Page 19 | Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

fifithefoof · 2018-10-09T12:07:47+00:00

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with. Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting! [confused] I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50! Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 18:21

And as for being disrespectful by talking about someone as if they are a piece of meat...you are kidding me ? You don't even know a thing about them, how do you know they weren't cheating

Who are you talking about?! The partner? Given they’re a partner I would know a thing about them.

You’ve obviously been badly hurt but please stop trying to make out everyone is like your exes. They’re really not.

Kahlua4me · 10/10/2018 18:23

Mine is up in the 20s and apart from one that I regret immensely, and always will, I had a great time in my youth 😀😀!

I do remember the names of most of them but generally have no regrets. I have had 3 long term relationships but lived it up inbetween. I have now been happily married to my dh for 14 years and we have been together for 19 years. He has only had 4 relationships and I know all of them, but we have never discussed past shenanigans really...

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:25

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that if you don't care about your dp having sex with someone else other than because of some perceived commitment (to what I am not sure) then you don't really love him. Love is partly putting yourself at risk of being hurt by that person,.you give the impression of someone who be a bit irked they had broken a deal you thought you had. Doesn't sound like passion to me.

Elephant14 · 10/10/2018 18:27

As long as you are happy with that OP then bloody good luck to you, who cares. I've been in 3 long term relationships the last one a 30 year marriage, but before all that, oh yes indeed, at least 20 and no I couldn't remember them all (although some are coming back to me now I think about it ... oh dear ...).

This was all in the 70s and early 80s. I regret there weren't more to be honest. So there.

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 18:28

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say that if you don't care about your dp having sex with someone else other than because of some perceived commitment (to what I am not sure) then you don't really love him. Love is partly putting yourself at risk of being hurt by that person,.you give the impression of someone who be a bit irked they had broken a deal you thought you had. Doesn't sound like passion to me

Oh good an armchair Freud.

I have no idea why you want everyone’s relationships to be as bad as yours was. I genuinely think you need to sort your feelings out, don’t worry about mine.

Racheyg · 10/10/2018 18:32

I don't think it's high.
As long as your consenting and having fun I don't see an issue. My number is astronomical compared to most on this thread

Elephant14 · 10/10/2018 18:32

missbloomsbury - are you over 70 years old, or had sex with more than 70 people? You sound like my kinda gal!

As for suggs and his comment about slags and cock, well yes I generally do like it, but I suspect I wouldn't be liking to be anywhere near yours.

seeyouhen · 10/10/2018 18:32

lornar123

We have tried to help you out on this thread, but you seem to be brainwashed by what your ex has told you and don't want to believe that your ex is a complete and utter arsehole who seems to enjoy cheating on you, making you jealous and gaslighting you. You seem to be defending his actions, I really hope you stay away from him.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 10/10/2018 18:36

If the sex is nothing more than a satisfying handshake, then what’s it all for??

The desire for sex and the desire for sexual intimacy are different needs. One isn't better than the other, they're simply different. 'Casual sex' can be great - and can be dreadful. Same is true of 'relationship sex'.

I love spending time talking with my partner, sharing our thoughts and feelings. It's wonderful. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying the simple pleasure of exchanging greetings with someone I pass on my morning walk - someone who I may never meet again.

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:36

I already know my feelings about this, if I would feel envy or jealousy at the thought of them with someone else it's a sign you feel for them. If you feel nothing I'm not sure what the point would be, I suppose that's what I mean. I don't mean to pick on you specifically Jacques sorry.

HmmGrey · 10/10/2018 18:36

I’m 24 and my number 2 - wish it was 200 settled down early

lindyloo57 · 10/10/2018 18:40

mine is 2, but i was married at 19 and again at 27, i'm 58.

seeyouhen · 10/10/2018 18:40

I already know my feelings about this, if I would feel envy or jealousy at the thought of them with someone else it's a sign you feel for them. If you feel nothing I'm not sure what the point would be, I suppose that's what I mean. I don't mean to pick on you specifically Jacques sorry

So are you hoping to meet a virgin? You're going to have to sort this out and get a grip of your jealousy if you hope to meet someone else and have a healthy relationship.

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:40

You haven't really explained very much. My feelings are quite clear no sex without some feelings. I'm trying to understand why if you enjoy sex with no feelings how there suddenly become some and whether those feelings then have any connection to the sex, the answers are wishy washy or in Jacques case, she doesn't seem to feel any jealousy about anyone which is at odds with my lived experience.

Liketoshop · 10/10/2018 18:40

Either way. How many did you use protection for? Any? STIs?
I wouldn't brag about 30-50.

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 18:41

I don’t believe jealousy is a sign you love someone. Is that what your ex told you?

How on earth can you be jealous about stuff that happened before you got with someone?

True love is about so much more than that.

When I split with my husband we did it with love, we’re still close friends, we co-parent successfully. There were no arguments or hurt or anger. I look back at our relationship with fondness and gladness that we had that time together. That’s love. Not jealousy and bitterness.

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:41

Course I don't expect to meet a virgin,

The80sweregreat · 10/10/2018 18:43

Just one! I do feel a freak at times but I've a low sex drive and was scared of sex I think ( scared of Sti 's and pregnancy)
My dh's number is about 6 or 7 i think!

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 18:43

In my case

How many did you use protection for?

Every one bar my then husband.

andypandy60 · 10/10/2018 18:43

I've had one, that's boring isn't it!

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:46

Jealousy is not the same as love of course, but for most people, and I've seen this many times with friends who are all cool about their partners Past and all that, the in comes an ex and you can see their demeanour change etc, this is what I would say is normal, not feeling nothing at all, but maybe that is just my experience. Jealousy is maybe too strong a word but I would expect a twinge at least, if nothing it's a non starter for me.

Rhiannon13 · 10/10/2018 18:46

I asked my partner and he said 'God knows. A lot!'. Why isn't there a male equivalent word for 'slag'?

Male or female, it really doesn't matter does it?

seeyouhen · 10/10/2018 18:48

My feelings are quite clear no sex without some feelings. I'm trying to understand why if you enjoy sex with no feelings how there suddenly become some and whether those feelings then have any connection to the sex

I already had feelings for my DP the first time we had sex. We didn't have sex the first time we met or the 2nd, shock horror . There was a connection with him that I didn't have with other people that I'd previously had sex with or been out with. Sex with other people was still enjoyable even without the connection I felt with my DP. The connection I had/have with my DP makes sex even more enjoyable that it was before, even more so than I with other long-term partners. I don't know if that even makes any sense...my head is scrambled with this thread.

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:48

Remember I'm young(ISH) I might feel different when I'm 50 but I kind of hope my partner still has the ability to break my heart if not what's the point ?

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 18:49

It makes perfect sense to me seeyou