Were we rude & unreasonable?

[Ownerofalittlechimp]

Eh birthday on Friday & originally planned to have mil & cm for tea & cake (just takeaway as v young dc's). Dh got stuck in work so rearranged for Sunday lunch. All good, nice roast, birthday cake etc. After I've cleared up ds1 comes through says granny a & granny b want wine mummy. We don't have any so I say so & offer more coffee, soft drinks etc (had offered before & during meal too). Big sighs from both then muttering together that they wanted wine, thought we'd have had it & they'll make do with coffee if that's the only thing available. Mil continues to mutter that she was looking forward to a few glasses as she's got a busy week & so suddenly has to leave to finish some jobs. Both gone within 5 minutes then later found to be slating us (me) on family whatsapp for being mean & rude. Guessing they thought they were messaging each other.

For context we very rarely have wine or any drinks in & dh just wanted a nicelunch with family. Not anti alcohol or anything & if we had anything it would be offered. Dh has responded to msgs saying they've been rude but apparently we're awful hosts & should always have a decent drinks selection to offer, what if they'd wanted g&t's etc

What do you all think?

Surely you can see that my question was posed in general terms, and was not specific to the OP?

But no one has suggested people with genuine objections to serving alcohol should do so.

Mr elton was a vicar so hardly massively posh.
Georgian upper and middle class drank shed loads of wine. Labourers and artisans drank mostly beer and stout. I live in a place with a large jane Austen industry so know more about this than I should.

Your assertion that boozing is recent is plain wrong, sorry. English are well known as big drinking culture for hundreds of years at all levels of society.

"Labourers and artisans drank mostly beer and stout."

Beacause it was safer than drinking the water.

The Romans drank it like water

Indeed. Same for victorians led to massive problems

Let's not forget that the current gin craze isnt the first that this country has experienced either! Water wasn't considered a safe drink and often wasn't so beer, wine and spirits were very common depending on your class and social position.

To be fair my teetotal BIL does serve wine because he is happy for others to drink it even if he doesn't want to. Where as my vegetarian BIL doesn't because he has an ethical objection to meat eating. But you can't serve what you don't have in your house.

Brits imported Roman wine in quantity from the late Iron Age onwards. In large amphorae, like flagons. The evidence reaches across all types of sites, not just high status ones, especially during the Roman period of Britain. It was quite a humdrum drink in the end, especially as a safe substitute for water.

It's all very interesting. If you like that sort of thing.

It's not strange, either to serve alcohol or not serve it

It is very rude to complain about it though

and if you keep complaining about either choice, then it indicates a problem of some sort

In wouldn't have turned up without wine as a guest to be honest, perhaps then if it wasn't offered I'd be a bit miffed , but wouldn't expect it from hosts, particularly at lunch time

Jesus one throwaway remark that people in England generally have enjoyed drinking wine for hundreds of years - why are you so invested Frances its odd. And anyway it's true.

Bit weird of them to be so horrified. My family meets for Sunday lunch every week and we never have wine, it just never crossed our minds to drink at that time of day. It's not a big deal.

The rudeness was leaving someone’s birthday celebration early specifically because there was no wine.

My FIL would expect wine with lunch but he certainly wouldn’t dream of leaving his son’s birthday celebration early because he wasn’t given any.

I think that’s extremely odd behaviour.

I’m more shocked that they are messaging in the app, where you can see. They must be mad. Being so rude about lack of wine is ridiculous. I don’t drink, I can but I just choose not to. There is rarely alcohol in my home. I’d laugh if someone tried to act how yours have and suggest they bring their own then. Some people are so nasty and a bit dependant if they can’t handle a family meal without drink.

@Huskylover1 I don't drink alcohol, no objections to it. I'm not square, I just wouldn't expect guests to be drinking at lunch time. If it was an evening get together I would have wine.