mind...but then again.I wouldn't pick a steak house..

There's an amazing steakhouse near us but only veggie option was a cauliflower steak which cost about £20 😯

Our veggie friend chose the restaurant (no fucking clue why) and then proceeded to be pissed off with the lack of options. The small consolation was it was her birthday so we paid her 'meal'.

There's no way we'd have gone there with her if we'd picked, plenty of other opportunities to go there without taking veggies. Expecting you to share the bill is just another kick in the teeth.

I would value the friendship rather than complaining about the food or how much to pay or not pay. I think bill-splitting is so petty, personally. Do they not do some nice options like stuffed mushrooms or something? Maybe if you emailed them in advance they might do something nice for you.

Just order bottle of vintage Bolly (with a straw for you and DH) ...
or failing that a pudding for starter a pudding for main and another for, well, pudding

Another veggie here. And yes I've been to a few places in the past few years that still don't offer a veggie option, so yes they do still exist. I don't have a problem with friends booking a restaurant of their choice if it's their birthday or whatever, but since it sounds like in your case OP it's just a 'friends catch up' type dinner then I think it's pretty poor to pick somewhere with no veggie options.

I'd probably still go, but say at the outset that you won't be bill splitting, as that's just definitely not fair.

@PaulDacrreRimsGeese - The religious part would be superfluous.

Exactly.

had the misfortune of staying at hotel on business in Liverpool which had an MPW steakhouse in it & they wouldn't even make him an omelette to go with a side salad...said that MPW didn't allow them to make anything vegetarian

Marco PW really is a tool!!

Gordon Ramsay's latest masterclass series has some wonderful veggie dishes.

They ought to change resturants. Its not fair. But If you decide to go ahead with their resturant choice. You could always pre pay for your amazing veggie option. Then you can get on with your evening without further debate.

I feel like the restaurant choice has been looked into too much. I'm sure they very much want you there OP, as are you. So its simple - say can we go somewhere else? No veggie option here (sorry to be a pain). How about (insert alternative) or (insert alternative)? Can't wait to see you all!
If there is resistance because they all want this specific restaurant then yeah fine, meet them later. X

I'd decline. Depending on how well I knew them and how friendly they are, I would tell them why too "40 quid for a salad and a few fries - are you avin' a laff?". Perhaps offer to meet before for a beer, and then suggest a few places where you an all have a really good slap up gorge next time.

If they turn down the offer to book next time, then know that they only like Meat Eaters and send your dog in your place.

I'm not surprised they are "keen to have you there". They know full well that your meal will be bog cheap and splitting will keep the costs down for everyone because your "meal" brings the average down.
CF

YANBU. Steakhouses often have really poor and limited vegetarian options. I have several friends who are veggie and my sister is a vegan who doesn’t like mushrooms which is a nightmare but hey, I love her. I’ve noticed some restaurants are great but some still have very limited and boring, standard options. Why so many mushrooms? I do eat meat but I often choose non meat or fish options and they can be dull.

The only steakhouse I managed to eat somewhat decent at whilst vegetarian was Manny’s chophouse in Florida. I stuffed myself on their endless salad bowl, warm yeast rolls with lashings of cinnamon butter and a huge plate of of chips covered in a cheese sauce less the bacon bits. Now though due to health reasons I would eat the steak but I’d still troffle down the rest of the food as well. Obviously if you’re in England then a steakhouse in Florida doesn’t eeally help that much

lozz

Your “vegetarian meal” sounds like a heart attack on a plate.

Absolutely no way should you be splitting the bill. It’s very inconsiderate of them to have booked a steakhouse too with pretty much salad, chips & bread as the veggie options only. I have veggie/vegan friends and family and most places do good options in this regard - steakhouse is very behind in that one!