To want more than a salad for £40?

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

A group of friends are organising a a night out at a restaurant. We don't often get the chance to get together and it will be lovely to see them.
DH and I are vegetarian and friends know this - they made a point of making sure they booked somewhere with a non-meat option, which was good of them. They're very keen that we attend.

Except... it's a steakhouse! An upmarket one, but definitely a steakhouse. The "non-meat" options are a green side salad and a side order of chips; other than that it's big slabs of red meat all the way. I don't have any issue with what other people eat, but being something of a greedy beggar I suspect a side salad and some fries might leave me a bit peckish.

What's worse is that friends are now suggesting we split the bill equally. I know our "picky" eating is probably irritating to them, but AIBU to think this is very U particularly in a major city with more than one restaurant to choose from?

Would it be better to gently but firmly say we'd love to see them but can't eat anything on the menu so it's a no from us (and offer to organise the next night out); or to acknowledge their effort in finding somewhere with a (admittedly limited) veggie option and attend, knowing we'll be ravenous afterwards?

A side salad isn’t a vegetarian option. Surely they could find a better restaurant. There are very few restaurants that don’t even have one veggie main.

Suggest going to a curry house? Fab vegetarian options there + also meat'n'stuff for anyone who wants it - with or without chips!

Chips are probably cooked with beef dripping if it’s a steakhouse so it would literally be just green salad. That does not seem like a fun night out to me! I’d not bother. To pay 40 quid for it too is right cheeky fuckery.

It is difficult to arrange a night out for friends who have different dietary requirements for religious or other reasons. But not impossible. A steak house would not be the best choice however.

I have quite a diverse group of friends. Some religious some atheists. The OP's stance of not eating shellfish for religious reasons would have a couple of my friends checking she wasn't wearing mixed fibres. Or was stoning adulterers to death. You can't pick and choose which bits of your religious texts you adhere to. It's all of it or none of it.

I personally wouldn't expect you to split the bill. Contribute yes, split it? No.

It is difficult to arrange a night out for friends who have different dietary requirements for religious or other reasons.

Is it? Vegetarianism is very mainstream these days.

I read it that OP is probably Jewish and eating vegetarian out of the house to avoid kosher dietary rules? I may be wrong but that’s how it read to me.

Why do people seem to go out of their way to make life difficult for veggies.

It's bad enough being treated like a second class citizen in most restaurants (boring, unimaginative, curled up lasagne anyone?), without ones friends inflicting a steak house on friends they know won't enjoy that food. And then insisting they split the bill! What difference would it be to them for you to pay separately, other than depriving them of having a nice subsidy for everyone else's meal?!

I would decline on that occasion, I'm sure you have better ways of spending your money.

I know this has been said but bloody hell! Chips and a side salad is NOT a vegetarian option!
Either don’t go, go and pay separately or go and get absolutely shit faced and eat 5 deserts to get your money’s worth 😉

I went to a steak house earlier this year and there was hardly anything veggie on the menu and nothing vegan other than salad and chips. It was rubbish so I'm not surprised that op is struggling to find anything on the menu.

I wouldn't bother going op.

@MulticolourMophead - They did vegetarian food one week and DS was marked down as he'd not included pescetarians as a form of vegetarian.

And the teacher is probably still classifying pescatarians as a type of vegetarian. It does my head in. And all those bloody pescatarians claiming to be vegetarian have resulted in restaurants offering fish as a vegetarian option.

I was in a small town recently. We went to the best pub/restaurant in town. The waiter just couldn't seem to get his head round that fact that I don't eat fish because "we get lots of vegetarians in here who eat fish". Then they're not bloody vegetarian!!!!!!

I ate a side salad and chips. Yum😕

This happened to me 20 years ago. I ate a side salad, fries and onion rings while everyone else raved about the huge range of steak options.

I haven’t been to a steakhouse since. They are seriously the worst for vegetarians.

OP, just say “sorry, this doesn’t work for us let’s meet for a drink another time”. Don’t go and certainly don’t subsidise your selfish “friends”.

*It is difficult to arrange a night out for friends who have different dietary requirements for religious or other reasons.

Is it? Vegetarianism is very mainstream these days. confused*

Well yes it is. As mainstream as it seems most restaurants only offer the most basic and repetetive vegetarian dishes. I am neither vegetarian or vegan but I have the same allergies to some foods as my veggie friends do.

Mushroom risotto - all the vegetarians I work with don't like mushrooms. I do though!

Vegetable lasagne - half of the vegetarians I work with are allergic to tomatoes. I am too.

Vegetable quiche - a few of the vegetarians I work with have dairy allergies or don't want to consume diary products for ethical reasons. I'm lactose intolerant.

It's really diificult to find a restaurant that can accommodate every need. But not impossible!!

"Vegetable lasagne - half of the vegetarians I work with are allergic to tomatoes. I am too."

That is quite unusual. Is it an allergy or an intolerance?

Indian food seems to tick most boxes IMO. We also have an excellent Thai restaurant that offers a great range of veggie food.

That’s taking the piss! If it’s in the same town and no major travel involved etc, i’d Go for dinner with dh wherever you fancy, and join them for desserts/coffee/ apres booze etc.

I think perhaps you have very very fussy tastes (not just veggie) and are being dramatic.

And you know bugger all about trying to eat out as a vegetarian.

DeathBySnoring

Indeed and you can add bloody goats cheese/beetroot combos to that list. Oh the happy memories of the restaurant where the main was goats cheese and beet tartlet (frozen) which went with none of the sides and followed goats cheese salad which was the only starter without meat or fish.

I'm a vegetarian, there are many restaurants with no veggie option, even more with one tedious repetitive option which I have to share with vegan/gluten free/nut free/protein free and generally joy free.

Thank the gods for Indian, Italian, Middle Eastern and others who haven't forgotten how to cook without meat.

LoniceraJaponica

Absolutely no idea. I start with sneezing fits after about 10/15 minutes of eating tomatoes. Everytime we have a takeaway with tomatoes as an ingredient it starts. I have a packet of tissues at the side of me. My DH thinks I just don't blow my nose enough. Yep because every time I eat anything I have a massive sneezing fit.... Not!

A side salad and chips isn’t a veggie option

I know it’s a steakhouse but I’m still surprised No veggie option is available, like not even 1 option. Very unusual

And no I wouldn’t be splitting the bill.......

If its an angus steakhouse they have almost no vegi options at all.

Tell them you would like to go somewhere that has appropriate vegetarian options

This is the main course menu of our local steakhouse. There is a separate steak menu which, unsurprisingly, has nothing but steak on it. As you can see there is not one vegetarian option on it.

In my group of friends we have to accomodate vegan, halal, kosher and food faddy. We live in a big city and have always managed this, probably because someone will pipe up and say no to a particular restaurant if they do not consider it suitable. This is not because they would not find meal they could eat but having viewed the menu someone will decide there is nothing on it they would enjoy. Eating out should be a pleasure and whilst the company is important so is the food. Friends should understand this. I hate steak. Even though I eat meat no way would I look forward to an evening at a steak restaurant that focuses on steak overpriced grilled things. Just tell them OP!

You can't pick and choose which bits of your religious texts you adhere to. It's all of it or none of it.

Totally off topic I know but that is utter nonsense. Ask any priest if they follow every rule in the bible and they'll say no and for very good reasons. Get a grip.

I remember going for a Christmas meal. The traditional Christmas dinner was huge and apparently nice. My veggie option was pasta and the portion was so tiny that my 3 year old would eat it. It was literally a starter sized dish for a main and no side dishes to fill up on. Very disappointing.