Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

Maybe you've just not met the right one yet

Erm, I'm what you would call 'a prolific shagger' and DH has tamed me. I have no intention of sleeping with anyone but him.

You can enjoy sex with someone you love yet still go on to be monogamous.

You've had it explained to you many times on this thread by many people. Are you really that dim or is this just a wind up?

Maybe you've just not met the right one yet

Slightly patronising. I’m not interested in meeting one.

In fact in the long term relationships I've had I've never cheated. How goes your theory there?

People who like to have lots of sex can also manage to not have sex when we want.

Our trampy legs don't fly open of their own violation whenever we're approached by a potential bedmate.

I haven't had enough sex. I envy you OP. I don't have sex with my current partner either so I'm an explosion waiting to happen should a potential shag offer itself time me!

Fifi don't call me dim thank you.

What I'm saying is quite straightforward, past behaviour is an indication of future behaviour. Before you try to dispute this, consider whether you would want a relationship with someone who cheated or worse hit their partner. They might not do either of those things to you, but I'm not risking it. In that vein if someone has shown that they like a varied sex life with dozens of partners, chances are they might well get bored of me, or the relationship will be very short. I don't see how this is controversial in any way. Other people may not feel this way but to go all wide eyed and pretend this is some new and unheard of thought process is wearing a bit thin.

@OrigamiZoo That sounds a little sad! DH and I went through a dry patch after ds was born but it picked up again, hopefully it will for you too!

Who cares? It all pasthistorh

Whoops! Past history!

@lornar123 you're saying I'm going to cheat? Based on the fact I've slept with lots of people?

You are talking utter, utter shite.

In fact in the long term relationships I've had I've never cheated. How goes your theory there?

Nor have I. Interestingly, one of my ex long term partners who only had 1 partner before he met me, cheated on me.

‘Before you try to dispute this, consider whether you would want a relationship with someone who cheated or worse hit their partner.’

How can you compare violence and cheating, with enjoying consensual sex? Violence and cheating are shitty behaviours, having sex is not.

What I'm saying is quite straightforward, past behaviour is an indication of future behaviour

In all scenarios of life? Don't be ridiculous.

If someone has previously hit a partner that shows me they are violent and violent is a terrible thing to be. So no, I wouldn’t want them for a partner - even with a cast iron guarantee that they would never hit me. Violence is abhorrent, I grew up with violence and I do not want that in my life full stop.

If someone had cheated in the past I’d be wary, because cheating shows you are capable of deceiving and betraying someone you’re supposed to love. Whether I would want them for a partner would very much depend on the specific circumstances though, whether it’s something they made a habit of or a mistake that they have learned from.

If someone has had a rich and varied sex life all that shows me is that they’ve had a rich and varied sex life. I’d assume they liked sex, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned. It would have absolutely no bearing on whether I’d consider them as a partner, and is in no way comparable to someone having a violent past.

You don't need to have had dozens of partners to have had a rich and varied sex life. I don't know why people keep saying this.

The way people have approached relationships in the past is indeed an indication of they feel about relationships...shock horror. If someone has spent their entire life shagging around and never really had a relationship, it would be arrogant in the extreme to expect that I would change them.

It's a lifestyle choice, I don't see why this one in particular is considered to mean nothing.

You don't need to have had dozens of partners to have had a rich and varied sex life

No-one has said that though. That sounds like your insecurities talking.

It's a lifestyle choice, I don't see why this one in particular is considered to mean nothing

Literally nobody has said that

I wasn't IN a relationship with most of them. I wasn't cheating on them.

I've never cheated on anyone and I certainly won't start with my husband and the father of my child.

You're actually being incredibly offensive now.

I find it very odd that anyone would feel "pity or disgust" at the number of sex partners anyone has had, as long as that person was single and the sex was consensual.

Why have such a judgemental attitude about something that has absolutely no impact on you?

It must surely have at its core the belief that sex is shameful or dirty?

Most odd.

So having boundaries of attributes I consider attractive or unattractive in potential partners is offensive to you. And I didn't say you were going to cheat or having a promiscuous past meant you were more likely to cheat. I said it would be arrogant of me to assume that I would be different to them and I wouldn't want a partner who could have sex so easily. I think you are just looking for a fight actually.

It is odd. Can't help feeling a little sorry for them really.

Sex isn't yuck, icky, sordid or anyone of the other spiteful words people have used here.

Well not the kind I've always had, maybe I'm doing it wrong!

I said it would be arrogant of me to assume that I would be different to them and I wouldn't want a partner who could have sex so easily

You need to recalibrate your thinking.

I had sex easily. Then I met my husband and was faithful to him for 15 years. It wasn’t hard, it wasn’t a chore. I never contemplated cheating.

It isn’t about promiscuous vs none. It’s about respect vs none.

• • Ummmmmmm

"In that vein if someone has shown that they like a varied sex life with dozens of partners, chances are they might well get bored of me, or the relationship will be very short.

The way people have approached relationships in the past is indeed an indication of they feel about relationships...shock horror. If someone has spent their entire life shagging around and never really had a relationship, it would be arrogant in the extreme to expect that I would change them."