Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

I don't think it's fair to say he treats women as whores I guess you could say he passed judgement about them for sure. You could equally say they treat him as a whore. We have in my opinion totally incompatible views on sex. And I suppose if that is how you view it, nothing to bother about, or just an insignificant detail then his apparent upset at me dumping him is logical.

lornar123

He is a bastard for sure. He's done a job on you and you just can't see it yet, hopefully you will when your head clears a bit. Run away fast, you deserve much better than him.

lornar123

He has no business getting into a relationship and still sleeping around. He should stay single and sleep around - no-one would call him a bastard for that.

Your Ex wanted to have his cake, eat it and have a spare cake in the freezer lornar123. It doesn't really matter what he said, he was a cheating toe rag. Nothing more complicated than that.

If you were mainly single through your 20s the numbers can wrack up fairly fast.

I didn't get married until I was 42, and up until then, my longest relationship was 3 years. I'm not even going to think about counting every shag ...

Those whose numbers are well into double digits, I cannot imagine you have been all that fussy about your partners.

Is it possible to have sex with that many people without catching an STI? I am not particularly concerned about the moral dimension between consenting adults but I wonder about the health implications, physical and in certain cases mental.

What would be your response about why you were upset, given you all acknowledge that sex is nothing to worry about ? People say this but in my experience they don't really believe it at some deep level which is why when their DPs ex turns up it inspires discomfort typically.

And it's not just about trust or deceit the question is why does sex inspire this feeling of ownership....if it doesn't matter ?

Sex is very different with different people for me.

That's why sex with someone I love can be an amazing, special thing and sex with someone I'm so so about can be amazing in a different way.

Sex can also be shit with someone you love sometimes lol.

100% truth, all of this! I find it odd how people can’t understand this.

blueshoes

Depends what you mean by fussy. I only had sex with men I liked as people and found attractive. Does that count as fussy to you? Or would I have had to have been in love with and wanting a future with them?

@lornar123 you aren't listening! Lots of people have told you that sex with a special person IS special.

@fifithefoof but can you explain why the special person then having non special sex with someone else bothers you ?

1. So not hard to remember.

Wish it was higher. Am to old and fat now.

As long as it was all consensual sex then don’t give it another thought.

Anyone placing value judgements on this has issues.

YANBU. Me too!

@lornar123 because once a commitment is made to be a mamagram it's deceitful to break that commitment.

Yeah but lots of commitments get broken that don't inspire anything like the same level of pain, so it's not just that.

the question is why does sex inspire this feeling of ownership....if it doesn't matter ?
Sexiness does not inspire a feeling of ownership for me. Nor do I want any partner to think that my having sex with them imbues any ownership of me. Perhaps it is on this point that our views of sex fundamentally differ lornar123.

Oops, that should read Sex, not Sexiness.

Those whose numbers are well into double digits, I cannot imagine you have been all that fussy about your partners

Yes actually I was quite fussy with who I slept with. My number could be triple what it actually is.

Is it possible to have sex with that many people without catching an STI?

Of course it is. I've never had an STI.

Rightly or wrongly, I judge anyone who has fucked more than 50 people.

I'm in my mid-60s. If I'd shagged 50 people, it would still be an average of one a year since I lost my virginity. That's pretty restrained if someone hasn't spent much time in settled relationships imo.

Just counting relationships of more than 1 year's duration gives me a score of 10, ffs.

It's not ownership per se, I think you would call it faithfulness. Why can't your partner shag other people if they don't mean anything to him ? What's wrong with that ? Most people would be gutted and jealous as I was I think. Most people expect their "d"p to be exclusive, but I don't understand why if you think sex can be meaningless it would matter to you ? Take the deciet out of it. This is where I am and why for me sex is tied to emotion I guess, I dunno though I don't understand where all these feelings come from.

OIC some posters think that women are slags if they sleep with more than X Y or Z amount of partners (varies wildly amonst posters as to what is acceptable).

To the person who slept with 5 but considers 15 too many - how do you feel that someone before you has slept with 3 and considers anything above that 'too many'

Oh and if not a 'slag' (yeah yeah you don't have to say the word out loud) then low self esteem. Disgusting attitude. Teaching that shit attitude to your sons are you?

Can't we just enjoy sex for it's own sake?

Someone who's had sex with 20 people over the course of say 20 years is to be judged? What about someone who's only ever had 2 partners over a span of 20 years? That's acceptable (except perhaps when you find out that for 12 years they were having an affair whilst married)

Yes my number would have been in the 1000s if I was less picky!

And despite being a raging slit, ive never had an STI.

*slut

Those whose numbers are well into double digits, I cannot imagine you have been all that fussy about your partners

Define fussy. I’ve never slept with anyone I didn’t find attractive. I’ve never been drunk so there’s always been 100% consensual choice.

Is it possible to have sex with that many people without catching an STI?

Of course. I have never had an STI. I’ve always, ALWAYS practised safe sex. The only person I have ever slept with without protection was my then husband.

Enjoying sex doesn’t immediately mean reckless and stupid.