Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

I've had one, that's boring isn't it!

It's not boring if you and your partner are happy and satisfied.

Remember I'm young(ISH) I might feel different when I'm 50 but I kind of hope my partner still has the ability to break my heart if not what's the point

Yeah I’m nowhere near 50

But then I’m not interested in a relationship full stop.

Remember I'm young(ISH) I might feel different when I'm 50 but I kind of hope my partner still has the ability to break my heart if not what's the point ?

No no no no no, you've got it all wrong. I'm really shocked by that. That's not what loving someone is about.

If you were single at the time then don’t suppose it matters... (hopefully it was safe sex as the thought of std’s freak me out a bit... ha)

I know my DH had quite a few sexual partners before me, although i’ve never asked how many! I have had 11 including him. What is funny is that he’s never asked me about mine... EVER! I had 2 serious relationships before him, so i think he thinks i have slept with just 3 people, including him. He probably also doesn’t know what young age i lost my viriginity

How long is a piece of string!! I Can remember the first and the last the bit in the middle is a bit of a blur!! That’s what I told my husband when we meet 20 years ago!! He just laughed!! I was quite a wild girl!! My poor old dad use to call all my boyfriends Davie one of them asked him why he kept calling him Dave when it was not his name my dad replied well I don’t bother learning the names as my lovely daughter changes her boyfriends like some people change the underwear!! You won’t be in favour by next week a newer model will replace you!! So Dave you are!!

@lornar123 It's a mistake to assume jealousy is an integral part of a loving relationship. I used to think the same and found it weird that DH wasn't jealous of any of my exes. But I soon realised that when you're in a properly secure, loving relationship exes are totally meaningless. I'm not jealous of DH's exes because I'm the person he truly loves and has chosen to spend his life with. There's nothing to be jealous of.

I used to think the same and found it weird that DH wasn't jealous of any of my exes

Your DH sounds confidant and secure in your relationship.

seeyouhen: Not really. We're all adults who know how to look after ourselves. What makes you think people are out shagging random strangers every night of the week? If you'd bothered to RTFT you'd know that most of us are talking about when we were younger and this was all before we settled down.

And how is this relevant How is it only about you.

Health concerns are health concerns whether it is now or then. Many older women who come back into the market after the breakdown of their long term relationships are particularly vulnerable to STIs. Head in the sand?

#confident

And how is this relevant How is it only about you

We're all adults who know how to look after ourselves

Where did I say me? You're very patronising.

Somewhat takes the fun out of the joyous copious sex to have to use condoms religiously
No it doesn't. DP and I use condoms because we don't want any more DC. Putting on condoms can be fun if you choose to make it so.

The more you write about your Ex, the more of an arsehole he sounds lornar123 He is a cheat with very poor sexual etiquette and a shitty attitude towards women. If he had said that to me or about me he would never be getting sex from me again. I'm another who doesn't feel jealous or "stingy" feelings when thinking of my partner having sex with people before we met. He is the same, which is handy as I was married and had a child when we met.

TBH I would consider jealousy of my past relationships a red flag.

seeyouhen you can only speak for yourself.

74. Mostly men, a few women. Actually, I've slept with more women than DH. He knows because we were from the same group of friends who had known each other since primary and as it was a boy-heavy group, this stuff was talked about a lot, and openly.

There are different kinds of sex. Some requires deep feelings, some requires simple attraction, some requires little more than a mutual desire to have a bit of fun. Sex doesn't have to be a big emotional soup for everyone.

Dione dh and I used condoms as our only protection for the longest time. I can tell you on good authority it is more fun without

I don't remember either. Probably between 15-20. But sex is great and I thoroughly enjoyed my 20's so am ashamed of nothing!

If you had a good time, everyone was safe and consenting it doesn't matter!

I can tell you on good authority it is more fun without

Surely you can only speak for yourself

Mine’s around 50 too. Don’t know exactly and certainly can’t remember their names!

I never purported to speak for anyone else

We are all just voicing our own opinions, that is until seeyouthen tells you someone else has said it before, like that is even relevant.

I honestly can’t remember how many (I would even struggle with names tbh) my memory is terrible. That said I know it’s around 20. Been with DH 16 years so It was a lonngg time ago. I don’t think my number is high but some people might think it is. I don’t really care either way. It was all consensual. I took my DH’s V plates so as far as I know I am his 1 and only! I do like that fact but I would never have held it against him if his body count was higher!

Ok so 30-50 is higher than average. I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t actually remember my exact number off the top of my head. I’d guess around 10-15 off the top of my head but to know an exact number I’d actually have to think on it and make a list and I don’t care enough about some of those to do that. Some were excellent and some were a waste of time. Some were people I loved and trusted and others were just for fun (or apparently only fun for them in a couple of lazy male partners). I don’t think the number is important at all. I have a son and a daughter and whilst I obviously want them to both be careful...I want to be realistic and also want them to enjoy life. The reality is that sex is fun and it’s human nature to want it. I don’t expect them to wait for that one person they want to marry although for their first time I shall be strongly advising the important of at least being comfortable with yourself, your partner and having trust with your partner even if not love and only doing what they want and are comfortable with whether that means one partner or five or fifty.... though probably not fifty at once that sounds exhausting and messy.

seeyouhen you can only speak for yourself

No I wasn't just speaking for myself. Someone else came on saying the same because she hadn't RTFT and was told the same thing by someone else.

I think I misspoke all I mean is that your partner must have the capability to break your heart, not that you spend your days on tenterhooks worrying about it. That was all, surely all people would feel like that ?

I'm in my late 40s and my number is 6 (including my late husband, and the father of my DC). I can remember all of their names.

I know what condom less sex is like blue.

@seeyouhen Yes, he is and always has been. Took me a bit longer but I got there!