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Original poster

Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

999 replies

fifithefoof · 09/10/2018 13:07

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting! Confused

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 09/10/2018 19:25

flumpybear

Ah but your theory works on the basis we all want to find “the one” Wink

AamdC · 09/10/2018 19:27

Well quite Silver who i slept with before dh and wether i loved them or not is completley irrelevant to our relationship and vice versa

Earlywalker · 09/10/2018 19:33

I'm not trying to misunderstand people, im trying to get at why people who have had great sex with some one they don't even like let alone live would get upset if a partner did that too while with them. They still "love" you they just had sex with someone else, so where is the problem here ?

Respect is the problem for me. I slept with people that I couldn’t tell you the name of, but once in a relationship I would never ever be unfaithful, I respect my partner too much to do that to him. The thought of him being close with another woman when I’m at home makes me sick. But I couldn’t give two shits about what/who he did before me.

AamdC · 09/10/2018 19:35

And why does it matter wetherif somone sleeps with 1000 men or 1 man as long as they are happy with their choices ?

seeyouhen · 09/10/2018 19:37

I'm not trying to misunderstand people, im trying to get at why people who have had great sex with some one they don't even like let alone live would get upset if a partner did that too while with them. They still "love" you they just had sex with someone else, so where is the problem here?

What's infidelity got to do with it?

BeenThereDone · 09/10/2018 19:42

Lol I thought mine was quite high and it is but I'm not alone it seems, thank you MN.

My single years were very very happy and some quite kinky!! So it won't be a death bed regret "I wish I'd had more sex"...... I'm so glad I did cos I ain't getting ANY now he's lost his moho and its throughly depressing...

Hidillyho · 09/10/2018 19:44

I personally think it’s a lot but who cares what a stranger on the internet thinks.
If you are fine with it then it’s no one else’s business.
I definitely would have slept with more people but I have been with DP since I was 16 so does that mean that my (now) few (compared to many) was really high back then because of my age? I don’t know and I don’t care. I don’t have any regrets (but definitely cringey moments)

Toomanytoremember · 09/10/2018 19:45

I haven't got a clue, I took far too many drugs in my 20's and really didn't respect myself. I'm surprised I'm still alive to be honest, some of the situations that i put myself Sad

EK36 · 09/10/2018 19:50

I honestly don't think it really matters. Men don't care how many they ve slept with, so why do women worry about it? As long as you're not hurting anyone and practice safe sex, who cares.

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 19:53

If people are happy with their choices that is great, and all power to them, but the idea that you are not allowed to judge who you have sex with is wrong.

As for my question, I'm getting at the point that sex does matter which is why you don't want your husband doing it with anyone else. Your relationship with your husband is special exactly because of sexual exclusivity. But assuming you are special because of the sex is naive if he has had it off with half the town.

JacquesHammer · 09/10/2018 20:08

As for my question, I'm getting at the point that sex does matter which is why you don't want your husband doing it with anyone else. Your relationship with your husband is special exactly because of sexual exclusivity. But assuming you are special because of the sex is naive if he has had it off with half the town

This point has been answered countless times. You’re confusing fidelity and sex.

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 20:09

For those saying they don't have sex with others when with someone they love out of respect for that person, again why ? What would you or your partner lose by the simple act of sex with some one ? Sex doesn't mean anything so it has no effect is that not exactly the point here ? I suppose young people call it being a demisexual I think.

JacquesHammer · 09/10/2018 20:11

Sex doesn't mean anything so it has no effect is that not exactly the point here?

No

Featherbag · 09/10/2018 20:11

I thoroughly enjoyed shagging about in my yoof, I believe the count stood at 50 when I met DH. We've been together over 18 years now and I've never so much as looked at another man and can't see that changing, so I guess the count won't grow! I regret nothing!!!

MarcieBluebell · 09/10/2018 20:13

God to me under 50 is not a lot.

No idea how many people I've slept with. Mabey 500 to 1000.

Featherbag · 09/10/2018 20:15

And of the 50 (+DH), I would say I was in love with 3.

usernamechangeahhh · 09/10/2018 20:16

The reason my number is so high is because I have what I consider an unusually/ normally high sex drive ( unsure if this is unusually high or just high ) ? I'm on low dosage sertraline which is meant to curb sex drive but it hasn't with me Confused I'm late 30's and boyfriend is 30, can go 3 times when we have a full day together, maybe more if he could manage it. He says I wear him out lol. That being said my sex drive only goes through the roof like this when I'm truly happy & in love.... It's not early days either, we've been together a while. I think I will be like this for life if we stay happy & in love. I will for sure be that sex pest wife that wears out her husband! Even though I am highly sexed I would never even consider sex with another man, once I'm in a loving relationship I'm truly faithful. I see all my past sexual encounters as a learning curve, I've learnt good & bad sex & the difference between making love & just fucking. Absolutely no regrets and I had no shame in telling my partner the truth when we both curiously asked each other the numbers.

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 20:18

Ok Jacque - not really an answer. Why is sexual exclusivity important to you ?

MondieBee · 09/10/2018 20:26

I've been with DH since I was 17 and had one boyfriend before that. We split up for three months about six years ago and I added 3 more people to my total... wasn't good though as I was having a bit of a breakdown I think.

Poor DH has only slept with his first girlfriend and then me. He slightly regrets never experiencing more casual sexual relationships. We are going to open up our relationship though so numbers will go up a little for him at some point.

Brownboots · 09/10/2018 20:26

Oh @lornar 🙄

What are you really getting at? Are you trying to justify yourself cheating? Or being intentionally obtuse?

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 20:34

I've never cheated but have been cheated on fwiw. It makes you question why you are affected by it and for me the answer is because sex is something special it is what makes or breaks relationships and I wouldn't for that reason have it with someone I didn't like or trust or particularly care about. The idea that if you do care about someone then somehow sex with anyone, not just the person you are in a relationship with is fundamentally changed doesn't make any sense to me and I was hoping someone who doesn't share this view could explain it ?

I am very careful about who I have sex with and always have been.

JacquesHammer · 09/10/2018 20:38

I was hoping someone who doesn't share this view could explain it

Quite simply because I don’t believe sex is special as part of a relationship. That isn’t the only thing that would make a relationship.

I enjoy sex in and of itself. It doesn’t need to be in a relationship to be enjoyable.

I have slept with a fair few people. I have never been unfaithful.

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 20:39

Maybe that is not clear. If I like shagging Bob, but don't really like Bob, then sex with Bob is nothing to think about. When I meet someone I like and want to have sex with, sex with Bob is now a big deal if that makes more sense.

SilverHairedCat · 09/10/2018 21:02

@lornar123

The physical act of a good fuck with someone without emotional attachment is not the same as an emotional relationship. Not even close. You must surely have experienced the latter to be having this conversation, and do not have to have even had sexual intercourse to understand this point.

Enjoying the physical act of sex does not equate to love.

They are not the same.

They are not to be enjoyed it experienced in the same way.

You cannot try to equate the two.

It's like trying to compare the enjoyment of driving a 1930s classic car on an A road against the thrill of racing a H2 motorbike on a high speed track day. Not comparable.

lornar123 · 09/10/2018 21:07

I get that silver, I really do. What I'm questioning is why the physical act of a good fuck without emotion becomes something else to you when you are in an emotional relationship with some else ?

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