To want more than a salad for £40?

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

@DrCoconut sounds very familiar my works do last year everyone had these amazing piled high traditional christmas dinners I had pasta - 3 ravioli and a tbsp of sauce. I kid you not.

I've had this happen a couple of times. I always respond with... 'oops I appear to be double booked, but can join you at the end for coffee'.

It’s why I don’t go to work Christmas dos anymore.

Yes! Why are vegetarian meals so small?? This has infuriated me for years. I am not on a diet, I don't eat animal. Also why the odd mixture of things like a Mediterranean pie for a Sunday Roast?

Sorry that was in reply to an earlier poster. Can't find the name now, sorry.
I just wouldn't go OP. Ridiculous to even consider it.

Lonicera - I know a few people allergic to tomatoes and I mean hives etc. I think it's more common than people realise.

"And you know bugger all about trying to eat out as a vegetarian" seconding that! Sick to the back teeth of FAR fussier meat eaters calling me fussy for being veggie! I've had meat eaters who eat only half a dozen food items themselves try and call ME fussy! 😡

"Thank the gods for Indian, Italian, Middle Eastern and others who haven't forgotten how to cook without meat." Hear hear!

DrCoconut - omg yes! Had that happen with work Christmas dinners - pasta or risotto served with veggie parts of Christmas dinner 😐 except more often than not you'd also find anything roasted was roasted in lard, meat in the stuffing and only meat gravy available! Used to right piss me off as there'd usually be a set (high!) price too! Like fuck was I paying £30/40/50 quid for a microwaved pasta/risotto, boiled to death carrots and bitter sprouts!

They clearly don't care if you are there or not OP No friend would book a restaurant knowing that chips and salad were the only option for their friends to eat.

Burger and Lobster used to revel in their shitness for vegetarians but I see they now offer a bean burger.

OP I’d call the restaurant to check if there’s anything more than salad/chips and to check how the chips are cooked. Our local foodie pub has a veggie and vegan menu but stupidly only puts the standard one on their website. If there’s not a secret adequate menu, I’d say you’ve checked with the restaurant and you’re going to skip this night out as you’ll be starving. Unless you’re a big drinker, your friends are CF for suggesting you should split the bill.

But to be fair its Steakhouse.I wouldnt rock up to a veggie restaurant and want steak or meat.

Mushroom risotto - all the vegetarians I work with don't like mushrooms. I do though!

Vegetable lasagne - half of the vegetarians I work with are allergic to tomatoes. I am too.

Vegetable quiche - a few of the vegetarians I work with have dairy allergies

Is that a Guinness World Record for the most food intolerances in one office?

I have plenty of veggie friends (and parents) and if I'd chosen inappropriately then a message saying 'oh there's not anything we can eat off that menu l, can we try somewhere else?' Would be totally fine.

I was thinking it was some meat based destination restaurant like Pitt Cue or Hawksmoor but they have lovely veggie options AND a statement that they always have veggie or vegan options available. So I'm guessing it's some shitty Angus type steakhouse in which case surely your friends haven't chosen it because they want to try the Michelin starred cuisine and there's another option in your locality.

This sucks!!!

I'd make my excuses and either meet them
Afterwards or say it out right that all you can eat is salad and chips and that's just a bit shit.

You could always get in touch with the restaurant and ask them if they could do something for you in advance as you dont want to miss meal. With enough heads up some chefs would be happy enough. It's not hard to stick a load of veg in a tray and roast then fry up some halloumi or however you spell it 😂. Some pitta and some hummus on the side.

Still will be steep if you split the bill but at least you would enjoy your food a bit more.

I too wondered if OP is Jewish. If she is, and usually has fish when out for dinner, this whole thing would make somewhat more sense. The person choosing the restaurant is aware some members of the party are Jewish and can't eat meat when they go out. S/he checks there's a nice bit of fish for OP and partner as that's what they always get when they go out and steakhouses often have very good fish, sees the shellfish and thinks yep they'll like that, doesn't realise it's trayf. And they figure it's fine to split the bill because that's what usually happens, what with fish often being comparably priced to meat.

Or they could just be remarkably dim of course. But I could see how this might happen with someone who's got just enough of experience of Jewish dietary requirements to half understand it.

DrCoconut

I've had those Christmas Dinners - everyone else piled high and you get a manky risotto or pasta in tomato sauce with no side dishes. I don't play that game any more.

Is that a Guinness World Record for the most food intolerances in one office?

Probably very similar to the list you would get from the meat eaters for whom there is still plenty of choice.

I mean seriously - when the best a restaurant can offer is tired old mushroom risotto, vegetable quiche type options they erally shouldn't be running a kitchen.

There are restaurants which do this well. They get my custom and consequently the custom of extra meat eaters.

Mushrooms and peppercorn sauce. Sorted.

Eating out should be a pleasure. I'm a meat eater, but I find that when looking for vegetarian stuff for friends, the choice can be pretty limited and uninspiring at times.

So yes, when out with vegetarian friends, it's Italian, Indian, Mexican type stuff, which has a good choice.

I have a friend who does eat fish and chicken but not red meat.

Still wouldn't book a steakhouse for a meal out as it massively limits her choice and that's not fair, so definitely wouldn't choose one for a vegetarian friend.

I have food allergies and people often book for group meals without checking (or asking me) if there’s anything I can safely eat. It filters out the people who aren’t that bothered about me. True friends make the effort to choose a restaurant that’s suitable for everyone.

I HATE splitting bills. Still remember one birthday party when I was broke but went along with a £10 note and ordered pasta, tap water and no dessert. Then they wanted to split the bill and others had had steak, desserts, liqueurs, coffees, etc. I simply didn’t have the money and felt like a right shit handing over my £10 and saying that’s all I have. Especially when they announced that everyone has to pay more because Sputnik doesn’t have the money for her share. People were muttering how rude it was to come out with insufficient cash and I felt awful.

I haven't read the thread (sorry!) but if the "upmarket Steakhouse" is Marco Pierre White's place, I would save you and your friends the cost of paying through the nose for some really bad food and even worse service.

Do them all a favour and force them to book elsewhere.

I’m struggling to believe that any restaurant in the UK that is £40 a head would only offer a side salad as the vegetarian option. This is one of those things you only ever hear about on MN

I don't think they are charging 40 quid for her starter and side it's that her friends suggested they just split the bill meaning she will be lumbered with paying 40 quid as everyone else will likely be 30 quid for their steak alone.

@PaulDacrreRimsGeese - I too wondered if OP is Jewish. If she is, and usually has fish when out for dinner, this whole thing would make somewhat more sense.

The op stated they were vegetarian. Vegetarians don't eat fish, so no, it wouldn't make sense to me.

I read it that the £40 is one person's percentage of the total meal. I expect the OP is pissed off because the salad is around £6 and the chips around £3, whilst others will be eating £20 steaks with sides and starters etc.

thenightsky, yes, exactly. Miladymilord, you must be deliberately misunderstanding.

Just take yours and DPs food off then they can split equally