Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

OP - I'm exactly the same as you and think my number is similar. I don't feel any shame at all, but I know some people judge so I tend not to talk about it much IRL.

TBH, there are some people that I can remember something happened but I can't remember if it went the whole way... and surnames..? Nah! I've been with DH ten years and never cheated on him and never would, so I'm glad I had lots of different experiences when I was younger.

I think about it this way, if I were the 101st guy my bloke had shagged I wouldn't feel very special. Either sex or the affection sex demonstrates means something or or doesnt. If he didn't give a shit about the other 100 that seems pretty bad, if he cared for them just a small amount then I've no reason to believe I'm any different. If he actually loved them all, then again love is not special when you've felt it for 100 people.

That's how I fell anyway. If you don't have to feel anything to have sex with someone, then why does it matter if your partner is having it with other people as long as he is being safe and with full consent ?

Ok so seeing as though we are all talking about sexy time here I thought I would post this ... it is a must watch 😂

100+. DH was the same. Both utterly monogamous after we'd met.

Who cares? Why does anyone have to remember the number?

if you said 100s to me i wouldn't bat an eyelid.

I bloody love seeing women post here that they’ve shagged whatever number of people and loved every second/no regrets. It just shows how our societies attitudes are slowly but surely changing. It’s a good role model for younger women to see that their sexuality is there’s to do whatever they wish with: shag 200 men, shag 1, treat sex like it’s just for fun or only with people you love (or for most people a combo: I’ve had purely casual sex for sport with guys I liked as friends but not romantically, and had meaningful lovemaking with the love of my life, both are sex, both are fine and normal), be celibate, whatever.

It’s your vagina to do what you like with. As long as you’re safe and it’s consensual, fuck away. The judgy comments on here stand out a mile cos they’re so rare compared to the many lovely posters making it clear they reject the concept of a ‘number’ meaning anything and are very happy with their sexual histories!

@TimIsHavingABadDay I have no experience of what you've been through, but I hear every word you say

@seeyouhen

They're saying they don't give a shit to put people like you in your place. What the fuck has it got to do with you anyway? What makes you think anybody cares about your judgement?

Put me in my place? Don't make me laugh! It will be a cold day in hell before anyone puts ME in my place my dear.

And why 'the fuck' do they even need to brag about the fact they have shagged 50, 60, 70 plus people? I don't give a flying fuck, but they seem to want to tell everyone. As long as they do that, I shall judge.

And I didn't say anyone had to care about my judgement. You sound like YOU do though. You sound very defensive and angry. So do a few others on here... Wonder why that is???

And as I said, I judge women AND men, so people can bore off with the 'women get bashed more than men' nonsense.

As you were........

I think it was about 40ish before DH. I spent my university years in a drunken haze and shagged anyone that was up for it. I thought I had a lot of fun at the time, but I substituted sex for love and it has taken me years to understand the difference. I don't look back on it all quite as fondly as I expected.

DH claims to have been with about 10 women, but I know he isn't including prostitutes he's paid in that number. He's in the Navy, and I know he's been with prostitutes in several countries in the past as I dealt with his meltdowns over HIV panics years ago (we were best friends for nearly 20 years before we got together).

It will be a cold day in hell before anyone puts ME in my place my dear

You don’t sound any less of a plonker because you put a wink face after such nonsense.

We all get to judge who we have sex with, and if you think as I do that someone who has shagged 100's of people doesn't see sex as something special then what's wrong with that ? It would be naive in the extreme to think that a serial shagger thought that i was somehow "special" or at least that specialness was being expressed by the act of sex, it's all done the same at the end of the day.

So WHAT if some people are judgemental towards people who have shagged a huge amount of people...? If people were so secure and happy with the amount of people they have shagged, they wouldn't CARE about what people thought of them.

Just leaving that there..........

they wouldn't CARE about what people thought of them

I don’t care in the slightest. I’m sure they don’t either.

I’d be interested to know the reasoning behind your opinion because it seems rather lacking in intelligence to me.

I’m secure and happy with many of my life choices. I still care what people think of me though.

I don't think that's many at all!
It all depends on one's age, when you started having sex, if you're open to one-night stands/casual sex, how many long-term relationships you've been in and how long each lasted etc. Also by how many people you might trust enough to have sex with but they turn out to be using you etc.
Say someone started having sex at 16, had an average of 5 partners per year (doesn't seem a lot to me), then met a long-term partner at 36 - that's 100 partners right there.
OP I haven't got a clue about my number, but I'd guess similar to yours.

I’ve had the same group of friends since school. I enjoyed my youth, some of them married the high school sweet heart some joined me on the club scene. Anyway was looking through some ancient photos and DH asked if me and a friend were on a date in the photo. I hadn’t a bloody clue. Had to text another friend who informed me we slept together but didn’t date. Alls well that ends well, we’re still good friends and I’ve been with DH for 10 years.

I can't remember accurately

But if I was to hazard a guess I would say 20 ish
And that was in a relatively short space of time.

Great fun.

I don't think YABU. I have no idea - I went through a really bad phase in my late teens and lost count of who I actually slept with. I was trying to deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse by trying to convince myself I wanted to have sex (like that somehow made the past abuse okay). I know roughly how many people in the sense that it's between 10-15 in total but I've no clue of the exact number. I don't think it matters tbh as the past is the past.

thisneverendingsummer

I never read past the first line of your reply, it's probably just more of the same waffle. I won't be giving you any more attention.

As you were.

One thing I know is good sex. Because of my 50-60 partners, there were some useless ones. I know what good sex is. I know what bad sex is. I know when a man is rubbish and I don't make excuses for him. I move on.
After having fantastic screaming sex I can't accept anything less.

My promiscuity has been a great learning curve - it's one area of my life that I have total control over - it's liberating.

The patriarchy never wanted us to have this freedom - men don't want the fear of comparison.
There's some great god's gift to women out there but there's some duff ones too. I'm glad i got to try both.

I got mixed when counting but i think its around 25? But i was 31 when i met dh and had long periods of being single during my 20,s .

I think how you judge maybe depends on how you view sex. Some people seem very tied up with sex = love so as a pp said they couldn’t feel special if their partner had had lots of people.

I personally don’t get that view - I’ve had sex with far more people than my dh has but I still love him to pieces and he’s very special to me. It’s not the sex that makes me love him - it’s who he is as a person.

I’ve just enjoyed having “fun sex” with people that haven’t meant as much too and had a bit of a wild few years as a teen / early twenties.

How is the reasoning unintelligent ? Either sex means something or it doesn't. If it didn't matter, then it wouldn't matter if your current partner had sex with someone else ? He doesn't need to care about them.

Would you trust a guy who's shagged hundreds of women when he tells you your special? Give over.

How many foods have you eaten lornar123? More than 1? How can you have a favourite if you’ve eaten lots and lots.