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Original poster

Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

999 replies

fifithefoof · 09/10/2018 13:07

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting! Confused

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

OP posts:
BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 16:08

There really is a lot of defensiveness on this thread. 😂

If bagging two football teams is your thing, go for it - as long as you can handle the pity or disgust others feel about your jolly escapades.

MephistophelesApprentice · 11/10/2018 16:15

So it’s not personal choice and “respect” for living the sex life you want?

I've seen very little respect for people living the sex lives they want, or their personal choice, from the anti-promiscuity side of this particular debate.

MephistophelesApprentice · 11/10/2018 16:16

BrightonGallery7 providing a perfect example.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 16:17

Seeyouhen

The problem rather seems to be that you do not accept that anyone has the right to be put off a partner based on their sexual history. Your constant reiteration that the only reason I would hold this view is because I was cheated on is false, I don't get why this is hard for you to understand ?

Stonebake · 11/10/2018 16:17

Sorry, was that^^ supposed to be an answer to my question? If you cba, feel free to read back. I think you’ll see I’ve been (I hope) respectful throughout.

I think there’s been some snide comments on both sides; including yours re “envy”.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 16:18

I don't want a partner who has been what I consider to be promiscuous, this is actually a very common view in my experience, I'm sorry if you personally find that offensive but I don't see what I can do about that.

MephistophelesApprentice · 11/10/2018 16:20

What is it about some women's sexuality that drives other women to such extremes of contempt?

Is it pro-patriarchal man-pleasing, aligning with those misogynists who see a sexually liberated woman as 'soiled'? Or some feminist fear that they are just doing it for male approval, which undermines their perception of other women?

Either way, it appears more than a little small minded and contemptible.

mononoaware1907 · 11/10/2018 16:23

Mine is 14 (including my current partner & a single one night stand). I think it's high.

Tinkobell · 11/10/2018 16:25

My negative views on having slept with lots and lots of people have nothing to do with women. I think both men and women that treat sex like blowing your nose and kind of unpleasant.

Stonebake · 11/10/2018 16:28

MephistophelesApprentice

Sorry, I really can’t work out if you’re talking to me again or not.

If so, I’ve explained myself a lot on here. Just read back if you like. Or you can continue going off on one, whatever you like 🤷‍♀️.

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 16:30

BrightonGallery7

I don’t understand how you can pity someone for having the enjoyable sex life they choose.

I don’t pity someone for having 1 partner, or 3 etc. Provided it’s what they want, there’s nothing to feel sorry for.

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 16:31

I think both men and women that treat sex like blowing your nose and kind of unpleasant

I’ve had sex a lot less times than I’ve blown my nose Grin

Stonebake · 11/10/2018 16:33

I don’t understand how you can pity someone for having the enjoyable sex life they choose

Exactly. I take it you don’t think anyone envies your number, as (I assume) you don’t envy anyone else’s?

2rebecca · 11/10/2018 16:35

I can't remember. I had a good time at university. Plus with some of the short lived relationships i really can't remember if we slept together or not, it doesn't seem important now. In the past 17 years there's only been 1. My husband wishes he'd slept with more women when he was young free and single.
I'm not proud of sleeping with a lot of men, but I'm not ashamed of it either, it's just the way my life went.

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 16:37

Exactly. I take it you don’t think anyone envies your number, as (I assume) you don’t envy anyone else’s?

Not in the slightest. I’ve lived my life so far exactly how I wish. I’m happy as long as everyone else is.

Stonebake · 11/10/2018 16:38

Same here exactly jacques.

79andnotout · 11/10/2018 16:43

I have a lot of male friends going back to our uni days. We're all a hotch potch of incest and have slept with each other, dated, married, had kids, and swapped around a few times! I'm going to one ex's wedding soon.

It's only sex. All their body parts have blended into one by now.

I'm glad I had lots of sex with multiple partners when I had the energy/body for it. Now I'd rather watch tv or walk the dog...

seeyouhen · 11/10/2018 16:45

I don't want a partner who has been what I consider to be promiscuous, this is actually a very common view in my experience, I'm sorry if you personally find that offensive but I don't see what I can do about that

I don't find it offensive at all. You don't want a partner who you would consider 'promiscuous' but someone who cheats on you is ok??? Now that is something I don't understand.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 16:49

Someone who cheats on me is not ok, I explained this several times yesterday, I dumped him for it. His attempt to win me back involved the "but it was just sex and meant nothing" argument as discussed, but it makes no difference, he's gone now.

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 16:51

His attempt to win me back involved the "but it was just sex and meant nothing" argument as discussed, but it makes no difference, he's gone now

He is just one person, because he suggests “it was just sex and means nothing” as an excuse for infidelity doesn’t mean that can be extrapolated out to others.

Absla · 11/10/2018 16:51

brilliant. As long as you never got hurt on the way, it’s all fun and games. It’s better to have lived than not lived at all. Most people who are my age have slept with a lot of people, it all depends how old you were when you lost your virginity, how high your sexdrive is, and when you got into a serious relationship.

We can’t sow our bits up now can we?

Live and let live, it’s only a number not a definition

(And remember most people lie about how many people they’ve been with)

MNHQ
AnyaMumsnet · 11/10/2018 17:06

Hi there everyone,

Can we please provide a gentle reminder to stick to our talk guidelines?

We really don't want to have to shut this conversation down, as it's a great topic but we would like to remind everyone that personal attacks aren't allowed - if they continue, we'll have to take the thread down which would be a real shame.

SherbrookeFosterer · 11/10/2018 17:10

So long as it was always consensual sex and you had a good time, I wouldn't worry about it.

lornar123 · 11/10/2018 17:13

I'm not saying that it can be extrapolated out to others Jacques, but as I say there are legions of women who thought they would tame a profilic shagger and ended up with a broken heart. I think you and I are quite different in that you don't ever seem to have felt heartbroken nor do you seem to think you could be, think you said you would "annoyed".

JacquesHammer · 11/10/2018 17:14

I think you and I are quite different in that you don't ever seem to have felt heartbroken nor do you seem to think you could be, think you said you would "annoyed"

No, I don’t believe an other adult has the power to leave me heartbroken.

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